Limiting Beliefs Part 1: How I Sabotaged My Career in Cybersecurity

People always say “seeing is believing,” however, in my experience, believing is actually what allows one to see.

While I did some major, major work busting my butt grinding and hustling to get into cyber, I still vastly limited myself with old beliefs of not being good enough, not belonging, being unable, not being smart enough, etc. I look back now and I see all the times I sabotaged my career allowing Imposter Syndrome to get in the way. My education was in Blue Team (which excited me! I loved working in the SOC and getting to be a detective!), but I ended up in GRC because of limiting beliefs. My narrative went something like, “Well, I’m good at this, and have a past skill set of this, so I should probably go do this—easy in, easy money, guaranteed success.”

While that “worked,” it caused me to fail miserably. The reason for that is I was limiting myself. I had been given this new career, a new lease on life, a new passion, and instead of going in the direction that brought me joy and excited my spirit, I became afraid I wouldn’t succeed at that because I “didn’t have the mind for it,” or “that’s not what my education was in,” or “it’s hard.” What it all boiled down to was I didn’t believe in myself. And as I just said, believing creates the seeing—we manifest our own destinies with our thoughts. It’s true, whether you think that’s woo-woo or not.

Look back to a time in your life when you knew that you knew something and you chased after it and got it! How exciting! You created that opportunity for yourself. I’m also willing to bet that in your excitement and passion to go after that thing, it honestly wasn’t very hard to obtain because your energy and momentum opened doors and brought you opportunities you weren’t expecting and didn’t even dream of. That’s the power of manifesting, the power of thought. Unfortunately, it goes the same way in the opposite direction. If you’re thinking negative things, focusing on failures or what you DON’T want, so it shall continue to be for you. The energy we put out is the energy we get back. Where our focus goes energy flows.

You don’t have to be religious for any of this to make sense.

Limiting beliefs—whether obtained from our childhood through parental messages or through a series of life events that began to slowly instill those untrue beliefs within us to the point we adopted them as truths and then made them our faithful narratives—will always be the reason we fail. Universal Law dictates that we are capable of any and everything, and that all we need to do is Believe. Whether that sounds like New Age hooey to you or not, consider that concept for just a moment:

You believed your spouse was the one for you, so you married them.

You believed you’d be a good parent, so you had children.

You believed you’d be good at that job, so you applied for it.

You believed that was the house for you, so you bought it.

These may seem like simple things that didn’t require much effort or the need for the Universe to get involved, but it truly is as simple as Believing.

If you DIDN’T believe your spouse was the one, or you’d be a good parent, or that house was it, or that job was it, or that car was it, insert whatever here, then fact of the matter is you wouldn’t have chased after it or obtained it. You wouldn’t have believed. This same concept applies to everything in existence. Faith + Belief = Unlimited Possibilities.

The simplest concepts are often (and for seemingly no real reason) the most difficult for us to grasp. We expect and believe life has to be hard, that we have to grind and hustle to obtain our goals, and while action is absolutely required (if you’re of Faith, then you know having faith without works is dead), Believing is most of the battle. You can bust your butt as hard as you want to for as long as you want to, but if you don’t believe in yourself or the outcome—futile.

Now that I’m on the other side of “exiting” cybersecurity as a full time source of income and the way I define what I do for a career, I can look back and see all the ways I stifled my own success.

-????????? Did I achieve six figures? I did; in two years’ time when I gave myself three. But how much could I have made had I followed my heart and got into the things I REALLY loved? Clearly earning that type of wage did not change my limiting beliefs.

-????????? Did I work for great companies? I did; which ended up meaning nothing because I was doing the wrong type of work, and subsequently it destroyed my respect for myself. I remember landing a job at a well-established, rather large company; it was my first six-figure role. A couple weeks later I sat on the porch and cried because my new title was so far removed from the type of work I wanted to be doing it didn’t even matter that I’d hit that wage milestone.

-????????? Did I work on awesome projects? I did; although there could’ve been so many more had I just opened my mind and believed in myself. I deserved to be in those moments with those people, but I didn’t truly believe that in my heart.

The opportunities I had, the people I got to meet, the places I got to go, the companies I got to work for—all super cool and I am VERY grateful for all of it. It got me here today, and I love my life! But it’s hard not to feel like I squandered those opportunities by being too afraid to step into my full potential. I failed to realize the only validation I needed was my own; the only support I needed was my own; the only approval I needed was my own. Seeking external sources for any of those things will forever leave us disillusioned and feeling let down and empty.

Don’t be the one to let this happen to you. I promise there won’t be anyone else to blame. The old saying of being on your death bed and looking back at your life and wondering what if or regretting lost chances and missed opportunities doesn’t have to be a reality.

If you need support or encouragement, an Accountabilibuddy, a Plan of Action, feedback, or insight, please reach out to me! Let’s conquer this stuff together. Life does not need and was never intended to be a struggle.

Stay tuned for Limiting Beliefs Part 2.