The #ListenFirst movement (Social Friendship)

I've spent over 25 years over-complicating the path to peace (Thy Kingdom Come).

And then I (re-) discovered Pearce Godwin, with whom I'll be talking this Friday (Nov 6, 2020), along with Graham Bodie. Pearce and Graham are the founder and Chief Listening Officer for the Listen First Project. They are evangelists for the simple, but profoundly compassionate and transformative act of "Listening First".

Over 325 organizations (including multiple movements, like the Focolare movement; the Compassionate Communities movement, and the #CountryOverParty movement) are:

"working together to mend our frayed social fabric by building relationships and bridging divides"

It is not as if I didn't intellectually know that listening was a foundational pillar of my stated life work ("empowering a #WiserDemocracy, to expedite a world that works for all"). Just as I know that compassion, friendship and community are foundational pillars.

3 years ago, I shared some details of my horrific childhood, in the context of my fear of silence (that space where one can listen more clearly for the still small voice that knows so much better than we do, about how to leverage our gifts in service to the Kingdom). Today, I would add "listening" and "friendship" to that context, and prioritize both.

I only mention "LISTENING" one time in that article, in the very first sentence. I don't mention "friendship" at all. Neither was central to my discussion about my vocational calling, and my profound failure to deliver on that calling. My negligence of friendship undoubtedly derives from my childhood lack of friends. I did not have a friend until 6th grade (someone who would listen to me, and who, knowing me, accepted me -- I'm quite sure that I didn't sufficiently return the favor).

For many years, I've thought that my myriad and devastating list of failures were for my lack of humility and patience, but those deficits are more foundationally related to my disinterest in, and my consequently abysmal lack of skills, in LISTENING, when the listening requires humility and patience. It is trivially easy to listen to someone who is "on my wavelength", intersecting with my passions and my Truth. I've had many 6+ hour conversations in that context, with the tiny handful of people who dovetail sufficiently.

Sadly, I've had very few second conversations, even with mission aligned visionaries, when the visionary didn't conform sufficiently to MY Truth, in relation to the path to peace (a.k.a. the Kingdom).

When I left Zurich Life (after watching Schindler's List on Easter Sunday, 1995) to dedicate myself to tackling the problem of violence, and for over 22 years thereafter, I had but one true friend.

[My wife and (still) best friend Marcia supported my vocational calling, at great cost, until she could no longer ride on my roller coaster of failures. She moved out on April 1, 2019, and I had a choice: give up 40 hours a week, to avoid homelessness, or continue with my vocational calling full time (60+ hours a week). My 7+ months in homeless shelters was perhaps the best education I've ever received, and will be the subject of another article.]

"True friend" #2 arrived on the scene, and joined Compassionate Citizens Foundation, in August, 2017. Howard Pepper, our director of ecumenical outreach, has tirelessly worked (unpaid) since then, while holding down two other jobs, for lacking the "luxury" of having no family to support.

In May, 2019, the first month of my solitude, Howard introduced me to John H Armstrong. We forged a deep and lasting friendship (#3!!) as of our first meeting, in large part because he is an amazing evangelist for friendship, but primarily because we were on the same wavelength (without me having to stretch one millimeter).

In January, 2020, LaQuisha Heath-Waheed reached out, and stretched to integrate her Christian Community Development vision with our vision of empowering 10,000 compassionate communities by 2028.

I then "met" MelindaJoy Mingo, evangelist for "Diverse Frienships" on August 18, at one of John Perkins' famous Bible Studies (one of the silver linings of the Covid 19 tragedy is my ability to remotely visit Jackson, MS every Tuesday at 8 a.m.).

Thursday, I head to Nashville for an indeterminate stay with my new friends Massood, Dina and Jonathan. Among other things, we will be planning and launching Compassionate Tennessee, a statewide incubator of compassionate communities.

Pope Francis' Oct 3 encyclical on Social Friendship is perhaps the place to wrap this up.

I've made that encyclical (and the aligned Focolare movement that focuses on "Unity, via Dialogue, in Fellowship", which is already a member of Listen First Coalition) central to the Story that we are telling.

Whether we call it "Compassionate Citizenship"; "Public Kinship" (Bobby Austin), "Weaving Social Fabric" (David Brooks), "Public Virtue" (Richard Rohr), or "Social Friendship" (Pope Francis), my life work (politically empowering the collective wisdom and compassion of ALL Americans) starts with "Listening First"

Compassionately,

Norlyn Dimmitt

Compassionate Citizens Foundation