Listening with no agenda

I have been thinking of the importance of listening with no agenda or purpose. It started after a conversation with some young adult boys, who came to our center to talk about violence in their neighborhood. Most of them were first generation migrants and we connected well.

"What did you learn today? - I asked after a three hour conversation and many pizzas.

"What did you learn today? - I asked after a three hour conversation and many pizzas.

"To wait a little bit longer when I′m angry", one said. These boys had many stories to be told, about their hopes, family, quarrels with the police, soccer, food, IT, jobs and more.

After they left, I thought: why are not more adults engaging in conversations with young people? Of course I know that adults do engage with youth, but this happens very often with an expectation.

Parents require them to respect the rules.

Leaders want them to obey the rules.

Teachers want them to follow the rules, and so on.

I may not have the full picture, but it is possible that we are forgetting how to meet between generations, without having these meetings sorted out through organized activities or rules.

In times when the world is afraid of so many -isms, it is perhaps worth an effort to engage in more conversations between generations.

I take this curiosity with me into the new year, and I will try to do something about it. I hope you do to.

Happy New Year, and I wish you will start and enjoy many unusual conversations in 2020.