Listening: The silent Power Skill

An Article by Cristina Andersson and Arne van Oosterom

Listening. We talk about it all the time, but let’s be honest—most of us don’t actually do it. Not properly. Not in the way that creates real understanding. It’s not just hearing words or nodding along while waiting for your turn to speak. Listening is so much more than that. It’s a skill, and a hard one to master, but it’s also one of the most valuable things you can do.

Have you ever taken a new device out of the box and skipped the manual? Then you get stuck and have to dig it up later. That’s what we often do with people. We don’t listen. We assume. We rush ahead without taking the time to actually understand what they mean, what they’re trying to say, what they think the real issue is.?

When we fail to listen, we fail to understand. And that’s a problem—not just for our relationships but for how we solve problems and connect with the world around us.

Listening is Harder Than It Looks?

We’ve got this weird idea that “soft skills” like listening are easy because, well, they’re soft, right? Meanwhile, “hard skills” like coding or analysis are supposed to be the tough ones. That’s nonsense. Listening—really listening—is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

Because to listen, you have to be fully present. You have to stop thinking about what you’re going to say next. Stop scrolling through your mental list of opinions, biases, and assumptions. And for most of us, that’s hard work.

It’s about more than just hearing words. It’s about getting the meaning behind those words. Being curious about someone else’s point of view. And sometimes, it’s about being comfortable with not knowing, with silence, and with letting things sit.?

Silence: Letting It Be Awkward

Here’s the thing about silence: most of us hate it. We jump to fill it as quickly as possible because it feels awkward or uncomfortable. But silence is where the good stuff lives. It’s in those quiet pauses that people have time to think, to process, and to say the things they weren’t sure they wanted to say.?

Great interviewers—journalists, researchers, documentary makers—they know this. They ask an open question, and then they shut up. They wait. And it works. People open up, share more, and reveal the things they really care about.

We need to learn to do that more. To let the silence be, without rushing in to fill it with noise.

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The Noise in Our Heads

Sometimes the biggest barrier to listening isn’t the noise outside—it’s the noise in our own heads. The opinions we’re so sure are right, the judgments we’ve already made, the urge to respond or fix or solve.

Listening means turning that off. Not forever, but long enough to really hear what someone else is saying. It means putting your own stuff on pause so you can take in what’s in front of you. That’s hard. But it’s worth it.?

Because if you don’t listen, you’ll never learn. And if you’re not learning, you’re stuck. You’ll just keep walking around with the same blind spots, missing the things that could actually change your perspective or make you better.

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Listening as a Way to Connect?

When you listen, you’re telling someone they matter. You’re saying, “I see you, I hear you, and I want to understand you.” That kind of listening builds trust, empathy, and connection. It’s not just about being nice.

Listening like this can make you better at your job. It can help you solve problems more effectively because you actually understand what’s going on. It can lead to stronger relationships, clearer communication, and fewer misunderstandings.

Listening is about being present. Giving the person in front of you your full attention. That means no distractions—no phone, no multitasking. Just you, fully focused on what they’re saying.

And it’s not just the words. Pay attention to the tone, the body language, the pauses. Listening is as much about what’s unsaid as what’s said.

Letting Go of Your Need to Be Right

Listening also requires humility. You have to be willing to let go of the idea that you already know the answer. That’s not easy, especially when you care deeply about your perspective.

?If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never grow. You’ll never see the world from someone else’s point of view, and without that, you’ll never build real empathy. And without empathy, you can forget about innovation, creativity, or even basic problem-solving.

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So, What Now?

Start small. The next time you’re in a conversation, resist the urge to interrupt. Don’t jump in to fix, solve, or share your opinion. Just listen. And when there’s a pause, let it sit. Just slowly count to 5 in your head.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Because when you truly listen, you’ll learn things you didn’t know. You’ll see things you didn’t notice. And you’ll connect with people in ways that can transform how you work, live, and lead.

Listening isn’t just a skill. It’s a choice. And it’s one of the most powerful choices you can make.

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