"LinkedIn-Gate" Wrap-Up: Good, Bad, Victim-Shaming Ugly, and Why It Mattered

In case you missed it: recently, I was the recipient of some serious vitriol after sharing a Dilbert comic on LinkedIn. In lieu of directly engaging, I chose to use it as a sociological study (in as much as an English major-turned-analytics-geek can do), and published a story on the experience as an example of the bullying many experience online.

The response to the story has been almost as “interesting”, from a cultural research perspective, as the experience. Here's why it's worth studying.

Women account for ~78% of the labor force in healthcare and social assistance but only ~14% of executive officers and ~12% of board directors. Female CEOs are rarer than pandas.

In medicine, women represent ~34% of all physicians and surgeons but only ~16 percent of medical school deans.

Women hold only ~9% of management positions in information technology, and account for only ~14% of senior management positions at Silicon Valley startups.

According to the World Economic Forum’s 2015 Global Gender Gap Report, it will take over 100 years for women to overcome the wage gap.

We’ve only got 100 years to live. Together, we can accelerate gender equity attainment.

But equity can’t happen if women are silenced.

Here are the particulars: key “LinkedIn-Gate” response themes and my take.

“There was an apology. Why don’t you get over it, already?” (With the implication being that I should remove the story and any reference to it.)

I understand that’s true; there was an apology. And I’m thankful for that. However, the experience in its entirety presents a teachable moment, and the story will stand as-is. The cat is out of the bag.

“By posting this (without anonymizing), aren’t you being a bully, yourself?”

I struggled with this; it is a valid question. In the end, I decided that, as the events unfolded in a public forum without any expectation of privacy, and my retelling did not embellish or alter the exchanges in any way, I was only presenting information that was already available for everyone to see?—?it’s just that no one was looking. Which is how bullies are able to bully.

Although many who’ve shared or commented on the story have directly referenced the individuals involved, I haven’t. The lesson isn’t about any one individual. It’s about a phenomenon that any one of us could experience?—?or could recognize, and intervene.

“You’re using this experience for your own personal gain.”

I’m not exactly sure what this is supposed to mean, but it was stated several times. I gained LinkedIn followers as a result of all the activity. But it’s just as likely that I lost important, influential followers. In exposing the event as widely as I did, I may very well have burned a few professional bridges in an extremely small and tight-knit industry community. As I said about those who might eschew me for my footwear choice: onward and upward.

I find this type of statement to be victim-shaming. Imagine if your daughter, wife, or mother received such a tirade, in front of thousands. Tell me what “personal gain” you believe they’d receive from the experience.

You know what, though? It’s not incorrect. I personally gained the respect of many of my peers and contacts, as well as gaining my daughter an example of behavior she need not tolerate as the price of admission for having a voice. I gained back a little piece of myself I lost as a bullied child. I’ll take those gains.

“Good job. Thank you.”

I’m incredibly grateful for those who supported me in both the original onslaught as well as in the aftermath. You sat next to me on my “Buddy Bench” and didn’t let me feel alone. I have an amazing tribe. THANK YOU.

Originally posted on Medium here.