Lights, Camera... Confessions! What You Didn't See on Social Media (2019 Year in Review)

Every December 30, The Corner of the Court Project celebrates our anniversary of sharing women's career stories of men as allies, highlighting our partnerships and what we've accomplished.

This year, we had the absolute privilege to be front and center at some of the world's biggest conferences and organizations, including headlining at Women of Silicon Valley, celebrating gender partnership with the LA Galaxy major league soccer club, hosting a panel on women's leadership at the G7 Women in Business summit, and more.

(I've included a roundup of our events and every woman's allyship story we published this year, check it out below!)

This year's recap is, therefore, a bit different. It's been a bit overwhelming on social media to share even small wins that generate so much positive energy, and I am so grateful we got these opportunities to share on a big stage. But I think it's just as important to share what you didn't see this year. What goes on in my head, behind the scenes, and in the spaces after the events. I always approach my media work leveraging my craft as a psychologist, so I've tried to distill my pages of reflections & journal entries into a few takeaways below.

Here are the lessons of 2019... thank you for celebrating an amazing year of allyship, sisterhood and teaching me the true meaning of vulnerability.

1) Make friends with your fears.

Helle Thorning-Schmidt, former Prime Minister of Denmark, gave a tremendous speech at European Women in Technology in Amsterdam this November, where I had the honor to not just emcee both days of the conference, but also host fireside chats with the keynote speakers. Helle (she encouraged me to use her first name!) delivered a range of thoughtfully curated insights about women, leadership, resilience and power. Later in our fireside, she discussed being in touch with your feelings.

As moderator, I made a soft bridge of commentary to the audience, sharing that some of the topics we had been covering in the conference were also about emotions, intention setting and mindfulness. Helle said (and I don't remember the exact words, but the sentiment) something like, "Yes, being mindful is important, but: remember it's not just about the positive feelings. Negative feelings are important too. Make friends with your fears."

What you didn't see: When moderating, I rarely get to think about the speaker's words and how I can apply them to myself. Any notes I make are in service of my role, to illuminate a point for the audience, keep the speaker(s) at the center of the event, prepare the right question, and ensure we are on time.

I truly felt – in that moment – Helle gave me a message I desperately needed. Not only did it strike me personally, several days later (when I got to process it off stage), her message actually made me cry. Why did it take the Prime Minister of Denmark to finally get through to me, to stop pushing away my fears and anxiety? I found this photo a few days later and it's my reminder to be brave in the face of so much that feels unknown.

2) There's plenty of room to lead with your heart, in big tech and everywhere else.

Staying with European Women in Technology, my biggest anxiety before the show was knowing that I, an American and "non-engineer" would be up on stage speaking to 4,000+ women in tech, most of whom came from very different work cultures. I haven't lived in Europe in over 5 years, so I did a lot of reflecting before the session about what I wanted to say.

I decided to open with a story about the word heart, specifically how I had experienced the feeling of Herzlichkeit when I lived in Germany. It was my way to offer these 4,000 women my own intention for being their host over the two days: to bring as much "Herzlichkeit" as I could, with deliberate connections to the user experience and empathy in tech.

Throughout the conference many speakers, attendees, networking conversations and social media posts?anchored back to the heart: again and again, we learned the importance of humanity alongside talks about technology, career advancement, and social change.

What you didn't see:?I was going through an overwhelming period of grief prior to and during this conference. I took away two big lessons: (1) when you feel "in flow" doing the thing you love most, you forget everything else. The grief is placed into larger context and purpose. You feel "held" by strangers, who must sense you are doing what you love. (2) this experience was even more special because it gave me a special place to acknowledge the warmth of the European culture. Giving back the sentiment of how openly I was embraced 10 years ago as a newcomer to Germany not only built a connection to the conference attendees, but this connectedness helped me work through my grief.

3) Sisterhood happens.

The Corner of the Court Project represented the voice of men's allyship at a lot of women's conferences this year, and this year in particular I was able to understand how important it is to embrace spaces for women – especially when women don't have opportunities back in their day-to-day industries to connect in this way. This led to a lot of thoughtful discussions (with men and women) about how to sustain the impact of women's conferences while inviting men in at productive points. I suspect in 2020 and beyond, we will need to continue looking at this balance.

Beyond conferences and gatherings, the women who share their stories on our website are doing so to support our positive message about men, while not compromising sisterhood and fellowship with one another.?I addressed this in a previous article (see insight #3), however one speaker I met this year offered such a beautiful take on it:

At the G7 Women in Business Summit Marlène Schiappa, French Minister of State for Gender Equality answered my closing question, "What gives you hope?" by answering in one word, "Sisterhood." She then illustrated how small acts can truly bond women beyond borders, languages or other global boundaries.

What you didn't see: OK. This is where I confess why I have somehow NOT been "fangirling" every speaker I meet. I want to be gushy and share how greatly these women (many of whom I followed before they were on stage with me) inspire me, but these women are not showing up to be admired. They are showing up to share expertise, war stories, messages of tenacity and resilience, and to be stewards to the next generation. This sisterhood aims to educate, uplift and support, and after witnessing it (across the globe, literally!), I can't imagine a workplace that doesn't harness the power and expansive potential of this energy.

Thank You

I have great gratitude for how 2019 gave us a platform to keep sharing the positive stories of men and women working together; and my own responsibility as a leader to be honest, vulnerable and pause to listen. As 2020 brings much more visibility to our program, I promise to share more insights and lessons along the way. Thank you for supporting our journey.

With love, Rachana

The Corner of the Court Project: 2019 Roundup (with links to stories!)

January

• Rania Anderson , Author of WE: Men, Women and the Decisive Formula for Winning at Work is our first feature of 2019! She writes about John, Doug and Paul.

February

• Megan Eddings , Founder of Accel Lifestyle, kicks off a two-part story. She shares her first story about Chris.

March

• Megan Eddings continues (and introduces Women's History Month!) with a story about Kyle.
• Missy Godfrey , Founder and CEO of M3 Advisory, shares her story of allyship with the late publishing titan, Claeys Bahrenburg.
• Gloria Feldt , Co-Founder and CEO of Take the Lead and Former CEO of Planned Parenthood, closes Women's History Month with a story about Watts Wacker.
• Rachana hosts the closing panel at the G7 Women in Business Summit at the Economic Club of New York.

April

• Rachana hosts a celebration of men as allies in Los Angeles , with a special reception and workshop produced by Women in Sports & Events (WISE), in partnership with LA Galaxy Major League Soccer, and Dignity Health Sports Park.
• Brittany Hardin , CEO and Founder of Currency Shift LLC, shares a story about Clayton Banks.

May

• Rachana gives the opening keynote at Women of Silicon Valley about designing the Corner of the Court Project around empathy, storytelling and positive psychology (and a personal story of her own!)
• Michelle Mielly , Ph.D., Associate Professor, Intercultural and Diversity Studies, Grenoble Ecole de Management in France, shares a story about Mark.
• Rachana is honored at The Memo's Women of Resilience awards, representing women of color and her work to bridge partnerships between men and women.

June

• Summer break!

July

• Cate Luzio , Founder and CEO of Luminary, shares how New York City's premier women's collaboration hub welcomes the engagement of men as allies, through a story of Don.

August

• Lyla Kohistany , President and Co-Founder of PROMOTE Leadership, kicks off our partnership with the nonprofit organization, highlighting allyship in the US Special Operations Community – and for the first time, we also hear from the men! Lyla shares a story about her male ally, Ash Alexander-Cooper.

September

• Nicole Alexander , Co-Founder of PROMOTE and Special Operations Leader, shares her story of Colonel Peter Herbert.

October

• Fall break (Rachana turns 40 with a trip to South Africa!)
• Rachana is a panelist on male allies at the Texas Conference for Women, offering the perspective of positive psychology and storytelling through women's voices.
• Rachana hosts the closing keynote at Hopperx1 NYC women in tech conference.

November

• Rachana is chairperson and emcee at European Women in Technology in Amsterdam, Netherlands.
• Heather McAteer , US Army, shares a story of CSM(R) Bill Thetford.

December

• The Corner of the Court Project is nominated for Ellevate Network's "Raising Your Voice" campaign to be held in March 2020. Cast up to 3 votes for women you would like to hear from!
• Happy Holidays! We are looking forward to 2020!

With LA Galaxy President, Chris Klein, and GM of Dignity Health Sports Park, Katie Pandolfo (April 2019)

With Consul General of Canada, Phyllis Yaffe, and MSNBC's Ali Velshi at the G7 Women in Business Return on Investment Summit (March 2019)

At the Texas Conference for Women with Brad Johnson (Author of Athena Rising and Thought Leader on Male Allies), Michael Chamberlain (Catalyst) and Tony Colon (Cisco) (October 2019).