Life's Unwanted Dance Partner

As with all parties especially good ones, there is good music, music which helps illicit the wildest of emotions. When there is music there is always an opportunity to dance. I can remember early on in life my dance partner was an unbridled joy. She was a pleasure to dance with as she made me feel good about everything and everyone. She danced with me often when I was young it seems as if she would never let me get off the dance floor sometimes yet she would allow others to dance with me when she tired of me. The next dance partner came as somewhat of a surprise as she cut in on my dance with joy and was extremely rude. I later began to hate the music which was playing as this dance partner made me feel deep sadness and was one which was hard to remove from the dance floor. I came to fear her as when she was around there was a profound loss, and for the first time, I felt I was tired of dancing. The music changed though and I had a new dance partner she was ego she was intoxicating and made me feel invincible and always right. She often had me dancing to erratic beats one which only I could dance to as when she and I danced the dance floor emptied. I liked dancing with her but I didn’t like the feeling of dancing alone so I began to dance with her less and less as the party went on as she was not inviting to others. The next dance partner who would swoop me off my feet she was personal accomplishment she made me feel proud of myself as she would always show up when I perfected new dance moves those which others thought I was incapable of. I danced with her as often as I could and began to chase her more and more as I loved how she made me feel. The DJ though changed something with the music and was more brooding. The bass far heavier and deeper not many of my previous dance partners would be around during this time even though I looked to see them in the crowd they were no longer there. I looked again and no one was on the dance floor but me. I tried to walk off the dance floor as I assumed the party was over but as I walked towards the exit I was swept off my feet back on to the dance floor. This time I could not see my dance partner no matter how hard I looked as I thought I must be sleep yet I was not. She spun me around until I could no longer find the beat in the music nor the floor beneath my feet. I felt lethargic and sad with an absence of hope. I didn’t recognize this dance partner as she was a combination of everything around me. She inhaled my pain, grief, sadness, disappointment, and sense of loss. Who was this dance partner I no longer wish to dance with her? Why won’t the DJ stop the music I am tired so tired. This dance seems to go on forever with this deep dark brooding music which has run everyone off of the dance floor. My dance partner has made me a pariah to myself and others no one wants to dance with me anymore. Why is she still here dancing with me I am unable to stop this dance and I am tired of it. Do I look to see where has the one dance partner I haven’t danced within a while maybe a long while where is she? Where is the joy I loved dancing with her? Where is happiness she was the life of the party? Where was self-accomplishment she let me show off the moves no one knew I had. Where are all the other dance partners those who made me feel good? It must be the DJ he has to select better music so they may return. I look at my feet are moving to this dreaded music and see a glimpse of whom I have been dancing with. She is so mysterious in her appearance she looks so familiar she resembles someone close to me I don’t know who which is even more bothersome. As I try to end this dance with her I finally ask her what is your name? She answers I am depression. I ask her why did she choose me as a dance partner? She replies “I didn’t, you chose me”. I look befuddled and slightly angered as why would I chose her she is a terrible dance partner. I look once again at the DJ booth and see myself which confuses me as for how could I be in two places at the same time. I go over to the DJ just to see if my eyes are playing tricks on me only to see they are not. So I ask the DJ to change the music as I don’t like this music as it has run off all of the other dance partners I enjoy dancing with. As I am asking him to change the music I realize it is my lips which are moving and that the DJ is, in fact, a mirror and the choice of music is mine to change……………………