Lingual fluidity

Lately, it has come to my attention that people indicate their position on the gender fluidity scale in their private and/or professional e-mail address. Next to their name, there’s for example a (she/her) specification to emphasize we’re communicating with a cis woman. In the newspaper De Standaard of August 27, journalist Filip Tielens came to the same conclusion. But, oh surprise, the Taalunie (a knowledge center for the Dutch/Flemish language) was not conclusive on pinpointing the official gender neutral pronouns to use. For now, anything goes. For Flanders, 'die' is more popular than the Dutch 'hen'. Hen sounds really bizar as it also refers to a female chicken. Anyway, lot's of things I don't understand but that shouldn't be a surprise either. The 'cis' position weighs heavy on my shoulders.

As a 50+ cis man – you know, the late male boomer generation mostly blamed for about any problem going on in the world today – I wandered how that would go in English, communicating with a non-binary person. First conclusion: all languages suffer the same inconclusiveness regarding the neopronouns. As a hobby writer, I’m writing a manuscript with a non-binary character and I noticed how damn difficult it is to get it right. In my head, per’s female and so, I made mistakes over and over again until a point where I decided to give per/hir/ver - how on Earth do I get this right? - a smaller role in the story. Yes, once again a discriminative action of the 50+ cis male. In my defense, no lack of respect, only lack of lingual finesse.

Do we enter an era where biological and social evolution might go their separate ways? Then again, I find it important to show respect for one’s gender fluidity. I really do. But looking at the new English grammar, I fell into a panic. The overview above was provided by the LGBTQ+ Resource Center of Milwaukee. Talking directly to non-binary people is somewhat safe. It’s all about you, your, yours… But I challenge you to tell a story about a non-binary couple who got into a quarrel during shopping. Good luck with that!

?Language supported human beings during their evolution and there’s no reason to stop now. But while we flush 200 million years of mammal binarity down the drain, can we at least get some slack adopting to the new way of talking to people in less than half a generation?

?My point to make: In a multicultural environment with origin melting pots and so, mother tongues, it’s extremely challenging to add series of pronouns to support new positions on the gender fluidity scale. We are bound to make mistakes and I guess – no, I hope - for most non-binary people, that’ll be OK. They probably mix it up just the same. For sure, there will be practical problems for people communicating in an international environment.

In how many languages do we have to indicate our gender position? We cannot assume the whole world will accept the English version and understand what it means to be a Sam (xe/xem).

Unfortunately, with every new social evolution, we see front runner’s extremism making the adoption more difficult. Admit, we face an ‘Amazon’ generation used to get anything right here, right now… even new pronouns institutionalized in a heart beat. It gives momentum to majority resistance. Notice how the word ‘woke’ has evolved. The initial meaning has turned into an expression of mockery by people who resent the idea and usually, put up two times two fingers to “quote” the word and pull an ugly face. Hence, there’s still a long way to go... for everybody.

For now, one rule: you doubt, you ask. There nothing wrong with showing genuine interest and the willingness to do right.

So, before this 50+ cis man gets arrested by the woke police, I bring a message to non-binary people, a notably rapid growing group. Please do not doubt the good intentions of the cis community prematurely. We can never stand in your shoes. Give us time. Ignorance is not the same as intolerance and slow adoption is not the same as xenophobia.

Yours truly,

Peter (hij/hem; he/him; il/lui;...)