The light and dark side of high performance

A few weeks ago I was making my regular drive through the New Zealand countryside between Tauranga and Auckland. It is quintessentially beautiful, full of emerald green pastures that are the backbone of the nation’s dairy industry. I typically utilise this time for a bit of learning, so on this particular morning I was half immersed in my own thoughts and half listening to a podcast that I enjoy called the Art of Manliness. I don’t remember the name of the actual episode but I do remember the story. It was about Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett. In an interview, Hammett was asked whether or not he thought he would be famous and rich, to which he replied that he “didn’t set out to find fame and money, but set out to master [his] craft”. He then profoundly said: “Those who were driven by fame are playing summer concerts at amusement parks, whereas I’m just as satisfied playing in my garage with my buddies as I am at Wembley in front of 80,000 fans”. I just love playing my guitar and getting better.

This thought lingered with me a few days. As I reflected on the high performers that I have observed and coached over the last number of years, and found myself wondering

How many began their pursuit of greatness from the purity of mastery, and as pressure emerged began to slowly and subtly move into the prison of perfectionism?

The challenging problem in coaching is the fact that mastery and perfection can often look the same. We have all seen those hugely driven performers who are prepared to do anything to be the best. They are often held up as role models of work ethic and dedication. But sometimes lying beneath this facade is a dark and destructive side. A darkness that has significant impact on our mental health and on performance. I can’t tell you the number of conversations I have had with some of these performers who are tormented by a lack of true identity, who can’t enjoy their success, who are derailed by failure and who find the expectation of being great a unbearable burden. These characteristics are a sure sign that perfectionism has taken a hold of someone's performance mindset and paradigm. It has left them with no clear identity anchors, no way to find joy, and no tools to deal with failure. 

As coaches I think we all need to get better at helping our people get out of this dangerous cycle and return to the purity of mastery. It's tough because perfectionism will produce good performances from time to time. However it's not sustainable and what is the collateral damage to the performer as they sacrifice their wellbeing on the altar of outcome?

What I have tried to do is create a contrast to illustrate that even though it may look the same the motives of mastery and perfection are radically different. I want to look at some key foundational performance pillars and examine how each motive is expressed. The goal was to help both athletes and coaches see if some of these realities have crept into their thoughts, feeling and actions.

Identity:

Mastery: “My identity is not derived from my performance, but my performance is a vehicle to express my identity. I know who I am and don’t need my sport to define that”

Perfectionism: “My performance is where I find my identity and self worth, therefore I can’t afford to be anything but perfect.”

Source of Wellbeing:

Mastery: “My source of joy and sense of accomplishment come from getting immersed in my craft and trying to find out how good I can get.”

Perfectionism: “I live on an emotional roller coaster and my wellbeing is determined by my performance. I need to be perfect to feel good about myself. If I don’t get this I become anxious and desperate.”

Motivation and Fuel for Working Hard:

Mastery: “Everyday is an opportunity to grow in my skill, and though the process is demanding the reward of mastery makes it worth it.”

Perfectionism: “I will stay committed, focused and engaged as long as I get some reward from my efforts.”

Values / Standards:

Mastery: “I will stay true to my standards and values and unwilling to compromise them as they are the pathway for long term and sustainable excellency.”

Perfectionism: “I will do whatever needs to be done to get the outcome I need, even if that means pushing the boundaries of my values and standards.”

I hope that gives a bit of insight some we can begin to pick up some of the “dark side” of high performance and return back to the free and pure place of simply loving our craft and loving the pursuit of mastery. I think the by-product will be athletes who are actually enjoy what they do, wake up excited in the morning to go to work, who are deeply aware of the privilege they have and embrace pressure as an opportunity rather than a threat.