Listening to Completion
Ken Carlson PCC, CPCC and Petra Russell PCC, CPCC, ELI-MP - Prickly Pear

Listening to Completion

When was the last time you were really listened to? I mean, you got everything out—all that you had to say—and you weren’t interrupted? No one had any funny quips for you, or sideways opinions, or even long sighs to express their frustration or boredom. Your listener just held space for you and was eager to hear it all.

If it was recent, then your experience is not common. Even with those we love the most, many of us struggle to truly listen.

Although we can’t control what other people do—or how they show up for us—we can control how we show up. We can control how we listen.

I learned this concept called “listening to completion” and it’s a game changer. It’s simple really, but not easy. Next time you are talking to your life partner or your good friend, or your parent, or your child, or your boss, or your employee… you get the picture… try this:

  • Ask a clear question
  • Be quiet and listen intently
  • When they have paused and there is empty space, ask a simple followup like—“Is there anything else?” or “Do you have more to say about that?”
  • Be quiet and listen intently
  • Repeat steps 3 and 4 until the answer is clear that they have nothing else to say

In the world of neurodivergent leaders, this activity alone can make all the difference. Depending on what they are dealing with, these leaders sometimes have never been truly listened to—maybe because they weren’t communicating in a “normal” way, or the pressure of the moment seemed too great, or they just didn’t expect to be listened to so they didn’t notice when it didn’t happen.

I’ve found in this work that helping neurodivergent leaders by just listening to them—allowing them to really hear themselves—has a direct impact on their leadership.

  • They have more confidence in themselves because they get that they really do have empathy and only need to practice how to demonstrate it
  • They are more honest with themselves about where they need to grow and see themselves more as humans having a human experience
  • They see their strengths and have the space to explore how to utilize them more effectively
  • They start to look for validation less often from outside themselves and more often from within

I’d be interested to hear your perspective. My calendar is always open for a connecting and/or networking conversation if you have reached this far in the newsletter. :)

Please find a link here to my calendar—hope to talk to you soon!

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Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodivergent leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

June 6: Embodying Resilience and Grit

May 23: Taylor Swift Can Do It With a Broken Heart—So Can You!

May 16: Neurodivergent Executives (Like The Yeti but Real)

May 10: Focused and Distracted at the Same Time

May 3: All Brains Belong

April 25: No One Told Me I Couldn’t Do That!!! Expectations vs Agreements & Neurodivergent Leaders

April 19: I Can’t Deal with THIS Person

April 12 : Being Smarter is NOT the Answer

April 5: All Executive Coaching Eventually Becomes "Life Coaching"

Mar 28: The Best Leadership is Service

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

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Staying In Touch

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