LISTEN

Give an ear

“I have better scores than her”, said Raghu in complaining tone. “I’m a good communicator and always better than her and still I was overlooked for the position”, said Raghu. Raghu was being considered for a leadership role for the past few months. However, now, Ragini, Raghu’s batchmate in management, was bestowed with the leadership role.

Raghu was a brilliant student all through his academic career. Raghu, passed out of a top management institute with distinction. His father, Mr. Venugopal who is my uncle, was a professor of Operations Management in the same institute. Raghu and Ragini both were his students. Venu uncle was exceptional not just in his subject but had in depth knowledge in almost all branches of management, That made him unique. Raghu always sought the guidance of his father.

I was on a family visit to my uncle’s house and happened to be an audience to the father and son discussion.

“I have decided to quit”, continued Raghu. I could feel his anguish. He was hurt, “without knowing what went wrong and how to improve?”, asked Venu uncle. “What is there to know, they favored her”, said Raghu curtly. “No. They were right”, said Venu uncle. I was shocked and so was Raghu. We couldn’t digest it. He was supporting Ragini over Raghu. “Now, you guys must be thinking that I am not supporting my own son and what sort of a father am I?”, said Venu uncle. It is true, I thought to myself. Which father does it, I thought.

“Listening dispassionately is the virtue of a good leader”, said Venu uncle.” Ragini is a person of few words, but she is an aggressive listener. She crafted herself and her career with all the lessons learnt from feedback”, said uncle. “Don’t I listen?”, questioned Raghu. “There you go Raghu”, said Uncle. “You want to win, she wants to learn and that’s the difference “, said Uncle. It reminded me of reading Ryan Holiday’s mention about student mindset in his book.

“You don’t have to win at everything Raghu. Learn from everything. The crown will follow you”, said Venu Uncle. I stayed back at uncle’s house that night. I had a long discussion with Raghu that night. Raghu could see the perspective of Venu uncle. He was more relaxed the next day. Within a short span Raghu rose in ranks and was placed to start and lead the branch of his firm in Australia. He is now considered an authority on leadership.?The discussion with his father and the resultant learning has transformed Raghu in to a great leader.

The things I learnt from that night’s discussion are:

1. Be an effective listener. Be unbiased. Listen to understand and learn. As remarked by Larry King, CNN “I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening”, effective listening bestows us with a chance of learning.

2. Equanimity. Be balanced in success and failure. Practice mindfulness, calmness and composure, especially in a difficult situation. Never lose your temper.?“It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity”, said Carl Jung.

3. Learn. HBR says “Best leaders are the best learners”. Don’t miss the lesson even when you lose. Be openminded. Learn, alike, from good and bad experiences. The old man’s word says, “knowledge is power”.

4. Feedback. Seek feedback. Analyze and learn from it. Focus on self-improvement.

5. Master your emotions. “The key to success is emotional stability” opined Warren Buffet’. Look for positives even in setbacks. Shun negativity to become attractive. ?

“Listening is an art that requires attention over?talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” ?????-Dean Jackson. Listen to be a better leader.