Lifestyle coaching - the "ing" effect

What does it take to transform one's lifestyle? It all started with a casual office conversation about fitness and health. I found myself saying, "It's become quite some entertainment for you guys. You listen and literally do nothing, you just feel good about it that you know something. There is no commitment or conviction to do something about it." I then challenged them, "Pay me a commitment fee and let's see what we can do in three months." To my surprise, one of them transferred the money, and our journey began.

We created a WhatsApp group named "Lifestyle Tracking - <Name>". The expectation was that he would send his parameters (weight, BMI, fat% etc) recorded first thing in the morning and send pictures of everything he eats. Over time, it evolved to tracking how many steps he was covering in the day, setting targets on steps, moving towards running, and tracking his personal records in running. Essentially, we were tracking movements throughout the day.

In this age, each one of us is exposed to more information than humans have ever been exposed to. With so much information at hand in terms of do's and don'ts for specific personalities, medical tests dissecting us and detailing out the issues, and specific remedies available to overcome, it is quite a puzzle on why it is hard to follow what is needed for our well being.

When I discussed with my clients, I did not set the goal as weight loss or body fat reduction or say running a 10k or any other objective goal which can be achieved and be done with. The focus was on the process, the journey towards a goal that is ever-evolving and never fully achieved. The effort had to be on a continuous basis to keep up with the goal. So the goal I put up was habit forming for sensible eating and conscious living.

Habit forming is a process. What habit is always a choice, some are hard, some are easy to form but it's a continuous process demanding constant effort if we want to do it consciously. The journey of when motivation drives discipline to how discipline results in motivation is a thrilling one. And the fact that it is so easy and quick to fall back, losing what has been built over time, makes it much more interesting.

We often hear stories from the past saying, "I never gained weight no matter how much I ate," or "Once upon a time, I had a six-pack," or "I used to bench press so much weight, run so many kilometers." All these are pacifying statements stopping ourselves from looking at the reality, postponing the action that needs to be taken now. As the body and mind age, we are becoming full of ourselves, while they are becoming weaker to do something new. So the later it is, the harder it is.

Fitness and Health are not necessarily the same, much like the stock market and the economy. So any parameter be it weight, BMI, fat percent, blood markers cannot be looked at in isolation and optimised for one or two. These can be good indicators for progress but not good to be taken as goals. They are good as a by-product without having expectations of any timeline or an absolute number to get to. While it is not so easy to stick to this thought process, this is a key ingredient in the coaching process.

Fast forward five months with six clients, it has been nothing but a fulfilling experience. I will never be able to call myself a "lifestyle coach", it is only lifestyle coach"ing". The "ing" is what makes all the difference, as it is not about me, it is all about how both together it forms a being of its own which works towards the goal.

I realised it is not about nutrition alone, neither about physical activity, nor just about sleep, or about stress management. In the world of metrics, there is a need for external validation. If it turns out as expected, it's a happy place; otherwise, it pushes back ten steps while raising doubt on the path taken.

In the current times, ROI and efficiency have been borrowed from business, and we look at life processes and measure them in a similar fashion. We ask, "how quickly can I lose weight or get a six-pack or bring down my sugar or cholesterol levels?" Doing something in a sustainable way is what can yield something worthwhile. There are not many paths to take, it is more about deciding to be on a path long enough to really experience it. The loss of not doing something or being indecisive (i.e., switching between multiple paths) versus being on a path consistently is what will define the life we live.

The learning I have been going through in lifestyle coaching is enormous. Every pair of me and my client is unique. What works for one does not work for the other. What words work for one, pushes the other in the opposite direction. It's a continuous discovery, a continuous exploration of them with myself. There is a hope that something will make them stick on a path, but it can never be taken for granted. However, after roughly five weeks, there is always something that strikes, and they do start trusting the process and the path they are on.

It's about walking the path with them, being a reflection for them in their highs and lows, nudging them, standing by them, supporting them on this path. The goal is for them to get into the routine and then be able to replace me with their own persona to do what I did with them in those three months. This journey of transformation is not just about them, but also about me, as we both grow and evolve together.