Listen to The Ego. Then Ignore It

The Ego is a tricky foe. It will tie you up in knots and make you do or say the strangest things. But, for better or for worse you are stuck with it, so you are going to have to make friends with it.

You're stuck with it because the ego is the living expression of your brain's core function - to keep you alive. If you fight against your ego it will know. If you ignore e it, it will know. And it will fight back. The ego, like a child, will act up and make all sorts of mess.

The ego is not your friend, but it is not your enemy either. It is a part of you - the Me that lives inside your head. And like all parts of you, it needs to be treated with care and understanding.

There are 2 strategies that I teach my students and mentees. I will go through the first 1 in this article and then follow up in a few days with the 2nd so you have time to practice.

You're the Pilot

A sure-fire way to inspire a negative reaction from my Daughter is to ignore her. If you're not paying attention then you will know about it. The same is true for your ego - if you ignore it then it will make sure you know about it.

So what do you do? You listen and you acknowledge. Your ego is just doing its job. It's doing its best for you. The brain is keeping you alive by sending you signals to PAY ATTENTION. What are those signals called? Emotions. BUT we are in charge. We're the pilot not the plane so we get to decide whether we are going to react to the signals.

But, if we're caught up in Fear, Anxiety, or Anger (we misinterpret the signal as us) then we will not think strategically. We will not go neutral and give ourselves the opportunity to react consciously.

The key then is to lessen the impact and the severity of the emotional signal so we can go neutral, assess, and think strategically.

Name It. Tame It

Like my daughter, the ego wants to be paid attention to. Quite right. We do this by naming the emotion. We can do this in our head by recognizing the feeling and then thinking "I am ANGRY". We can even say it out loud.

The Navy Seals teach this. It works. It's been tested in a lab and under fire.

Practice it. Religiously. Every time you feel an emotion, name it. "I am feeling ANGRY now". It will lessen the intensity and you will be able to go neutral more easily.

And that's it for now. If you want to find out more about this technique go read Sean Webb, Mind Hacking Happiness 1.

In my next article, I'll teach you how to further the effect of Name It/ Tame It using an insanely simple bit of word trickery.

At the Council for Human Development, we practice Cognitive Change Therapy. We use a variety of techniques to help people master their brains, master their emotions, and master their minds.

We offer one-on-one coaching as well as group workshops.?Click here?to book on to a free master class.