LinkedIn Goes Back To The Future

Marty McFly logs into his LinkedIn account. Notifications:

Biff Sent You A Message

Biff Commented on his video

Biff Has a New Poll

"Why did I connect with him? It seemed like a good idea at the time. Some guy who went to school with my dad started a business and on this site he became a "Solopreneur." Even when he posted that he interviewed a pregnant woman and gave her the job. He is more interested in likes and shares than cultivating relationships."

At this point the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Marty!"

"Doc, is that you? Glad to see you are doing well."

"I am not doing as well as I should. It appears we have to go back."

"Back? Doc, I'm a family man now. I made the future a good one like you suggested. Thank you for that. Why do you need me?

"Because you are connected to Biff. Why would you do such a thing?"

"Doc, I don't know. I felt sorry for him and he's pretty old. I figured he would retire."

"Marty, if only it were that simple. See- Biff took advantage of social media to sound more important than he is. He called himself a "Solopreneur" and started quoting himself in memes."

"So what? My father always said he acted more important than he was."

"Well, your father might have put him in his place. That had no bearing on the videos he made. He called himself a content creator, a bunch of people shared his videos, thinking it was authentic that he referred to people as buttheads and now????? He's killing it."

"Come on Doc. No one believes that his message is any good."

"Great Scott! It doesn't matter what they believe. They engage and now??? He's a LinkedIn Top Voice."

"That's a popularity contest. No one cares about that."

"They may not. I went a little further ahead."

"Do they find a vaccine?"

"Science has fallen by the wayside in this society. That breaks my heart since I am a man of science and want to better society. Religious groups think I am some sort of heretic."

"So, is that why we have to go back? What, are we going to stop Roger Ailes from creating Fox News?"

"Doc Brown stops to think. "That might be a good idea and would save many women from harassment. For now we have to go back and save LinkedIn Groups."

"Those aren't even around anymore."

"No, they are around. They are echo chambers without engagement. We have to save this site."

"Why?"

"Because in 2021 Biff discovers Bitcoin and scams many of his followers."

"Wow, this is heavy. I'll meet you tonight. Do you still have the Delorean?"

"I have another one. You won't know the difference. Meet me at the Lone Pine Mall. At this point we could go in broad daylight because the parking lot is empty."

"Maybe we should go back and tax Jeff Bezos."

"Marty, stick to the matter at hand. I'll see you tonight as we return to 2015."

"I have spent more time there than any other year. Where are the hover boards?"

"Not in this iteration."

The scene switches to The Lone Pine Mall. Marty pulls up to a familiar area.

"Doc, it's good to see you, High school never ends."

"Indeed it does not. Life has many similarities. We are not doing the same thing the first time. We are experienced and know better what to do."

"If you say so, Doc. Why are we returning to 2015?"

"Because that was the Golden Age of LinkedIn groups."

"I didn't open an account until 2016."

"Then you have no idea how there was an exchange of ideas with professionals working towards the betterment of society and self. That is exactly what I aspired to and there were many articles on a wide array of subjects. Fasten your seat belt and I'll explain when we arrive."

"We're here. October 26, 2015."

"Doc, it's always October 26."

"That's arbitrary. The area is going to look the same since we only went back five years. Do you have the mobile App?"

"Yes, Doc. Does this mean I have a new phone again?"

"Your generation always wants the latest and the newest of everything. Please log in and tell me what your notifications say."

"Alright. I have sixteen notifications. Hey, you requested to connect. I shall accept."

"You did before. Now check the top of your feed."

"Hey, you wrote an article on Quantum Physics. It was liked by Debesh Choudhury, Milos Djukic and Jeffrey Strickland. Who are they?"

"Scientists and they run a group called The Unfluencers. They responded to comments, engaged and cultivated a dialogue along the lines of mutual respect."

"Sounds like the kind of professionals I want to meet. The ones on my job are nice and so boring."

"Marty, if you want boring; wait until video takes over. The comments are no longer from the heart and generic "Great job" comments spread a vapid message. That is how Biff grew his following."

"Why should I care? Is he going to hit on my mother again?"

"In his convoluted mind he sees your mother as the girl who got away."

"Doc, she told me she escaped."

"We have to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone again. Check to see if there are comments."

"Let's see- you have eighteen comments. Marietta Gentles Crawford? I love her writing."

"She does very well. It is nice when others send comments that create different conversations. It's a revolution of the mind."

"It may very well be, Doc. How does this help anything? What are we going to do?"

"Marty, look up there. What do you see?"

Marty looks to the horizon. "I see a power plant. What is in there?"

"Marty- that houses the most dastardly force of them all. The LinkedIn algorithm. We have to shut it down and render it useless because it will keep changing causing a disastrous chain of events leading to hashtags about #LinkedInisnotFacebook."

"Groups on Facebook are still alive. Do we have to shut it down at an exact point? Will there be a bolt of lightning?"

"No. All we have to do is flip the switch and render it useless."

"Let's go. Where is the switch?"

"It should be- Eureka! there it is!"

"Doc, aren't you worried about how this will affect the future?"

"Marty, do you want to endure another LinkedIn Live and more crummy polls?"

This inspires Marty to flip the switch. "Some problems have easy solutions. Is our work done here?"

"I believe so. Let's go back to 2020."

"Doc, I can't imagine anyone would want to relive that year."

"Take it one day at a time. Even if tomorrow is yesterday you have to maximize the moment wherever you are."

"We're back. Marty, do you have notifications?"

"Yes. Hey, Emerald Bixby has published a new article."

"What she lacks in quantity she makes up for in quality. I see a comment from Biff. It looks like he totaled his car."

"Did he crash into another manure truck?"

"I never see manure trucks except when Biff is around. His headline says nothing about being a Top Voice and the post is "I went from a solopreneur to solo manure. I hate manure!"

"Makes you wonder why he would take a selfie in such a position. Marty, I want to thank you for giving this old man purpose. I see many people out and about." Doc Brown approaches a family walking past.

"Excuse me. Shouldn't you be social distancing? Aren't you supposed to wear masks?"

"Social distancing? What's that? The children will wear masks at Halloween. Can you believe the stores already have Halloween decoration up? It seems early."

It certainly does. Sorry to bother you and I hope you have a nice day." They part company and Marty has a revelation.

"Doc, we make LinkedIn Groups relevant and the coronavirus doesn't exist? It must have been caused by-----

The Algorithm!

Great Scott. Well Marty, sometimes when you solve one problem other issues are resolved as well. We need to keep up the good work and I shall get back to writing. At least now I know that it will not fall on deaf ears.

THE END