Like Me, Are You Haunted by Reading People’s Final Journal Entries?
Gretchen Rubin
6x NYT Bestselling Author | Host of the "Happier with Gretchen Rubin" Podcast | Pre-order "Secrets of Adulthood," out April 1st
Lately, I’ve been somewhat obsessively reading Thomas Merton’s journals.
It was very eerie to read the final entry in his journal — which, of course, he had no idea would be his last. And that got me remembering other final journal entries from authors I love.
From Thomas Merton:
Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. In a little while I leave the hotel. I’m going to say Mass at St. Louis Church, have lunch at the Apostolic Delegation, and then on to the Red Cross place this afternoon.
—The Journals of Thomas Merton, vol. 7, December 8, 1968, Bangkok (Merton died on December 10, 1968, while at a conference, from an accidental electric shock from a fan with faulty wiring)
From Virginia Woolf:
A curious sea side feeling in the air today. It reminds me of lodgings on a parade at Easter. Everyone leaning against the wind, nipped & silenced. All pulp removed.
This windy corner. And Nessa is at Brighton, & I am imagining how it wd be if we could infuse souls.
Octavia’s story. Could I englobe it somehow? English youth in 1900.
Two long letters from Shena & O. I cant tackle them, yet enjoy having them.
L. is doing the rhododendrons…
–The Diary of Virginia Woolf, vol. 5, March 24, 1941, Sussex (Woolf drowned herself on March 28, 1941)
Most haunting of all, from Anne Frank:
…I just can’t keep it up anymore, because when everybody starts hovering over me, I get cross, then sad, and finally end up turning my heart inside out, the bad part on the outside and the good part on the inside, and keep trying to find a way to become what I’d like to be and what I could be if…if only there were no other people in the world.
—The Diary of Anne Frank, August 1, 1944, Amsterdam (Frank was discovered and arrested on August 4, 1944, and died in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in late February or early March 1945)
From Flannery O’Connor:
This isn’t a journal entry, but the final letter written by Flannery O’Connor.
Dear Raybat,
Cowards can be just as vicious as those who declare themselves–more so. Dont take any romantic attitude toward that call. Be properly scared and go on doing what you have to do, but take the necessary precautions. And call the police. That might be a lead for them.
Dont know when I’ll send those stories. I’ve felt too bad to type them.
Cheers, Tarfunk
Flannery O’Connor, The Habit of Being, letter to Maryat Lee, July 28, 1964, Georgia (O’Connor died on August 3, 1964, of complications from lupus)
It’s a very solemn moment, coming to the end of a journal that I know was ended by death. Although the person writing it doesn’t infuse the words with special meaning, they seem to take on power from being the last.
For me, these entries serve as reminders to be grateful for my ordinary life, for the unremarkable routine that might be cut off at any moment.
This kind of memento mori may seem a bit grim — but I find it very helpful. I always struggle to remember how thankful I am for my everyday life, and this helps.
How about you? What practices help you to remember to be grateful for your ordinary day?
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Want to change an important habit? Check out these one-pagers for Eating Better Than Before, Exercising Better Than Before, Working Better Than Before, and Reading Better Than Before — I expected that the one about reading would be the least popular, but I think it may be the most popular. I guess a lot of people love to read as much as I do.
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Gretchen Rubin is the author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, and Happier at Home. She writes about happiness and habit-formation at gretchenrubin.com. Follow her here by clicking the yellow FOLLOW button, on Twitter, @gretchenrubin, on Facebook, facebook.com/GretchenRubin.
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9 年Thank you for sharing the grace I felt when I read this post. At the moment it is early morning, raining, and I am on the porch drinking my morning coffee. It is during times like this that I remember why I am here, that life has meaning and that an unknown day awaits.
Strategic Business Partner| Igniting human potential | Ontological Coach
9 年John Green, in his famous Young Adult novel - The Fault in our Stars wrote these words about the end of life: "You die in the middle of your life, in the middle of a sentence." That's the sense I get when I read these journals, we are full of infinity within us, but these infinities are limited, we just need to make the most of the ones we are given.
I am a postgraduate with Msc Automotive engineering
9 年i like journalist and jourlism
Always hope for best!!!
9 年Exactly
RESEARCH/WRITING - Focus on issues concerning Seniors Advocacy and Environment
9 年Well spoken, Gretchen. These final moments of thought are particularly potent because these people were famous and therefore we know more about what came before in their lives. I am sure we can all relate to the feelings they have had as ones we share at one time or another. All lives have a beginning, a middle and an end. I just keep on thinking that I am in the middle and have a journey of good challenges and learning ahead. It helps.