Life's Journey; Glass Half Full

Like millions of others in this country and worldwide, you have undoubtedly experienced what has been and likely will forever be the most memorable moment in time. I wouldn't know where to begin with highlighting the life lasting moments 2020 had to offer! Well, I could start with the economic effects and catastrophic loss of life brought on by the coronavirus pandemic. The reporting on loss of life due to this pandemic became so commonplace, it sometimes felt like a footnote for the many influential public figures we lost along the way. We would be sure to add something personal for me in the form of a call for racial justice following the murder of George Floyd. Sprinkle in a very fractured political infrastructure which concluded with a highly contentious US election. I suppose we should include other events which during any other year would be on top of the daily news cycle; natural disasters throughout the country (fires in California and the impact to the Gulf of Mexico following a record number of hurricanes).  This is a broad lens which I’m sure misses the mark on other noteworthy events.

I presume many of you may have a personal connection to any number of these events. The collective is so enormous it's almost impossible not to have experienced them in some way. So much so it's easy to say, “I can’t wait until 2020 is gone!”. Truly a lot of emptiness; Not a glass half full or empty, but empty! I’ve heard so many remarks from “I’m surviving”; “happy to still be here”; “one day at a time”; “waiting for the next shoe to drop” during a general greeting of the day. So much uncertainty and I get it. But what happens when we start considering those events that were not so pronounced? Those events that brought about a smile, laughter, and grace. Suppose we consider how much we’ve learned about ourselves, appreciation, and perspective of life. 

One could consider all that has occurred through a more spiritual lens. What if we consider how this “pause” in our lives provided us an opportunity to unearth all the not so good things about ourselves which made a home in our spirit based on life experiences. Things we knew were there but never wanted to confront. If you were fortunate enough to acknowledge and confront these experiences, then I suspect you were able to recognize it as a blessing and encouraged to see brighter days ahead. 

I recently noted, and now reference, a mantra authored by Andrew Solomon. His mantra is “forge meaning, build identity”. After listening to his very powerful TED Talk, my interpretation of that mantra was you take whatever challenges you were dealt in your life and embrace them in a way that allows you to take ownership and not be a victim. Take those life lessons and use them to build community. One could also reference common phrases often used to glean positives out of something negative; “Make lemonade of lemons''; “Glass Half Full v Half Empty”. 

It's really about perspective. Is your glass half full or half empty? And if it's the latter, have you considered ways to change that perspective? If not, I would like to offer an idea/mindset to contemplate. 

Let’s call it “The Best In...” theme. The idea is to identify something (or several things) that occurred over the last year that felt rewarding. We can interpret “the best in'' as a feel-good moment; a moment of enlightenment; a courageous moment. Something you may have accomplished; deed you provided; people/person you met; a local, national, or global event which was a societal good. “The Best In..” category can be presented from any perspective you choose to focus. The following are mine.

Best in Me - I suffer from anxiety. It wasn’t until recent years I realized that was a condition I’ve buried for years. I have unearthed the impact it has had in my life and that’s really a story for a different article. During this year, I committed myself to daily mindfulness meditation as a method of settling my thoughts and focus. The results have allowed me to not only manage my own emotions and uncertainty more consciously but become an effective supporter and provider for others. 

Two individuals very close to me were diagnosed with cancer this year. For those of you who have witnessed and/or experienced cancer firsthand realize how devastating this reality is for so many. Additionally, I lost my uncle rather suddenly a few months ago. His passing was not Covid-19 related, however, the reality of the coronavirus pandemic and its impact was apparent given the cold and sobering absence of a formal funeral ceremony. Governing the emotions of not being able to participate in such services while protecting yourself and others introduced another level of competing emotions. It was super important that I support my mother and others in the family at that moment. Extremely fragile circumstances during a pandemic.  I was fortunate enough to be available physically, mentally, and spiritually to support them when they needed it most. I found myself time and time again acknowledging how fortunate I’ve been in life. Not out of guilt, but more purposeful. What that little voice elicit in me was to give all I could to others. 

There is an impulsive and sincere gesture the character Dr. Max Goodwin, Medical Director, from the show “New Amsterdam” would ask whenever there was a problem brought to his attention. The question he would ask is “How can I help?”. No matter the situation, small or large; arduous or mundane; offering support and acting on it can be a life changer for someone. I’d like to think this brought out “The Best in me”.

Best in Society - As I’ve mentioned in a previous passage, were it not for coronavirus pandemic, one could opine if we would have had the opportunity to magnify the other pandemic of racism. The uncertainty and break from “all-things-entertainment” rendered a global cry to face systematic racism head on. As a result, society has acknowledged and put forth an effort to confront race and other “isms”. Unearthing and confronting; I’d like to think this brought out “The Best in Society”. 

Best in Individuals - There are so many individuals who put their lives on the line during a time of so much uncertainty. Healthcare providers and first responders; Essential workers; Agricultural workers and Employers. All for the sake of humanity. Acknowledging this fact generates empathy and support, which drives unity. The level of personal and private donations to all the aforementioned and hundreds of others is the epitome of the ideals of our country. During a time when we are so divided, the public outpour of support is a very encouraging sign of our ability to unite once more.  I’d like to think this brought out “The Best in Individuals”.

Best in Laugh - Amidst all the other “not-so-funny” circumstances in recent months, there were quite a few jewels I was able to enjoy. From comedic projects presented by the likes of Dave Chapelle and others to the many viral posts in the social media ether. I have this one circle of friends whom we share posts thought to be hilarious.  My brother (who is one of those cancer survivors I alluded to above) and I have a rather twisted sense of humor at times and we share some of the craziest posts during the early morning hours. We found this to be somewhat therapeutic for us both. Laughter is one of the best medicines…. All natural and authentic! I’d like to think this brought out “The Best in Laugh”.

As we prepare to conclude this calendar year of 2020, many feel it's a time to reflect and define resolutions for the upcoming year. Personally, I’m not big on scheduling(or in my case delaying) a change in my life’s goals. As the saying goes “Why put off until tomorrow what you can do  today”. Your commitment to such a change or goal is what matters. My goal was to improve my daily mindful meditation. The date of that commitment is something I would struggle to tell you for I didn’t define a date/time. I just committed to it one day. The point I’m attempting to make is while 2020 is a year many can’t wait to end, maybe consider the moment you decide to commit to change versus days within a calendar year.  Your commitment defines when it's time to reset and start anew. Continue pouring into that half-full glass from 2020 as we “revolve” into 2021.