Be limitless - 10 skills to conquer

Everybody in this world is in a journey towards personal excellence, the paths might be different but the journey is an arduous one. The people who get rewarded are the ones who stick to a sound philosophy. There is no tool or a framework out there that certifies someone's philosophy towards life and it being so intangible and contextual, it's hard to look at the path clearly when you start at least as you don't have templates. It is almost like taking a leap of faith but one has to remember that having a philosophy though flawed is better than not having one at all. Hopefully this will convince you to reconsider having one to start with and constantly improvising it based on your life's experiences. Unfortunately there is no way that you can achieve long term benefits without some short term shortcomings.??

As we continue to be in this perpetual motion, sometimes we might get distracted by looking at others and thinking their path is better than ours, this is similar to waiting in a toll booth and thinking that the other line is moving faster than yours and you change the line only to discover that the one that you were in was in fact faster. The only way to find out whether the line that you are following is serving you or not is by taking a long term view of life.

Sometimes life might throw a curve ball which would make you feel that the outcomes that you are getting is inferior to others but you have to remember that this path of following a philosophy is less traveled and is based on intuition rather than experience. You start with some, add few, drop few based on what serves you best and whether you have a sound set of values that are guiding you in this path of attaining your life's purpose and meaning. I have stumbled upon 10 such values that I think is serving me and I would like to share these with you.

Be Congruent - We have very little control over most of the things in life. Our intentions gets formed before our actions, our thoughts form out of our beliefs. Others perceive us based on their interpretations of our actions and their experience. We only have a small window of opportunity to make sure that our communication is having the right meaning and impact and is totally congruent to our values.

Our communication skill is much more than fluency but all about how it's aligned to our values. As soon as words leave our mouth or mail leaves our mailbox, we are at the mercy of others to understand the context in which we have said or have done things. We can only become congruent by practicing congruence, so observe yourself while you talk, self assess yourself objectively and bring improvements?

Be Attentive - Give others undivided attention and attend to them. Give them the space, without any assumptions in your mind to express themselves freely. I was in a call recently with a fellow colleague who wanted to share something important that would take them further in their career and I had a meeting that was coming up. I politely told the organizer of the meeting that I am into something else and can't make it. I am not sure whether all of us will take the same approach when we are presented with a similar situation. Don't box your attention only within a small window. Making sure that you dedicate sufficient time to attend to people and making it intentional will go a long way in building a rapport with anyone who is getting attended to.??

Be Goal Oriented - This ability will determine how much an individual goes to achieve things in life. Agreed, not all goals are within control but once you internalize a goal then there is no stopping you from achieving the same. The more you achieve, the more the motivation will be to setup next goal and achieve that. For example: getting a feedback from customer may not be possible all the time but delivering a great service is within limits and that should be bare minimum someone should strive for. Goal setting and orientation is an important aspect of ones life as that provides the anchor in which our expectations, hopes and a better future lie. Give yourself that dopamine release by making it a habit to achieve goals and within no time you will become a go-to person for people when they are looking for motivation.?

Be Optimistic - Always have an open mind about others, situations and circumstances. Always assume that others have good intentions and a good idea or feedback can come from any corner even in a dire situation. This attribute alone can help you turn your defeat into victories, remember there is no such thing as failure but only learning. This perspective towards life will also make you a very likable person and people would want to be associated with you. I always have a debate with my father, his view is that God isn't helping and he will point at state of affairs to strengthen his argument, I would in contrast respond by saying that he has at least spared us so that we can even have this discussion, he is very merciful. Keeping an optimistic and fatalistic view of life will strengthen your mind and will avoid unwanted thoughts popping in your head. This will give you the head space to think something useful and purposeful.

Be Resilient - Tough times never last but they come from time to time to test you, tough people do last but they will be tested time and again by situations that are beyond their control. What remains to be seen is how tough mentally you are and how much of external influences disturb your internal tranquility. Remember we don't get impacted by what's happening around us but what meaning we associates to these events. 2000 years ago, Greek philosophers understood this and developed a sense of humor as an amour when faced with a difficult situation. It's difficult to laugh at a situation when something unpleasant is happening but always look for opportunities in any situation. There is at least one thing that you can always do in any situation, see what you can learn and take that forward.

Be Agile - Agility in mind and biased towards action are required to move towards tangible benefits in life. Thoughts, actions, learn and repeat. Nothing gives you goosebumps in equal measures than seeing yourself learn or succeed, the more you go through this cycle, the more you enjoy the game of life. Agility is much more than the roles, ceremonies, artifacts, frameworks and structures, it starts there and then it patiently waits for someone with the right mindset to come and leverage these for better outcomes, purpose and meaning. See agile in everything rather than take it as a tool and look for systems to apply the same. An agile mind will unconsciously apply Agile values and principles in everything that a person does. Let Agile be your second nature

Be Empathetic - Showing empathy towards others unconditionally?is an investment that you make to reap rewards for yourself. Sometimes, this might seem counter-intuitive as the human instinct is to do tit-for-tat or at least satisfy our ego by taking a small revenge but go against your instinct sometimes and this time for a good reason. We are truly tested when we have to show empathy towards others when we feel insulted, when we think some sort of injustice has happened, when we don't like especially what someone has said or done to us. Not all of us can act like Socrates and drink the hemlock to stay true to our values but that's the extent of sacrificing one's ego that's required to stay empathetic towards others. How are you? Hope your family is safe and sound? Stay safe and take care. It's not possible to have a conversation with anyone in today's pandemic infused world without asking about some of the questions. I am sure we ask these questions with right intentions and do genuinely care about others while asking this but the sad part is that it has taken a virus to teach us this lesson. I wish and hope that we carry this new found, caring attitude towards fellow human beings even after we conquer the virus, its effects and overcome yet another world crisis.?

Be DEI Champion - Diversity in thoughts and actions, Equity above all else, being inclusive as a default behavior are required today to gain acceptance as human being and quite rightly so. This human race has divided the wicked world and labelled everything that came in it's way, so much so that we all took comfort in these labels and even started to exploit some of these for our own benefit. What's required today is for us to let go these labels and talk to the minds and hearts. The more one leaves the presuppositions that isn't serving them, the more they will become accepted. What's required today is to assume that everybody has got the right intention, everybody wakes up daily to make a difference in their own way and deserve unconditional positive regard.?

Be Self Aware - Self awareness is the super skill of 21st century and has been a top skill for more than thousands of years, if not more. Knowledge seekers start from knowing oneself first,this though very easy to understand this one thing is difficult to master. Self awareness doesn't fall into the category of doing something for 10,000 hrs and attaining mastery, it's a journey and one who takes the plunge into the darkness of what's lurking down there is rewarded with new found wisdom, enlightenment and humility to face this wicked world. For centuries, philosophers have been writing about this critical skill and how it has helped them lead a life of tranquility. Today we can land a satellite with a pin point accuracy over a satellite that's thousands of miles away but very rarely we explore within and know what we exactly want. Investing time in doing regular reflections will make you a better person, hopefully someday we can truly get to a place and say, I have arrived now.

Be a Deep Listener - How often do you listen to yourself? Don't listen so that you can only jump in with what you have to communicate or what you have in your mind. Did you interrupt someone sooner than anticipated? Did you assume worst case scenario before someone even made their point? Some of these actions undermine our ability to truly understand other's perspectives. Three things you should avoid - Have an agenda of your own when you listen to someone, your mind working overtime trying to process all that's being said, switching on your solution provider hat.

Human nature is to actively gather information with an intention of?just waiting for that second when you can interrupt and communicate what you want to. When the person who is communicating does all the processing, when the person communicating is bringing in clarity, when the listener is only acknowledging what's being said, you have well and truly arrived with your listening hat. Sometimes, just listening to someone and holding on to your perspective when not needed will position you as someone with good listening skills.?

Let's choose - Values over short term gains, direction over speed, purpose over happiness, pain over pleasure, listening over hearing and attitude over techniques

Let's conquer ourselves and conquer the world