Light Up Your Relationships
Have you noticed how our social contacts tend to fall into familiar patterns of behaviour? We meet people and follow the same, safe rituals of greeting, mostly following established social conventions that are as sincere as the meaningless ‘Have a nice day’ mantra that’s repeated millions of times a day. Today, I’d like to suggest that we can do better.
We are, of course, social creatures, deeply affected by the quality of our social connections. We are also creatures of habit and find it easy and very convenient to think and feel along familiar patterns that don’t require too much effort. That’s how so many relationships slip so easily into the realm of the superficial. Even with couples. Or perhaps we should say particularly with couples! We stop paying attention. Our minds are elsewhere. We’re physically present but mentally absent. We hear without listening. We answer without thinking.
But, if there’s one simple, amazingly effective way to change your life and enhance the experience of the people around you, all you need to do is start paying attention.
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In many ways we could describe this as a form of mindfulness. You bring your focus to the person you’re with, even if it’s for a few brief moments, and become fully aware of their presence. You listen. You look. You acknowledge their presence. You smile and make them feel welcome. It’s a fundamental quality of human wellbeing that we function more efficiently when we feel that we exist in the hearts and minds of others. People will notice the difference. It isn’t in any way intrusive. It’s simply a more sincere form of social engagement that will instantly remind you that you have the power to make a positive difference in the lives of others just by being present with them. It’s an absolute tonic for your more personal relationships. Taking the time to be really present with your partner, to listen, to smile, to acknowledge their presence and everything they’re thinking and feeling. That’s a level of sharing that can restore so much energy to a relationship. You might begin to appreciate why you’re with this amazing person in the first place. It’s a treasure house of potential happiness that deserves to be re-visited every single day.
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