Light and Darkness

Abandoned by her birth mother at the age of four, Baby Halder grew up in a state of neglect. Her father was abusive and her stepmother forced her to drop out of school in when she was in sixth grade.

“I remember the house being full of guests one day. I was taken away from my friends while I was playing with them, forced to wear a saree and made to sit in a mandap with an older man I had never seen before. I kept thinking it was a pooja until I was asked to accompany him home.”

She soon realised that the pooja was a marriage ceremony and the “older man”, 14 years her senior, was now her husband. She was 12 years old then.

The following year, while her friends studied or played, Baby became a mother for the first time. Two more babies followed in quick succession. How she experienced life had not changed after marriage. From one abusive household to another, her husband’s atrocities started on the first night of her marriage and continued for over a decade.

At age 25, Halder now a mother of three, took the bold decision to leave her husband. She escaped on a train to Delhi with her children to start a new life.

She began her life in Delhi with a dream to educate her children so that they would have a brighter future and better quality of life. She worked as a domestic help in several homes, where she was often looked down upon for being a single parent.

This was the darkest hour before dawn. Her life turned around when she started working at the home of writer and retired anthropology Professor Prabodh Kumar in Gurugram. He is the grandson of famous Indian writer and dramatist, Munshi Premchand.

Professor Kumar would notice how Baby would slow down while dusting his bookshelf. He followed his instinct and decided to offer her a few books by Bengali authors and encouraged her to read. Her first book was Amar Meyebela (My Girlhood) by Taslima Nasrin. Reading Amar Meyebela felt like reading her own story. She soon began reading other books written recommended by Professor Kumar.

Sometime later, when Professor Kumar was to travel, he handed Baby a blank notebook and a pen asking her to write.

Looking at the blank notebook, she wondered what she could write about? Her childhood that was mercilessly robbed from her, an abusive marriage, becoming a mother when she was a child herself or the snide remarks about being a single mother and a housemaid. Maybe all of it.

She hadn’t written in a notebook for over two decades, however, that didn’t hold her back. As she began writing, all the pain that she was holding within found an outlet. Writing her own story felt cathartic.

When Professor Kumar returned, Baby had already written 100 pages. Reading her story moved him deeply. These pages became the manuscript of Halder’s first book, a memoir called Aalo Aandhari (Light and Darkness).

Professor Kumar and his friends from the literary circle began looking for a publisher. After a series of rejections, Roshani Publishers, a small publishing house in Kolkata, decided to publish it.

Aalo Aandhari got published in 2002 and got a lot of love from readers right from the beginning. Readers from different walks of life embraced the book. The raw emotions of the story touched many hearts.

The English translation of her book was published in 2006, and it became a bestseller. The New York Times called it India’s Angela’s Ashes. Eventually the book got translated in 21 local and 13 foreign languages.

Halder has written two more books since then. She says,

“Writing gave me the identity I never had. It is my life.”

Her writing career helped her become financially independent. As per latest updates, Baby has moved to Kolkata where she lives with her children, Subodh, Tapas and Piya.

Several aspects of this remarkable story fascinate me, but two that stood out the most were: Professor Kumar’s perceptiveness and the impact of his support on Baby’s life - his approach towards helping Baby kindle her interest in reading and writing was not only touching but also very inspiring.

Equally important was Baby's willingness to accept guidance and take the first step. It must have taken immense courage to put out her story into the world, with undiluted vulnerability. Her story also shows how it's never too late to discover that which is good and great within us. If we could give ourselves a chance to nurture it, life could take a very different turn and hitherto unknown opportunities and avenues may show up.

Also, how would it be to observe those around us to notice a spark within them and give them a gentle nudge to shine bright?

What better time than the new year to consider these possibilities!

Would love to hear your thoughts and reflections ??.