listening to one’s self

{2 minutes to read}  Have you ever made a decision to move ahead even though something within you was telling you not to do it? When your brain kept trying to go against that little something? And when you found all sorts of reasons to believe that this was the right thing to do in that moment, only to discover later that it was the wrong decision?

I will admit to you that I have, and then I had to face the negative consequences of my decisions, some of them more serious than others. By now I hope that I have learned to let “my inside match my outside!” 

But what does that mean? 

We are told to listen to others so that we can make them feel understood so that we can understand them better and help improve communication between us. But do we listen to ourselves? How do we make decisions when we have a list of pros and cons that may seem equally compelling?

And then, of course, we each have our own “Greek chorus.” Those people around us — our friends, our colleagues, our relatives — who may put in their two cents. Should we listen to them? We are frequently influenced by them and even though their intentions are to protect us, they often give us advice according to what may have worked for them. The truth is that no one can fully understand what the right decision may be for us, except us, ourselves.

This is where we need to be honest and aim to match our inside with our outside. We need to listen to that little inside voice telling us that we should not go ahead, or make light of that twinge in our stomach indicating that this may not be the right thing to do at this particular time.

So what is the right answer? Only you can decide, but don’t be afraid to trust that inner voice in spite of the push-back from your own brain. 

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator

divorce and family mediation

upper east side of manhattan (nyc)

new york, ny

(212) 472-8626

[email protected]