Life’s Not That Short: Here’s Why We’re Wasteful of It

This is Chapter 2 of the Ultimate Simple Guide to Life series.

• Read the Introduction to The Ultimate Simple Guide to Life
• Chapter 1 | How I Used Death to Set My Life Goals
• Chapter 2 | Life’s Not That Short: Here’s Why We’re Wasteful of It
• Chapter 3 (Part 1) | How to Defeat the 8 Fears Holding You Back From Your Dream Life
• Chapter 3 (Part 2) | Boogying with the Boogeyman: How I Used Fear-Setting to Tango Through Terror

I looked up to the surface, thrashing my arms and legs harder, faster, but I wasn’t getting any closer, I was being sucked further down. I could feel my chest starting to shake uncontrollably, convulsing, without knowing what that meant. I finally understand what people mean when they say terrified. Eyes bulging, panicking, trying anything and everything to save myself. Failing to swallow the little air I have left in my mouth, again and again, feeling every inch of my throat contract, but there is nothing left. Every second feels like an eternity.

I’m clinging to life by a thread and yet I’ve never felt so present.?

My eyes start to close. Is this it? At 7 years old in the wave pool of a popular Parisian water park surrounded by the muffled sounds of yelling children, the taste of chlorine, submerged in what's probably an obscene amount of urine.?

Is this really how I’m going to die?

I think of my mother, father, brother, friends. What will they think?? My dreams and aspirations, I will never experience them. My bed, the playground, my dog, the simple things, the comforts of my life. Never again.

By some stroke of luck, fate, faith, or whatever you want to call it, the wave pool’s suction stops, and my lips reach the surface just in time to breathe in the oxygen I desperately need.?

I’m in shock, the lifeguard yelling at me isn’t processed by my brain for 23 seconds, as I mindlessly walk my way out of the pool. I am not present.

“WHAT THE F**K WERE YOU DOING?” he cluelessly yells at me in French.

“WHAT THE F**K WERE YOU DOING?!” I yelled back in French, adding, “I WAS DROWNING YOU IDIOT.? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE LIFEGUARD!”

Although I’m proud of my self-advocacy skills as a 7-year-old, I’m really sharing this story because it illustrates three crucial lessons about time.

1. When the stakes are high, we become present. Our attention goes where our physiology demands.
2. When the stakes are low, we tend to be distracted by thoughts of the past or future and lose our sense of presence.
3. It is not that we are given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it. – Seneca

And yet, even then, staring at the pool's surface, I couldn't foresee how crucial those early lessons about our perception of time would become.

Flash forward to my 20-year-old self, 13 years after one of my most formative childhood experiences.? Did that version of me, at that time in my life, remember how close I came to death and the lessons learned?

Hell no!?

I was a clueless college kid just barely managing to put pen to paper when it came to describing what I wanted my average and ideal days to look like.?

Even after drafting my supposed goals and dreams , with every intention of finally doing something about it, it would have been so easy to stash my freshly completed goal-setting documents in the metaphorical “someday maybe” drawer.?

Even with all the dopamine flooding my brain at the thought of possibly living the exciting and aspirational life I’d written down.?

Even with all of the momentum and motivation that came with it.??

The decision to stash my goals away or take the first step towards one of them, no matter how small, could have been the moment that ended everything before even getting started.

Thankfully, I do not like the “someday maybe” drawer, not now, not ever. It’s where all great ideas, motivations, and dreams go to die.

So, in order to really light a fire under my butt, raise the stakes, and honor the second chance I got to live life to its fullest, I took the first step by reading some resources that:

• put time and the shortness of life into perspective
• made me internalize just how important it was to act now
• and immortalized my near-death lessons about time.

Here are the best resources, in order, I’ve come across that helped me act immediately.

I emphasize immediately because, as I mentioned in Chapter 1 on Goals using the words of Alain de Botton , "It’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along." Don't let hesitation be the reason your life was wasted.

I highly recommend going through each of these directly, but I’ve shared my personal key lessons and action steps to summarize how each of them was effective for me below:?

1. The Tail End | Tim Urban
2. On the Shortness of Life - An Introduction to Seneca | Tim Ferriss
3. Five Graphs That Will Change Your Life | Behavior Hack

Here’s How I Used The Resources

The Tail End | by Tim Urban showed me my entire life on one page, and the shocking thing was...

I had already spent over one-fourth of it, 1 already spent out of only 4 I would get.?

When I finally got out of school, I felt that I was just getting started.

But the truth was, I wasn't aware enough as a kid to understand that I was spending the first of only 4 quarters of my life.

During that time I always wanted to be older, despite all the adults in my life telling me that I should cherish these years while they last.? I didn't understand what they were trying to tell me, but, of course, they were right.

On top of that, The Tail End showed me that...

at age 21, I had already spent the vast majority of the total time I would ever have with my parents.

If I wanted to stay close to them, I would need to make a conscious effort to go see them regularly, especially when living in different countries.

Overall, I realized that visualizing every day, of my entire life, on a small screen, helps me raise the stakes, to see and feel the urgency necessary to act now. It’s a self-induced way of changing my physiology to change my attention, become present, and take advantage of this state to push through fears or discomfort, but more on that later.

Every day that goes by brings me one day closer to my death. One less day where I get to do, experience, or share the things I want to with the people that matter to me.?

One less day to see, hug, or feel the love and my sense of meaning from my family, friends, and loved ones.?

One less day to feel the excitement of climbing in the Himalayas, skiing in Japan, diving with sharks in the Great Barrier Reef, seeing the ancient world wonders, or jumping out of a plane.

One less day to accomplish my goals, help someone in need, pursue my passion, launch my business, and feel the raw ecstasy and profound fulfillment of overcoming “impossible” challenges.?

One less day to do, be, or feel the ways you’ve always wanted.

It is the visualization of these facts, and consciously seeing them deplete every day, that pushed me to make a decision to build a life that would allow me to do the things I want.

It is my memento mori and I put on a pendant every morning as the physical symbol of this fact, to remind me that every day is a gift and, by putting my necklace on, I am committing to appreciate the day ahead.

You can use any kind of physical object that holds special meaning for you, to put on in the morning and take off at night as a reminder to recommit yourself.

On the Shortness of Life - An Introduction to Seneca | Summary by Tim Ferriss explained why and how we, as humans, tend to be wasteful of our time.

It also helped me put together a mental checklist of the ways I want to live my life thoughtfully and the time-wasting traps I want to avoid.

By knowing how most people waste their time and knowing how I wanted to maximize my own, I was able to focus on the things that mattered.

Five Graphs That Will Change Your Life |by Behavior Hack serves as a quick reminder of these major ideas that I can revisit frequently to ensure I don't forget what's most important to me in life.

You're probably thinking all of this is pretty morbid and draining to think about. I feel that way too sometimes. This quick clip is my solution to getting those reminders without the mental effort.

After seeing just how many days I had left, especially with the people I love, and realizing that I was already in the “Tail End” for most of the things I wanted to do, it became abundantly clear that I needed to act.?

The problem was, as soon as that became clear, all the fears and responsibilities associated with actually acting started pouring in. It’s hard to catch a break on the road to self-improvement.

That’s what brings us to the most important part of this guide…

• Next: Chapter 3 (Part 1) | How to Defeat the 8 Fears Holding You Back From Your Dream Life

• Read the Introduction to The Ultimate Simple Guide to Life
• Chapter 1 | How I Used Death to Set My Life Goals
• Chapter 2 | Life’s Not That Short: Here’s Why We’re Wasteful of It
• Chapter 3 (Part 1) | How to Defeat the 8 Fears Holding You Back From Your Dream Life
• Chapter 3 (Part 2) | Boogying with the Boogeyman: How I Used Fear-Setting to Tango Through Terror

If you liked this article, please like, comment with your thoughts, and share with anyone who might benefit. Thank you. Also, connect with me and I'll let you know when the next chapters are published :)

Have you had any near-death experiences?

How has your perception of time changed over the span of your life?

Do you think life is short, or long, or that we're wasteful of it?

Share your thoughts in the comments :)