Listened..... to my heart !

Folks... principle after principle .. theory after theory ... neither the b school libraries nor google could give me the answers on what works for me .. as a professional.. as a leader .. as someone who wants to make sense of life.. as someone in a quest to unearth the deeper meaning of my life .. someone in search of some meaningfully rewarding work. Well.. I am humble enough to admit that I really don't know what that means .. nevertheless still trying to figure out the worthiness of my calling.

Strange ... my mentor at one stage gave up n said "jeez.. I cant be your mentor ".. well... you're  too complicated"!.. he he.. understandable.. i did drive him to the wall at times ... then came my coach.. he was ruthlessly persistent and tried his best to do all he could to help me look within.. and enable me to scout for the answers myself.. unfortunate that the universe played against us.. we just couldn't make time for each other!.. finally it was my boss's turn  ... hey.. well.. in the most diplomatic manner possible .. tried to throw some light or  should I say insights of his experiential learning of the corporate world .. to infuse into me his derived logic of the way things operate out there... simple funda  like visibility, noise , presence , pulling the right strings , right connections , power play , smart maneuvering,  blowing one's trumpet .. pushing the right buttons.. oh so much ! an exhaustive laundry list of the dos & don'ts of survival ... out there ... in the power hungry , attention seeking, self projecting corporate landscape..! Yeah.. being the simple person from a small town with simple but profound value systems  .. a slight shade of gloom did set in. I asked myself a few questions ? did I make the right decision ? am I in the right place ? was it the right move ? can I survive this ? is it my cup of tea ? can I really make my way out of this maze.. and for all that's worth it.. do I really have to try so hard to make it work ?

When my reasoning went into a whirlwind of sorts, my best buddy popped out.. my heart!.. "Hey listen... for once .. just shut the logic off and listen to me !: he said .. "what's the worst that can happen ? ! 'what are you scared of ? what is easier? being who you are & being true to yourself or being someone else and losing your identity in the maddening  din ?! what do you really want ? He spoke.... my heart.. my best buddy... he spoke out loud & clear.. popped up the right questions .. at the right time.. silenced my logic .. shut off the cognitive machinery ..and in an instant turned me into a crusader.. a crusader for my own self.. my true self! He said it all.. and all I had to do .. was just listen.. listen to my heart  I did.!. with reverence.. and trust me folks.. does feel ... well.. can I say liberated?!

Shai