The Lioness in Me Breaking Free

This is a topic I never even considered sharing. But here we go. I was a football player, quite a good one. With my team, we won many Championships in Finland and we were also successful in tournaments abroad. So why not share this story? The thing is that when I have closed a door, it has been the end of that chapter. But now I'm stretching and re-opening this part of my history

Recently England's Lioness football team won the Euro 22 Championship, in the country with the roots of football as it is played today. Celebrating the victory, my UK colleague and friend Animah Kosai challenged me. "Why don't you post something, you are the Finnish Champion", she said. And I promised to do so, even write an article. This one.

How did it all begin?

My father was a fanatic football player, really all-in. I am told that I was only a 2-week-old baby witnessing the first game as he was playing as the captain. Ever since. he sometimes took me with him and I was a frequent mascot in the men's locker room in my early years. The smell of 'tiger balsam', is still something I can smell when thinking back. At the age of 2, I got a football from my dad for Christmas, my favorite gift, some family members were disappointed that I didn't open the other Christmas gifts until later, as I was so fascinated with the ball. From the age of 6, I started playing with boys during many summer holidays at my grandma's. And when my parents divorced when I was six, football became the connection to my dad.

The Lioness in action

There were no girl's teams in those days in Finland, so when I finally decided to join a team at the age of 12, it was one of the women's teams in Helsinki. I still remember that I scored already in my second game. And ever since I loved to be the forward who could help the team win. At 14 years, I scored once 10 goals and we won 11-0. That was a strange game and something to remember, especially as my mom was watching - and that only happened a few times during the 15 years I played.

At 16 I was invited to play in the nr 1 team in Finland, and we won the double championship that same year. That autumn we got an invitation to play in Taiwan in an international tournament. Women's football was very popular back then in Asia, we had 10.000+ spectators in the final against the Taiwanese team and it was broadcasted also to neighboring countries with around million TV viewers. Playing as the center-forward I got hit by their goalkeeper's knee, limping out with a swollen leg. It was huge to take in as a female player that women's football was so popular there, how was that possible? That trip was so important on many levels, and I'm very grateful for those memories. That trip definitely ignited the world traveler in me.

Time to focus

As I'm writing this article about that injury, I went to search for a book from those times. I still have no clue where it is. And what happens, I had a small accident, ending up with a painful, swollen big toe. This reminds me of the smaller and bigger injuries of those years. I broke my back at the age of 17 when my trainers wanted us to test how much weight we can lift, I also got a broken ankle in a game a few years later. But I always bounced back and played better than before. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones, not many incidents and I never needed surgery.

15 years later I was visiting the football arenas again, this time as a mom, my daughter chose to play as goal-keeper besides being very talented in handball. The goalkeeper is the toughest position in the field, in my opinion, as any mistake is visible and can be decisive for the game. I admire my daughter's calmness, as from early age she was very dedicated and focused and she grew into a valuable player, something that has served her well in her career, too.

What football taught me about leadership and teams

Even as a center-forward I was a bit of a loner. But I also was a kind, considerate player. Maybe this is because I did not want to copy my father as the aggressive player he was, so I did the opposite. I'm still wondering how I managed not to get any yellow cards in all those years. And I got the fair player award in a few tournaments.

Team sports are great for growing as a person. It's also about leadership and role setting from a trainer's point of view and about self-leadership as a player. The trainer needs to figure out how to get the best out of a certain group of players. My best years were those when I had a trainer that both motivated and trusted me. I thrived as a player when I was not bossed around nor put down for any mistakes, and feedback was important. As a respected team member, I could focus on what I really enjoyed, scoring or assisting a teammate in doing that. Actually, I have played in every position on the field, also as the goal-keeper. In one game I was the goalie for the first half, keeping the zero and in the next half scoring our winning goal. Each position demands certain qualities for you to thrive. I loved most playing as a center-forward or left-wing (being left-footed but right-handed). What an adrenalin boost when passing a defender and creating opportunities for my team and when scoring.

I still remember a tactical thing one of the best trainers did. He had all key players start on the bench at some games, to give that experience and to let other players get some more game time. I was the last to sit on the bench and I was very upset about it. He shared his philosophy about it and I got it. He said that he knew it would be hardest for me not to play, so I was the last to sit on the bench. Talk about role-modeling on how to be an Authentic Leader, as he showed up genuinely, leading from both heart and head.

Football was definitely one of the themes that gave me self-confidence. In my career as a manager, I could apply so many of the learnings - how to motivate my team and how to appreciate and put to use different strengths of others, just to mention a few.

The best lessons you sometimes get when you lose, like in this Cup-final. Not many happy faces. I'm in the back row, 5th from the left.

Letting go

I stopped playing when I was at my best. I still think it was the right thing to do. I had earlier met this wonderful man that I married the year after quitting football and started a family with him. And guess what - he was all-in about football, a top referee, and then the head of the referee training and mentoring programs for the National Football Federation in Finland. Maybe another personal story to share. I met Ari in a University football tournament, I was playing and he was the referee. He later shared that he knew already then that I was the one for him. Well, it took me a few years more to get there. To end that story short, just saying we were happily married for more than two decades and got two amazing children Robin and Veronica. And just when they were adults he passed away tragically. But his legacy still lives on. Letting go is a big lesson for anyone, and I have done quite some.

Well, this was a very personal story that not many know about me. I want to acknowledge my best friend, business coach El?bieta ?yrek for being the wise mirror for me. She encouraged me to integrate my many identities. And as part of this healing journey - to become fully all that I am. The footballer's identity is one of them.

My signature system is The Authentic Leader's Journey and this article is one way to walk my talk. And as I finish this article, my toe starts to feel so much better. Maybe it got hurt so that I would stay still and finish this article? Life is giving me so many blessings, and now I'm grateful also for you reading this story.

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