Like Vs Respect: Which One Would You Want More?

I was always liked at my workplace. My team liked me, I had a great relationship with the majority of my bosses and my clients liked me.

But I always had this huge imposter syndrome. “Do they respect me?”, I constantly asked in the secrecy of my thoughts.

And the more I thought about that, the more I saw the lack of it, and actually imagined most of it!

It was such a painful pill to swallow! I felt the pressure to be on my toes all the time!

Ideally such a thing shouldn’t impact my personal life- because we are meant to be balanced.. right?

But no, at home - same thing, same challenges

Anger pangs, an outburst here and there with kids when I felt I wasn’t "respected".

The more I pushed for it, the more I found myself not getting it.

No matter how much I did, no matter what I achieved, it remained elusive.

Then through a series of changes, I came to this deep realization.

I didn’t really respect myself!

But why?

Because my entire definition of respect was based on what someone achieved.

The flimsiness resulted in an overdrive and eventual burnout.

Let me pause to share here. A burnout can happen because of others- and you can then have someone to blame it on.

But if it happens because of you- it is darn hard to take it!

There are 3 core changes I made that helped me- and if you have a similar challenge or even a little of it, will help you.

1- Moving from Achievement to Outcome

An achievement is result of a series of small outcomes.

And so focusing on outcomes gives you a LOT more to appreciate about what is happening!

And the resulting positivity, celebration creates a stronger feeling of success.

Very simple but extremely effective!

2- Realising that my role is that of an Enabler

It was first hard to admit as it went against my "individuality" but I realised that most stuff that we do depends on others doing great things.

Instead of acquiring more knowledge, certifications and becoming all things to all people, I focused on what I was best at!

By considering myself as an Enabler, I saw to their needs and was able to bring in my strengths to work!

You can guess what it would automatically do to the respect I craved at the time!

3- Being open and vulnerable?

This will may not sound much but being vulnerable was probably my career highlight.

When I opened myself like that, yes there was initial judgment, especially by me against myself, but soon it fizzled out.

It ended up being my biggest gift!

Because that pushed me totally away from politics!

And As far I can remember, no one ever played dirty games of politics with me!??

I am sure in one way or other, something above will touch you and help you the way it has helped me.

What other methods have you seen being used to get away from this Like Vs Respect challenge a lot of us face?