Listening Rather than Throwing Up

One of the many skills that needs to be polished is your listening skills. For some reason, many professionals seem more comfortable receiving information in writing, rather than orally. They only half listen, because they are waiting for a chance to speak and ‘sell’ themselves. My advice, when in a "selling" situation, especially on the telephone is to remember to listen!

When we are into ‘personal selling,’ which is what networking is all about, we fall into a syndrome called "throwing up on the customer." Sales pitch mode means we are only be thinking about what we want to say and tend to forget to listen to what the other person is saying. We tell them everything about ourselves.

When we are doing business with strangers, we want to impress them. There is also a normal human reluctance to ask those we really don't know that well to make introductions for us. Yet in many industries it’s hard to break into them because they tend to only want to do business with people who are known to them. Private Equity Groups and Venture Capital Firms are perfect examples. Why is this? The reason is the risks of doing business with strangers is very high. Big money is at stake. So, in the context of networking, you ask folks, you don’t know that well, to introduce you to their friends and business associates. You are asking for someone (a relative stranger) to do something that can have high risks.

You worry ‘what if I don't impress their friend or business contact?’ Impressing them can be contingent on passing a “test” you didn’t quite realize you were taking. The test requires to you listen very carefully. Remember even though this contact may prove profitable, there may be more introductions down the line. That’s why I strongly recommend reporting back to your networking contacts. You may think you would be bothering them and they’ve already been very kind to you. The truth is they have probably been thinking about you and the introduction they made. They’re awaiting a report on the results of the meeting. 

Now back to the “test." You are a qualified and capable person and may have the opportunity to be of service to your networking contact. How? By listening. Just as you don't want to feel like you are asking for a huge favor, neither do they. Here is where your listening skills are really needed. Is your networking contact asking you to do something for them? The something may actually be a "test" and if you pass, it may lead to even more introductions.

So instead of "throwing up" on your networking contacts (it’s too messy), take the time to listen to what they have to say. Turn your hearing aid way up. You may come away with more than you ever imagined was possible.

Regards, Matt