Listen to be Heard

Effective communications are critical at this time. That, along with empathy, are identified as the two most important leadership traits needed in a crisis. When it comes to effective communications, sometimes you have to listen to be heard. How's that?

Can you imagine a more stressful role than being the person responsible for providing intelligence briefings to the President of the United States? In a recent interview, President Trump's CIA intelligence briefer Beth Sanner spoke about the pressures of her role. But this specific comment stuck out to me:

Be calm in your confidence, do your homework, and have that first briefing be where you hit the things they need from you,” she said. “Watch your audience and pivot—when they’re done, you’re done. Ultimately, it’s about listening to be heard. You have to really hear people and then adjust yourself.”  (emphasis added)

I love the imagery of this. Most would tell you that if you want to be heard, talk more, talk louder, and talk way more often. But Sanner is correct in this observation. Effective communicators listen, adjust, and pivot. And by doing so, their message is heard more effectively than those who talk more, talk louder and talk way too much.

Increase your empathy

Empathy is one of the top leadership virtues we are looking for today. In a time of unprecedented turmoil, we are looking for leaders who understand what we are going through and have the compassion to treat these challenges with humility and kindness. Empathy is not being sympathetic to their needs. Rather, it is the ability to understand the emotional makeup of those you lead.

When we speak about empathy we often use cliches like "walking their shoes" or "seeing it from their perspective". These can be useful. Personally, I love an image that I've seen with two silhouettes of heads, each a different color (let's say red and blue). The "redhead" has a blue brain in his head. The "blue head" has a red brain in his head. This idea of being able to visualize the situation thinking like the other person is a great visual.

Empathy comes naturally when we can truly understand what the other person is facing. Most often this comes through shared experiences. When we have experienced similar things as they have.

But leaders with strong empathy skills don't necessarily have to have the shared experience in order to be empathetic. They can relate because they can find examples in their past where they faced similar challenges. They tap into these feelings to help them understand and appreciate the other person's perspective.

So how does listening to be heard apply? If you listen to the other person, you will gain more clues of what is actually going on inside of them. By paying careful attention, you can assess and apply your own experiences to develop empathy for them. And, by doing so, can now respond to them with empathy in an appropriate manner.

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