LinkedIn: The Golden Sales Opportunity Channel (To Irritate)

LinkedIn—the virtual free-for-all watering hole where professionals gather to exchange business cards, flex their achievements, and occasionally engage in a passive-aggressive battle of wits. All with a divine mission to become millionaires this time next year. Or is it?

Lets dive headfirst into the abyss of irritable salesmen LinkedIn habits:

1. The Connection Request Roulette: Picture this: You’re minding your own business, sipping your morning coffee, when suddenly—bam!—a connection request from a stranger who noticed that you have common connections and wants to be your BFF. Oh yes, I've been searching far and wide for a best friend I've never met before! For me it's more of a FFS than yes - let's be BFFS. Explain why you want to connect, or risk being tossed into the abyss of ignored invitations.

2. The Unsolicited Pitch Parade: Ding dong! Who’s there? Oh, just another salesperson barging in with a pitch so aggressive it could scare hangry polar bears in the middle of the artic icecap melt. Listen mate, if I wanted a timeshare in North Pole, I’d ask. Instead, observe, learn, and maybe—just maybe—offer something relevant after a courtship longer than a Kardashian marriage.

3. The Stalker Syndrome: Cue ominous music. You’ve connected with someone. What’s next? Oh, obviously, comb through their entire digital existence like a cyber Sherlock. Mention their high school prom dress, their first job company name, or their secret love for Strictly Come Dancing. Nothing says “trustworthy professional” like creeping out your prospects. Be sensible. One thing is being informed, the other is making them scared sh!tless.

4. The Buzzword Bingo Bonanza: “Innovative synergies leveraging disruptive paradigms in order to maximise value-added propositions in a rapidly evolving marketplace.” Translation: You’re full of it. Buzzwords are the glitter of LinkedIn—pretty but ultimately useless. Instead, be authentic. Talk like a human, not a corporate buzz-bot. Unless you’re an actual robot, in which case, carry on.

5. The InMail Catastrophe: “Hi, I’m Bob from Bob’s Widgets. Our widgets will change your life with our long term widgety partnership proposal. Call me now!” Bob mate, slow down for widgets sake. InMails are like first dates—don’t propose marriage before appetizers. Build rapport. Share cat memes. Then, maybe, slide in a subtle “Hey sweetie, our next widget might have your name on it”.

6. The Magic Show: Abracadabra! Behold my magical disappearing act—I vanish after connecting! Helloooooo.... Seriously people, engage. Comment on posts, share insights, and prove you’re more than a digital ghost haunting my feed. Otherwise, poof! You’re gone.

7. The Auto-Responder Bot: “Thank you for connecting! I’d love to tell you about our AI-powered, blockchain-enhanced, gluten-free CRM solution.” Yawn. If your message sounds like it was spat out by a malfunctioning robot, chances are I’ll mute you faster than a telemarketer during dinner.

8. The Drama Queen (or King): “I’m leaving LinkedIn forever! This platform is dead to me!” Cue the violins. Drama is for reality TV not professional networking site. If you’re unhappy, exit quietly. No need for a Shakespearean soliloquy. No one will miss you anyway.

9. The Flame Wars: “Your opinion is trash, and your presidential candidate is ugly.” Ah, the sweet scent of keyboard warriors duking it out. LinkedIn isn’t Twitter. Keep your debates civil. Remember, we’re here to network, not ignite dumpster fires.

10. The Endorsement Extortion: “Endorse my skills, and I’ll endorse yours!” It’s like a shady back-alley deal. Endorsements should be genuine, not currency for LinkedIn favours. If you’re endorsing my “Quantum Basket Weaving” skills, we both know it’s a sham.

So...

The way forward is to elevate your LinkedIn game. Be human, be helpful, and for the love of all things professional, stop sending unsolicited sales pitch messages, links, gifs, jpges and pdfs.

Better still, join me at one of my forthcoming webinars where I will cover it all in much more detail?and help you create your own winning Social Selling and Lead Generation presence.

REGISTER HERE: https://lnkd.in/djNd_kj9

#SocialSelling #LinkedIn #LeadGeneration #DenisZ