Listen Up!

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” - Dean Jackson

Both the music and radio businesses are based on the art of listening. Record companies seek talented musicians who write catchy, awe inspiring music that moves the masses. Music is said to be the soundtrack to life, love in search of a word, the wine that fills the cup of silence. It’s the source of incredible memories and emotions. I spent my teenage years laying on the floor with my head between my speakers hanging on every note and learning every lyric to my favorite songs. My ears were in heaven! Radio is where many popular tunes were first heard. In fact, a radio station’s main revenue driver is TSL - Time Spent Listening. The more people that listen to their station, the more they can charge for advertising. In order to garner a successful business on either side, you need people who are willing to LISTEN to what they have to offer. This applies not only in business, but more importantly in life.

The greatest gift you can give someone is to actually sit down and listen to what they have to say. We have two ears and one mouth - that means 66% listening, and 33% speaking. Since I am not a math genius, I guess the remaining 1% is thinking?? Lol.

A typical conversation in my summation looks something like this…

Person A is speaking….It sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher, blah blah blah blah blah blah

Person B is allegedly listening…I am not hearing a word they say….I am watching their mouth move but...I am plotting my response before they even speak two words…so, I can be right…and they can be wrong...so, they can know my side…so, I can get my dig in first...so, they know my beliefs...so, my needs are met...etc.

Person A - Did you hear anything I just said??

Most people are NOT listening, they're superimposing their world on top of the one speaking, so the speaker doesn’t feel heard. If you don’t really GET what the other person is saying, then you are just telling them your view of what they “should” have done. In this case you are not “getting” what they are experiencing. You’re not holding a space for them - to understand what they are going through - to get their reality. Listening to what someone says and understanding where they are coming from is where you get to relate. The #1 gift you can give is to get their reality.

Key listening skills involve paying attention, really lean in and focus on their words and their body language. Show that you are listening by holding their hand, and really looking into their eyes. Provide feedback…” So, what you are saying is…” and give their words back to them. Defer judgement - remain open and compassionate. When people feel heard, they feel appreciated and loved.

I remember Oprah saying that after 25 years on her show, everyone in the chair across from her - whether they were a celebrity or a normal person, desired just three things…. Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say matter? Two out of three involve listening…. I hope this has served you as it has for me. Afterall, it’s always an Inside-Project.

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I am going to learn I must do it by listening.” - Larry King

Lynn McDonnell here! I am a 30 year Music Industry Executive turned Life Coach and ICBCH certified Hypnotist at the Inside-Project. I converted myself from a corporate control freak to a self-employed spiritual geek. I’m a coach, a hypnotist, a paradigm shapeshifter & agent of change. Helping people transform into the best version of themselves is my jam. I’d be honored to serve you!

Phone: 818-257-0634

Website: LynnMcDonnell.com Email: [email protected]