List of Things You Should Never Do When Applying For Jobs

Having been a freelancer, let me make one thing clear?—?it is NOT easy to land a good job/project. In the last twelve years, I have done all kinds of writing to keep myself afloat — from penning 50 word ads for $5 to writing entire theses for Rs. 5000. I have sold myself short, pitched myself super insanely high, landed great opportunities and missed amazing ones, in hindsight. 

And all the while, I made more mistakes than not, giving me the unique position to guide you on the complete list of things you should never do when applying for jobs.

DO NOT Cut-Copy-Paste Cover Letters, EVER

It is easier said than done. There may be about 146 places you need to apply before you land one decent paying job that does not treat you like a minion. But whatever may be the case, your cover letters need to be unique. Even if the core of it is the same everywhere, ensure that you make necessary edits to your spiel to suit each company. 

Recently, in my monitor-induced-daze after applying to said 146 companies, I ended up applying to Company B with a letter requesting a job at Company A, only to get the following reply from the Publisher & Edior-in-Chief : “Hi Sandhya, you have mailed the wrong email id. We are Company B, not Company A.”

Don't be me. Avoid such embarrassments! 

DO NOT Give Up! 

So, I screwed up. What now? This is what I sent: 

“Hi Mr. X, I am extremely sorry for my carelessness. I was applying to both A as well as B, and I have been caught in the act! I hope you can overlook this rookie mistake and consider my application.”

I am not saying this is the best way of applying, but this is definitely a way of saving yourself from the embarrassment. No, I haven’t heard from Mr.X yet, but I hope he at least smiled before he sent my application to the bin. 

When applying, follow-up is crucial. If you are keen on a company, keep mailing them. NOT like a stalker, but with gentle reminders (this article tells you how). Sometimes, even if there are no openings mentioned on a company careers page, it is alright to express interest in joining their ranks. Why? Your resume is now in their database and you have an advantage of getting called first. (Let’s just hope their HR is that good!) This kind of cold emailing works purely on the fact that you have displayed a passion to work at an organisation even before there was a vacancy. 

I have been doing this for twelve years now. And hey, I can afford a life in Bombay. Isn't that good enough?

DO NOT sell yourself short

You know that guy in your office who is a moron but is taking fat pay checks home? Yes, him. We all know he knows next to nothing. Why is he part of the top-brass? He is smart. He sold himself well (no pun intended!). 

What he did was what YOU failed to do. He decided to play up his (non-existent) skills instead of being humble about them. Humility is all well amongst family and friends, but when it comes to jobs, smartness is all that matters. 

Why do we always project ourselves as bumbling little no-shows? If you made a video out of your fancy Thailand trip, show it off as a ‘travel video series’ that you have begun. Are you the one clicking pictures of every meal anybody even thinksof having around you, then ‘food photography’ is one of your hobbies. The world is very welcoming to a multiply skilled workforce today. 

If that guy in your office can land a great job by knowing zilch, you surely can do well with your proven few talents. All you have to do is put them together well, and weave a good narrative. 

DO NOT be Boring

Aren’t you the one always cracking everybody up with weird jokes? And you?—?you are the brilliant writer, eh? (I do a mean Gollum impersonation, by the way!) So why are these aspects not coming through in your application? Why does it sound like the same old rehashed Bollywood song? 

Be original. The era of resumes died with Veerappan! Send links to your Linkedin Profile instead. Make cover letters succinct. Suggest values you can bring to the plate. Talk about what you are as a person, what you like doing and how you will channel these into the company. EVERYBODY is looking for someone vibrant?—?whether as a graphic designer, content writer, production manager, or one of those RubyRails-Python experts that always have sooooo many job openings.

DO NOT be Lazy

We all get afflicted by this disease often. With the sun beating down on our heads like we are a big drum kit, it is hard not to loll about. But as the cliché goes, ‘you snooze, you lose’. 

Put together a good portfolio of works, make a list of companies you would love to work for, find friends/friends of friends who can help you get an interview, mail/call and get into the 'doer-mode'. 

If you are bored of this mythical rat race that everyone is running (like I am), then simply freelance or start something on your own. Better yet, off you go to the mountains and be one with nature. Whatever it is, stop dreaming and start doing. It was the right time four years and twenty five days ago!

DO NOT assume

We never asked out that dreamboat because we ‘assumed’ he/she would say “NO way”. We never did the things we wanted to do because we kept making those assumptions all life long. STOP! 

Give things a shot. At most, you will get rejected. And it is not even going to be as bad as your first scraped knee when you fell off your bike while learning to cycle. It is simply an email rejection (or snail mail if the company is old-fashioned. If they are tell me, I LOVE old-fashioned. Ok, I will stop!). Rejections can be tick-marked, sent to trash and deleted from trash; making it as good as never receiving a rejection. So, what are you fretting about? 

DO NOT EVER Stop Dreaming Big!

A couple of years ago, I sent a question out to the void: Will you hire me? I was desperately looking for a change; I wanted meaning in my life. The post did not do great, but I received a few emails asking if I could work as a freelancer with them. Nothing major happened. In fact, the job I landed up with right after that post turned out to be quite irrelevant to my profile and I suffered a living hell.

But a year later, things changed. I took the dramatic decision of leaving the corporate world and somehow wound up living the exact life that I had described I wanted (go read the post). I had miraculously set a series of things in motion by simply stating what I wanted which then made my dream come true. For a year, I lived this dream. I am back to hustling for a job, but I am more confident than ever that I will find something. Why? I trust that I have the ability to make it happen. 

DO NOT be afraid

There is nothing to fear. IF you are reading this post, I am sure that you have at least a moderate amount of money to afford an internet connection/data pack. That will help you survive for a while. Keep looking. The search is endless, believe it or not, thanks to startups cropping up dime-a-dozen. Do not restrict yourself to geography- many companies offer remote jobs.

The search may be long, and hard. Losing hope is definitely not going to get you a job but trying will.

Finally, DO NOT forget the saying: fall, and the net shall appear. It ALWAYS does, sooner or just in the nick of time!