Likeminded: A New Word for Conformity?

Imagine the iconic Apple advertising campaign “Think Different” re-written in 2024: ”Think Similar”.

The term “like-minded” has entered every facet of our world. When I see the word or hear it used, it is a flashing red warning sign. It’s a call to think a certain way. To behave a certain way. To get in line. To stay “inside” the box.? And, lately, it's ubiquitous, here are some real examples from the last two weeks:

In invitations for events:?

“Expand your network with like-minded professionals from [city or industry].”

In Linked In Profiles:?

“Connecting talented investment managers with like-minded investors.”

Even in fundraising and product pitches:

?“[Our product] seamlessly integrates you into your new neighborhood by connecting you with like-minded individuals.”

Now that I pointed it out…you will see it too. Everywhere.

I understand that being around like-minded people is comforting. It provides a calming sense of safety and emotional affirmation. A chance to take off the armor of everyday conflict and daily stressors. A chance to gather for conversation or a meal or a meeting with individuals that are predisposed to get along and to agree. And, I am certain that in most situations the use of the term is quite benign.?

But what if that is not the case?

Recently, I was invited to a dinner with other “like minded” investors and Limited Partners. The conversation was earnest and weighty, mostly focused on the current fundraising market and when things might turn around for early-stage venture. As serious as the conversation was, it was also unsubstantial. To me, it began to sound like Chief’s opponents blaming the referees for a lost game.?

At one point in the evening, I shared a divergent point of view and I was quickly dismissed. The conversation shifted back and the group went on nodding and smiling politely. Later, as I was about to leave, two people that had remained mostly silent during dinner stealthily made their way over to me. They agreed with my point but were too intimidated to speak up for themselves during the conversation.

But why??

My fear is that our like-mindedness has become less about belonging and more about conformity. It says, we are a group of people that have a certain world view and you should be part of us. It reeks of superiority and righteousness. It insinuates a closed system in the most polite and nuanced way. It is powerful and dangerous and may inadvertently encourage division and ‘othering’.

It is also a colossal waste of time. Boring even.

At dinner, I wasn’t looking for instant agreement but I also didn’t want to be dismissed. I wanted to disagree and debate - sincerely, respectfully and with my whole heart. I crave being around people that are going to openly challenge my thinking, stretch me to see things in new ways, develop new skills and offer something I wouldn’t think of. I want to be pushed outside of my comfort zone. My desire is not about drama or conflict. Instead it's about learning and growing from every interaction with another human.?

We need a paradigm shift.?

What if instead of promoting like-mindedness we promoted critical thinking and celebrated independent ideas? Instead of being told what to think or how to think - we were given information and told to figure out our own point of view? Instead of deliberately selecting information that confirms our own judgements and biases, we seek out inconvenient facts and uncomfortable opinions with curiosity.? Consider a few examples:

• Daryl Davis, a black R&B musician that engaged and befriended dozens of KKK members in an effort to answer the question: 'Why do you hate me when you know nothing about me?'. The result being dozens of KKK members leaving and denouncing the KKK.

• Bari Weiss, an American journalist who publicly resigned from the New York Times amid what some called a “new McCarthyism”.? Then, subsequently launched The Free Press, a new media company founded on the ideals of independent journalism.

• A Never Trumper (that’s me) attending a Trump rally in 2016 with her father to better understand how her Dad, along with 47% of the rest of the country, support a man that she feels is morally and politically bankrupt. The result being a deeper, more genuine understanding of her father’s perspective.

Your actions do not have to be big, bold moves. Start small.??

Next time you plan or attend an event, think about how to offer something outside the norm. Next time your team has a meeting, encourage or share new ideas and divergent opinions. Next time you find yourself wanting to turn away from something that challenges your sensibilities - get curious.?

As leaders building and investing in the technology of the future, it's imperative that we are aware of and step outside of our bubbles. That we unite in our humanity whilst celebrating our individuality. That we seek out those that will offer something different, something new, something that will challenge us and make us grow. Imagine the possible implications and unexpected results.

This is what “Think Different” should look like in 2024.