To Like or not to Like: That is the Question!

To like or not to like? That is the question of today! Instagram and Facebook have recently been considering removing the number of likes from their platforms to improve the psychological health of billions of users worldwide. In this article, I provide some suggestions to these two digital icons of our contemporary culture and also to you my friends and fellow users of social media.

First, however, let's step back and examine what motivates us generally to react to someone's post, like it or share it in the first place?

• Relevance. We find the information in the post relevant to our life, our job, our recent interests, our character, or our deeply-rooted beliefs. It teaches us, energizes, or reinforces and encourages what we already believe.
• Originality. The post sparks our curiosity because it is so different and unpredictable from anything else we have ever seen or heard or from what we may expect. It has a sensationalism factor similar to brief Hollywood trailers promoting films.
• Author. We may or may not find the post itself or its message interesting or relevant to us but we choose to demonstrate support to the author regardless of the message. This is a motivation that is inherently faulty because it does not separate the message from its author which is critical in a fair evaluation. And such a motivation is not scientific in nature, it may be regarded as favoritism. However, there is another side to this motivation as well that has more long-term implications. This source of motivation is a sign of generosity in which you feel better by making the author of the post feel better with your reaction. When we reflect and attempt to explain our observations we often fall back on our roots or the past to explain the present or even predict the future. In my native language, Georgian, there is one word that describes such a motivation to merely demonstrate unconditional support for which I have not yet found an exact translation in any other language or the other three I speak fluently - it is ?????, khatri (pronounced "hah-tree"). This word comes from the antique country in the Caucasus Mountains, and is known to characterize the spirit and character traditionally valued highly by this people. As a native speaker, I would say that the actual meaning of the word does not exactly translate to the English words empathy, hospitality, nor generosity, support, or compassion, but is probably closest to "selflessness", or the opposite of selfishness. This word, ????? or khatri (pronounced "hah-tree") means that you are willing to sacrifice whatever is dear to you, time, resources, preferences in order to simply make someone else feel better or stronger without anything to gain yourself. At the end of the day, does liking your colleague, friend, neighbor's post even if you do not find it original, practical, or relevant to you cost anything to you? Does liking or sharing someone else's post worsen or challenge your self-evaluation or reputation?
• Perception. For those of us who are more calculating, strategic and concerned about social or political capital, the perception rather than the emotional effect of our likes become most important. Such people like posts and then expect or demand likes or shares in return in a "quid pro quo" or "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" model. Or they may want to be perceived as the author's "supporter" for their own selfish interests. In fact, I discuss the three different levels of help from what I refer to as "The Help Pyramid" that all of us offer people in this world in different proportions and in different situations. Most of us offer this type of "selfish level" of help, followed by "empathetic level" in lower proportions, and by "generous level" of help in even less people (link to the 12-minute podcast: The @Alloutcoach "Help Pyramid" Podcast Episode). As the reality of today's social media influencers indicates, we do not have to be calculating or ruthless people by nature in order to favor liking those people's posts who already have an established reputation or are considered a "thought leader" or "influencer" in their field. After all, they are the ones we follow most and aspire to emulate in some manner or outcome. However, when people purposely like or interact only with those people who are established or qualified leaders regardless of the merit of their message compared to other emerging leaders, or newcomers, they favor perception to the actual value of the post, and they choose opportunism over leadership or meritocracy. This motivation is often valuable, practical and actually extremely common, but it is less organic and genuine, and frankly, to many independent thinkers, such a motivation to like and interact with people's posts is also too conventional and boring. Liking someone else's post helps lift that person and demonstrates acknowledgment and support. And generosity and selflessness do not require any strategy or perception, but rather action alone.

Now, let's truly reflect and discuss why we do NOT like or interact with people's posts on social media assuming we have the time to view them completely.

• Character. The post goes against our personal ethical code, our culture, or our values. We do not believe it benefits society, or may be harmful. The information expressed is divisive, inflammatory, or abrasive, rather than inclusive.
• Irrelevance. It does not relate to what we do routinely, or disagrees with our preconceived notions or our own universe. We do not stand to gain much from it from our cursory three-second view of the post. It is so controversial, original, or unpredictable that it challenges us, which makes us uncomfortable, and not only do we not like it, but may "dislike" the post or post a negative comment without concerning ourselves with other people whom the information published may benefit.
• Perception. Even if we genuinely like the post, we do not like it because there are certain people, leaders, or our employers that we do not want to see our like. We are not confident enough in our social media presence or its significance in today's society. We may ask ourselves: "What will people think of me if they actually know the issues I stand for or those sides of my character that define me as an individual?". How will the organization for which I work and am grateful for compensating me generously interpret my post and opinions, and how will my activity affect or possibly harm it?
• Competition. Even though we may like the merits of a post, we may think that liking or acknowledging someone else's content happens at the expense of our own value or personality. As a result, some of us subconsciously feel like we lose some "pseudo" competitive edge when we like people whom we follow or who may be involved in the same field or function. Or we feel that the post has lots of merit in its particular field or for society in our mind, but because we have a poor or competitive relationship with the author, we consciously do not like it publicly. So although the particular message may be consistent with our deepest beliefs on the subject beneficial to society, relevant to us, not carry any perceived conflicts of interest or perception concerns, we are nevertheless still unable to separate its beneficial message from its author, who we are convinced in our mind clearly shows no interest in our personal benefit.
• Burden. We take the time to consume the information and find it valuable and relevant, yet we forget to prioritize and do not acknowledge the time and effort the author takes to create the content. As a result, we may see a large number of likes for the post already, for example, and feel like our one additional like may not matter. This is similar reasoning that explains why many people do not vote in political elections for example. They do not think their voice counts or matters and refuse to assume additional responsibility.

Now that Instagram and Facebook have publicly announced their efforts to improve the psychological health of the billions of their followers and end-users by considering removing the numbers of likes so that they will no longer be visible, I will provide my recommendations to these social media giants below.

1. IF REMOVING LIKES, THEN ALSO REMOVE ALL METRICS. First, from an #Alloutcoach perspective if I were to remove the number of likes then I would also remove all metrics such as the number of views, the number of followers, and others because with only the likes removed there would be other metrics that users would start to chase and use to compete against others. They would continue to consider their worth to depend on the number of likes or number of followers or friends that they have on social media. So remove all such metrics altogether.
2. SELL ACCESS TO LIKES & ANALYTICS DATA BY SUBSCRIPTION ONLY. Compromise by following the LinkedIn example and offer the number of likes as subscription-based only access in such a way that users would have to pay a subscription in order to get access to that data and that information like the number of likes, followers, and raw impressions that would allow many businesses who are serious about analytics and growth to invest in that capability to grow their awareness and revenue as well.
3. INVEST MORE TO MODERATE & REPORT ABUSIVE COMMENTS OR POSTS. Most importantly, in terms of the psychological health of social media users worldwide, invest more staff and more resources into not just moderating the comments that are reported but following up on them by disciplining or blocking users who post abusive, derogatory, racist and inflammatory comments, messages and posts that bully other users. It is a very important tactic in order to improve the health of our society to not just report but also to follow up to prevent such activity in the future. Thus, my suggestions to Instagram and Facebook are to create more official contests or incentives for users to like and share each other's posts and content more. The Hallmark greeting cards are one of the most positive associations that we have around holidays that help us celebrate each other, express our sympathy or empathy, lift each other up, or recognize each other for our accomplishments. So rather than making social media a competition, make it a Hallmark tradition in new creative features and additions to your platforms.

Finally, below are the simple solutions I personally find relevant for the general public, content creators and social media consumers alike, which require a shift in our mindset, ideology, and a system of meritocracy.

1. LIKE AND SHARE MORE CONTENT REGARDLESS OF THE AUTHOR. BE MORE GENEROUS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Make more people feel better. It is very simple - like and share more posts and content regardless of who they are from. Do you notice that there are fewer number of likes and engagements with posts and content on LinkedIn then there are on Facebook and Instagram? Yes it is increasing but LinkedIn, which is used by 700 million users worldwide, symbolizes our professional world, which is quite competitive across all industries. In fact our business world is becoming brutal which also significantly impacts the health of the workforce and society in general. So even if you may not agree with someone, you may have a competitor or a colleague that you do not agree with, if you genuinely feel that the post is healthy and is beneficial to your society as a whole then do not "troll" but like like that post, comment, and let them know about it.
2. SEPARATE THE MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR WHEN YOU INTERACT WITH A SOCIAL MEDIA POST. Remember to separate the message from the author when you criticize or when you do not have a good relationship with the author. It is very important to do that for the health of our society, for the health of our companies in which we work because colleagues often like each other's content but they do not take the time to like it because of various perception issues, different kind of political or policy related issues on LinkedIn, or some meaningless and petty zero-sum type of competition that may be implicit or explicit. Instead be more generous with your colleagues, with your friends, and with your social media connections by liking and sharing more content if you feel it is the product of significant effort or a reflection of education and value to others.

IN CONCLUSION...

Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn is your diary. It is your legacy.

Social Media is no longer your presence, it is your identity!

It is like an Olympics competition across many disciplines.

Social media is a book that you never stop reading. It is a classroom and a playground at the same time where war has no place.

So remember to embrace the chance social media gives you to stretch yourself and to lift others.

Learn how to use it in the right way so well that you can win by helping others win with the value and the education that you create for others.

That is my message in response to the question: "To like or not to like".

What are your suggestions to Social Media Platforms, as well as to your friends and other fellow users? Leave me a comment!

Personal background

?I have worked in the Medical division of the Pharmaceutical Industry for over about 16 years in both large, specialty, rare-disease, and start-up companies and currently am a Director, Medical Science Liaison (MSL) at a transformational start-up pharmaceutical company UroGen Pharma actively dedicating my personal time outside of work to transforming Medical Affairs one new perspective, solution, and system at a time by adding energy, excitement, and character.

I am also the Founder of @Amedea Pharma, a pharmaceutical consulting company focused on analytics and organizational change that includes career and company culture coaching services via my @Alloutcoach podcast, YouTube channel and personal LinkedIn page @Alloutcoach aimed at directly addressing the root causes of the most timely and relevant issues that impact our professional lives.

"Stretch Yourself, Lift Others"

You can find @Alloutcoach on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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