Be Like the Sailors - Not Ulysses

What this weekly newsletter is all about: Analyzing, discussing, and prescribing best practices for families in both education and youth sports; Please follow, share, or comment. Thank you!

Newsletter content:

1. Overview & book excerpts;
2. Article of the week;
3. Video of the week;
4. Tweet of the week;
5. Exercise of the week

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Overview & book excerpts-->

A plethora of studies since the 1990s have posited that willpower is finite and connected to the amount of glucose in your body, and that depletion of blood glucose corresponds to lower resolve. Some researchers claim that a subject's willpower stock will therefore benefit from an injection of glucose, such as a sugary drink, after a strenuous episode. This line of reasoning is used to explain why processed junk food is particularly tempting at night when you are physically and emotionally drained.?

However, recent research from Carol Dweck (the GOAT in education research, most notably in terms of growth mindset) disputes this common fallacy. {Willpower depletion and ego depletion are used interchangeably in academic vernacular.}

“Dweck concluded that signs of ego depletion were observed only in test subjects who believed willpower was a limited resource. Those participants who did not see willpower as finite did not show signs of ego depletion.”

Nir Eyal continues the summary of Dweck's findings in the Harvard Business Review: “Just as we don’t ‘run out’ of joy or anger, willpower ebbs and flows based on what’s happening to us and how we feel. Viewing willpower through this lens has profound implications.” We do not run out of willpower, and a positive and empowering mindset (particularly one that values grit and development rather than end goals) has always been integral to success. But what can hinder our ability to maintain the approach that will benefit us most acutely?

Other people and their words, actions, or overall outlook on life. Anecdotally it does feel like it is hard to resist certain activities, or even “vibes” as the kids say, if we are around that stimuli for extended periods of time, doesn’t it? If others are gossiping we may resist at first, but by the end of the conversation the slippery slope may have led to us saying things we would never have initiated and will likely regret later. Studies have proven what we all know intuitively; teenagers are notable in their inclination to participate in risk taking behavior if they see others doing so first. I have heard ‘Friends of Bill’ say “If you do not want a haircut don’t go into a barbershop”, and I tend to agree with the sentiment. If you don’t want to slip, avoid the ice.

Other people can directly impact how we feel about something, or even ourselves. Thaler and Sunstein write that people disregard evidence from their own senses and think “that their initial perceptions must have been wrong. If everyone in the room accepts a certain proposition, or sees things a certain way, you might conclude that they are probably right.” It requires energy to resist these naysayers.

Sometimes the impact of others is so pernicious that we can even feel it second hand. Lobdell writes about a high-school student who “felt the added pressure … of other students’ parents being ‘transferred’ through her peers onto her. The high anxiety among peers at school, and on Facebook, was contagious.”

So rather than blindly going through life allowing others to pollute our mindset, and potentially damage our willpower, evaluate where any toxicity is coming from and then circumvent it. Literally block it out like the sailors, either by avoiding those people in social situations, or deleting them from your social media. It is not necessary to chain ourselves to the mast like Ulysses did, because we know what the motif of the toxicity will entail: Gossip, innuendo, jealousy, slander, moaning, etc. Even if we do not end up shipwrecked on the rocks, we will almost certainly be negatively affected.

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Article?of the week--> Understanding Social Comparison on Social Media

"A 2018 nationally representative?study?by the Pew Research Center found that 95% of teens surveyed have access to a smart phone and 45% say that they go on-line constantly."

"Negative social comparison or the fear of missing out (FOMO), which is the idea that someone else is having a better time or is more successful than you (only from what you can see of their online lives), can impact our mental health in a variety of ways:

Increased depression:?Feeling envy and down on ourselves because of what others post on social media is?associated with worsening depression.

Decreased overall well-being:?People who are heavy users of social media (upwards of 5 hours a day)?have been shown?to have a lower sense of self, suffer from depression and even have thoughts of suicide.

Poor body image:?A crucial factor in self-esteem, especially in adolescent development, negative self-comparison is a common phenomenon for both men and women on social media. While the idealized standards for men and women’s bodies are different, both are?vulnerable to poor body-image?and low self-esteem. This is true online as well with the growing rise in?cyberbullying.

Eating disorders:?More time on social media is also associated with the desire to change one’s body through?disordered eating habits."

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Video of the week--> "The main thing you want to develop in life is the ability to detect them {toxic people} before you get involved with them." (I love that Pac cover in the background.)

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Tweet?of the week--> "The worst thing that happened to youth sports is social media."

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Exercise of the week-->

Email Tim-->

See you next week!