LinkedIn Service Requests: A Dumpster Fire Wrapped in a Polaroid From 2007
Chris Dancy
World's Most Connected Person. Seriously, just google "Most Connected", or ask ChatGPT, Who is 'Chris Dancy'
Ah, LinkedIn, the illustrious kingdom of humblebrags and outdated headshots. As if the platform wasn’t already a snake pit of corporate peacocks and “inspirational” drivel, along comes Service Requests, the latest attempt to turn LinkedIn into Craigslist 2.0—but somehow even sketchier.
Why Is This a Thing?
Did the LinkedIn gods think, “Hey, you know what this platform needs? A way to get MORE spammy, scammy, unsolicited DMs!” Because congratulations, they nailed it. Service Requests is like handing a megaphone to every digital snake oil salesman and Fiverr knockoff hustler lurking in the shadows.
Instead of real leads, you’re bombarded with messages like:
? “Hi, dear respected Sir/Madam, I can offer you crypto mining solutions for half the cost!”
? Or the classic “Increase your engagement by buying 10K fake likes on LinkedIn!”
? And let’s not forget “I saw your profile and feel you would benefit from our proprietary synergy platform,” which is basically code for “We don’t even know what we’re selling, but please buy it anyway!”
It’s the Wild West of Cringe
Here’s the kicker: half the people sliding into your inbox with “requests” haven’t updated their profiles since the Bush administration. Their profile photos are either:
1. Polaroids from their cousin’s wedding with the telltale flash glare on their forehead.
2. Low-res, sepia-tone selfies that scream “I Googled ‘professional headshot’ and gave up halfway.”
3. Or worse, no photo at all—just that faceless, soulless avatar that makes you wonder if you’re chatting with a bot from 2012.
Death by Self-Promotion
LinkedIn’s Service Requests were supposed to be a way to showcase real skills, but instead, it’s become a stage for people shouting into the void:
? CEOs of imaginary companies trying to “partner” with you.
? Freelancers offering “value-added” services that you wouldn’t trust to touch your inbox, let alone your brand.
? And, of course, the MLM warriors sliding into your DMs like, “Hi Chris, I hope this finds you well! Have you ever thought about being your own boss?”
Why It’s the Worst Feature Yet
LinkedIn wasn’t exactly winning hearts before this, but Service Requests officially makes the platform feel like:
1. A cringefest of self-promotion where everyone’s pretending to be busier than they are.
2. A scammer’s paradise, turning what little trust LinkedIn had left into rubble.
3. A networking dead zone, because now, instead of genuine connections, you’re wading through a tsunami of desperation and spam.
The Takeaway
Service Requests is just another nail in LinkedIn’s coffin—a feature designed to “connect” but really just another way to choke the feed with noise. LinkedIn used to be about professionals supporting professionals. Now? It’s a carnival of grifters, fake gurus, and people who somehow think “thought leader” is a real job title.
So here’s to you, LinkedIn: may your Service Requests feature serve as a lesson in how not to build a network.
The description of humblebragging and peacock preening hits it. In my recent job hunt I started to really see the LI zeitgeist more clearly than before; as an anxious space where desperation is sold as a twitchy invigorated self-confidence that no one really feels, yet it feels bad if you don't feel that way, too...peppered with AI-generated lists of self-evident nostrums about success and team leading and innovation. As fake accounts would DM me with nonsense pitches I started baiting then with ever-more surreal replies...then posting the results as screen shots here in LI. Ergo: my most satisfying personal contributions to this medium are my mockery of the mockery this medium has become.
Recent graduate of UNLV Cybersecurity Masters Program! Extremely motivated to bring my expertise in Statistical Analysis to your field
3 个月Love this
Connecting the IT community by listening and sharing everything! Ticket Volume Podcast Host and Product Marketing Geek at InvGate
3 个月I love that you posted this here. This platform is really bringing out the worst in us. Methinks there is a design mismatch since it was acquired. Saving this one to remind myself!
I shake my head when a LI connection braggs about reaching a milestone of a certain number of followers and get 3 likes and possibly a "congrats" post. Where can I go to get real interactions?