A line that changed my life forever!

If you constantly find yourself staring in the mirror every morning wondering "Chal kya raha hai?" don't worry, I was there too!

It's easy to find yourself confused, demotivated, and out of place when things change around you faster than you can cope up with it. My college to corporate transition was no different. Half the things I didn't understand, the other half that was even remotely my zone was filled with competition.

• People around me were doing better than me (or maybe they were pretending) - I felt demotivated
• People around me were getting promoted - I felt demotivated
• People around me gave me all sorts of gyan, yet nothing worked for me - I felt demotivated

Every morning I woke up, stood in front of the mirror, and wondered, "Dude, I'm getting ready for a job I suck at and spend 9-10 hours of my day with people I don't like. Do I even want to go to work?" Then I'd read the resignation letter I had typed in my phone's notes and promise myself, "I'll do it today!" Soon after this morning charade of quitting, reality would strike hard and force me to head to work. "Beta job nai rahegi toh loan kaise bharega? Ghar ke kaagaz diye the security ke liye. Chup chap phone jeb me rakh aur smile ke sath kaam pe nikal."

So here's my normal day at work (back when physical offices were a thing) - Reach office 5-mins before, punch-in, go to my desk, dig my head into the desktop, suddenly hear 'somebody did something nice', clap with a fake smile, get back to my work, eat lunch by myself, grab a smoke and scroll through 9Gag, get back to work, complete 9-hours and punch-out. That was literally my day, every day. Never spoke much with others outside of work. Not because I'm an introvert, but because I was intimidated by others. I was living in the constant fear of being judged.

One day I got called into my manager's cabin. He sent me a calendar invite titled "Performance Evaluation". I knew what was going to happen. I was sure I'd be put into a performance improvement program. But the question was even if I'm put into PIP, how is that going to help me improve my performance? "Sirf stress badega, performance nai". I thought before they give me an ultimatum, I'll send them my resignation and walk out with dignity. But something struck me (I don't know what) and I decided to wait until the discussion. Maybe when they put me into PIP they'll give me some special training and things will magically turn around (I secretly hoped).

I went towards the meeting room, took my notepad, a pen (you know pretending to note down "important stuff"), I knocked and my manager asked me to come in and take a seat. We were silent for 2 whole minutes and then he asked me, "Kaisa chal raha hai?"

"Sir, apko toh pata hi hai kya chal raha hai!" I smiled ruefully.

"You know when I joined this company 4 years ago, I was in PIP 3 times in a row!"

"Kuch bhi sir! You've set records for your performance on the floor, people cite your experiences on countless occasions."

"Haan toh main mana thodi kar raha hu. I'm going to give you that one secret that took me from PIP to being a star performer!"

I took my pen and was all set to write it down on my notepad. After all, it had to go in the 'Minutes Of the Meeting'!

"Right now, you feel like you're at the bottom of the pit right? I know how daunting, depressing, and demotivating it can be..." he continued.

"But here's my secret-" he said, "You don't need a spider to bite you for you to be special!"

Like a little child, I just flushed every emotion that had been piling up inside of me for 20 minutes and he just sat there patiently listening! Heck, I even almost cried at one point. After I was done, he gave me some water and said, "Do you know why I called for this meeting? It's not your performance evaluation, it's your obstacle evaluation!"

I was puzzled.

From my 20 minute rant he told me 3 very obvious obstacles that were holding me back:

1. I was comparing myself with people that I didn't need to compare myself with.
2. My definition of success was based on what OTHERS thought was a benchmark for success
3. And, I second-guessed myself and did not give myself enough credit.

He even took his superhero analogy to the next level. He said, "For every hero, there is a superhero! For every villain, there is a supervillain! There'll always be someone better! But you know the difference between Iron Man 1,2, & 3? In every movie, Tony Stark turned out to be better than himself. I mean in the world of over 100 superheroes with special powers and abilities, who would've thought an engineer would end up killing Thanos? Proving my point that you don't need a spider to bite you for you to be special!"

That night I went home and I couldn't sleep. I played that conversation over and over again in my head and tried to make sense of everything he said. And guess what? He was right!

Your biggest competition is the man in the mirror! I did not have to be better than the other 150 people working on the floor. I only had to be better than myself every day. I started celebrating every incremental improvement. Instead of belittling myself on others' achievements, I always told myself "Ek din main bhi!". Once I got that change in attitude, the way I worked changed, and sure enough within 3 months, I became the star performer!

Nobody can give you your success on a silver platter! Even if they can, they won't! The only person who can write your destiny is you! The sooner you accept this, the higher you'll grow.

Your time may be good or bad, but it's the only time you have. So, hustle while you still can.

Over time he gave me many such one-liners. The crux of every statement being - The power to change things is with the man in the mirror!

Fast-forward 3 years and I still stand in front of the same mirror! But now, I look at the man in the mirror, smile with confidence, and say "Aj teri bari!"