To Be Liked Or To Make An Impact?
Brian Ford
Using personal development to fundraise for charity | Behavior Change & Life Systems Coach (20+ million podcast downloads) | Social Impact Leader (Founder of For Purpose Foundation)
In a meditation last week a very powerful question popped into my head that I want to share with you - What’s more important to you, to be liked or to make an impact?
I fully understand that you can have both at the same time, and they’re actually on the same team more than they oppose each other... But given the raw materials of the two, my consciousness tasked me to genuinely respond to it. And I think the reason is because I have let wanting to be liked take precedence over making an impact.
This brings up something called a ‘competing commitment’. Kind of like self-sabotage, it’s an odd phenomenon that creates resistance to doing what you tell yourself you want to do. It’s a pattern where an unconscious need wins out over a conscious want.
A personal example, I’m deeply inspired about a New Year campaign that I’m launching (that you’ll hear about soon). Professionally there are few things that take priority over that, yet there have been a handful of events I’ve been invited to that I’ve chosen to attend. I believe that if I was choosing to make an impact I would decline and stay focused, and if I accept then I’m allowing other things, like a desire to be liked by others, be more important.
Another example, and probably the one that brought this to mind… In order to really tap into my fullest impact through this campaign I’m going to need to get bold in my outreach, call in favors, and challenge people to support. I need to get bold, and it might scare some people away or make people think differently of me. Perhaps I’m hanging on to a need to be liked and letting it compromise my impact.
Fortunately, the way to defeat competing commitments and self-sabotage is through awareness. You can only do something about it when you know it’s happening. With awareness you have the opportunity to push through the resistance and take actions that align with what you’re telling yourself you want.?
I’m committed to making an impact. I don’t want to rub people the wrong way, but I must be willing to. I am learning to trust my own intentions over the feedback others give me, and fully execute my mission even though it might come at a greater cost. It’s all in service of changing the world, as we’re on our way!