Life's Greatest Mystery

Why is it so hard to be honest? So hard to let your guard down with the people in your life and allow them to accept you for who you truly are at all times? Why can’t we just fully express our feelings, intentions, wants and desires with all people we come in contact with whether they are good or bad? Wouldn’t that be easier for us all, to just be real, open and courageous enough to share the experience that we would desire to have in this interaction. I believe it would be something special when we recognized the power in integrity and the peace that comes with honesty. Why does it feel like we are rehearsing the truth and fluently flowing out lies in our conversations, throughout our relationships and in the midst of our interactions. Has the world made it okay to lie, is telling the truth so challenging, or are we so insecure or unsure about who we truly are that it leads us to painting a picture and showing the world, while altering the most beautiful colors of ourselves in the process. The emotions we experience, the perspectives that challenge status quo, the desires that we have inside that we sometimes don’t feel comfortable to share with the world, or even our deepest fears that we recognize may push people away. I’ll tell you what honesty represents; strength, courage and power.?

What Does Honesty Represent?

Honesty represents legacy and is the seed we plant that waters the reputation that we will leave when are body returns back to the dirt. Integrity, in all things, is the natural ingredient that is absolutely necessary as we prepare to cook our calling and become all things that we are intended to become. This virus of lies that we have allowed to spread through our relationships, business interactions and within ourselves is killing the very nature that God intended for us to live out here on earth. It is leading to beautiful relationships burning, innovative companies ending, and the potential of powerful people being destroyed. This virus, however, has a longer term approach on your wellbeing and is different than a gunshot, because it takes time to fester and slowly eat away at your character, reputation and everything that was once healthy and pure over time becomes manipulative, cold, while lacking empathy and compassion. I’ve realized this virus has found its way to me too many times throughout my life, not knowing its origin but continuing to know the catalyst for its rapid growth and internal destruction. Yet like most diseases and killers in the African American culture, it is our diets and choices that allow our bodies to internally decay leading to our dreams and callings being slowly taken from the world.?

Through any season of transformation, it’s not always about what you are doing that makes the most difference, it often is about what you choose to sacrifice out of your diet and lifestyle that make all the difference. It’s about not sacrificing the people in our life that continue to have a hold on you and you refuse to set boundaries, cut chords while recognizing where you are going can no longer have them to be a part of your new mission. It is about changing your pallet of conversation and what you consume. It is about taking accountability for all of your actions, but before an action takes place, being considerate of the other person and how that would affect their experience. It is about sharing freely, communicating honestly, and being willing to make adjustments that will cause you to get back in balance and in alignment with who God is intending for you to be. It is about being true to your word, honoring your commitments with excellence and understanding that apologies don’t hold any value without change in behavior, action and perspective. What is required may bring temporary discomfort, but is essential for long term development of what has the potential to be built and developed.?

Finding Your Center and Alignment?

The hardest pill I’ve had to swallow is the pill of lack alignment and balance, when I recognize who I communicate that I am, is so far from what my actions have been communicating for years. I am not the person that people see, admire or love, I have created an image of that person and continued to lie, front and put on, in order to stay on, without realizing that it is these behaviors that have not allowed me to rise. I could blame my upbringing, my influences, the world around me and so many things, but that would exonerate me from the responsibility that I have on my life and the choices that I still had the free will to make. The root may be your history and what you’ve been through, but the responsibility is now which will take you to where you need to be. I have to stop blaming my circumstance for the situations I knew would be created from my choices. The only question that matters is not where did this begin, but when does this end? Once you are aware of what your actions have caused, it is the mark of a good man, to change them immediately before the ripple of pride and pain continue.?

Once you know the problems, fix it and figure out the solutions immediately so that you can create better experiences with the time you still have left in this world. It is not about putting a shield up from your insecurities, flaws, flaws, mistakes, choices and current circumstances, because when you do, the world is not allowed to support you and you continue to suffer alone. Rather being alone through this journey of finding your path and walking your road, you must allow the world to see you for who you truly are, where you are, because it allows God to position people in your life that can really help, mold and benefit you towards not recreating the cycle of pain and disappointment. Life is not about having all of the answers to share with people, it is about sharing with people the questions that you have about life, in order for us to unify and work through the answers together. Integrity is the foundation to living a peaceful and joyful life, not opportunities, not people, not location, or resources.?

It is integrity because it allows you to be free, walk freely and be the actual person that you are inside, while aligning your choices, wants, desires, relationships and opportunities with that very person. If you continue to minimize your wants, desires, and not be mindful of who you are, it doesn’t matter how much the world gives you, God will never grant you what is promised until you stand courageous in your power by first being honest with yourself. It is okay to not want the relationship anymore that you’ve invested so much into. It is okay to remove friends out of your life that have been there for so long and you have history with. It is okay to not be in the best financial position and it’s also okay to not know how to get yourself out of it. It is okay not to have everything together and to have a bit of debt and outstanding bills. It is okay to not want to be married at that specific time or to change your mind throughout life’s experiences. It is okay to say no to things you actually don’t want to do or to not commit to things you know won’t bring you peace or joy. It is okay to change careers, to go back to school, or to leave the country without letting anyone know.?

It is okay to make choices that make you happy and bring you joy; but it is not okay to lie, manipulate, and be dishonest through your pursuit of choosing what happiness looks like to you. What you want in life will threaten and interfere with what others want for you and with you; but how you get what you truly want is by setting boundaries, communicating honestly, moving with consideration and compassion and reflecting before revealing any desire. Because I have failed, does not make me a failure. - Because I have lost, does not make me a loser. - Because I don’t have the answer, does not make me less worthy or deserving of asking the question. Your lack, flaw, insecurity, and gap in your life is what is holding you back from who you are called to be and what you are deserving of experiencing. This same lack, flaw, insecurity, and gap in your life will serve as your superpower, all it takes is sharing, being willing to receive assistance and support, being open with asking the right questions, and remaining committed to the process that it takes to filling the gap and at the same time it will fill your love tank.?

It’s Time For You to Let Go

Do not walk in shame for what you have done, who you have been, and what you’ve caused or created. - Give yourself grace to fall, forgive yourself through mistakes, and smile at times where you are feeling unsuccessful. - Plant your feet strong in the cement of integrity and do not waiver on your values and character. - Silence the noise around you in order to begin listening to the voice inside of you. - Reflect on the responsibilities prior to making any commitment - Through every interaction, walk with compassion, love, grace and consideration - Communicate your wants and needs clearly while being willing to set boundaries or have them set with you - Think about the consequence of your action, before you act. - Show love, give love and be love always - Be comfortable being in temporary discomfort, because it serves as the strength to develop who you are. Integrity is the foundation to life’s greatest mystery as we continue to ask ourselves, who am I really? My prayer is that when you find the answer it is not too late and that you still have time to walk with that person for a while.?