Life's Diplomacy: Negotiating Inner Conflicts and Life’s Twists and Turns

Dear Wisdom Seeker,

Life is often compared to a journey, but it's also a continuous negotiation - a delicate diplomacy of reconciling internal conflicts, navigating unexpected challenges, and bargaining with our dreams and fears. The full road ahead is rarely visible, yet every twist, obstacle, and redirection teaches us something profound about who we are becoming - and unbecoming.

Here is the part of my life story, where diplomacy was lost and later rediscovered...

My childhood dream was to become a diplomat. I can’t pinpoint exactly where that idea came from, probably from the process of elimination as no other profession was remotely appealing to me. Plus, growing up in Ukraine, then part of the Soviet Union, it was one of the few options that offered a chance to see the world. By middle school, I was certain I’d spend my high school years preparing for entrance exams to the Moscow Institute of International Affairs. But life had other plans.

When I was 15, the Soviet Union collapsed and everything changed. Moscow was now in a different country and no longer as accessible for student life. Plus, new opportunities to travel the world became available and my dream of working in International Affairs faded away.

By high school, I decided to follow in my parents’ footsteps and become a doctor. I threw myself into science study, but it quickly became clear to everyone around me that this path was draining the life out of me. I was a shadow of myself, forcing a future I didn’t want. When I finally abandoned the plan, my mom remarked that the colour returned to my face and my energy came back to life. It was as if my body knew the truth before I did.

At some point during university selection, I chose the Institute of Marine Engineers close to where I lived. It seemed like a path that would open doors to international work opportunities. I ended up studying economics there, but quickly realized I didn’t belong. “Economists,” I joked, “are people who are good with numbers but don’t have the personality to become accountants.” But I persevered because quitting was not an option.

Thankfully, during my final years at university, I discovered marketing, and I felt a powerful flow of energy I hadn't experienced in a long time. For the first time, my classes were genuinely exciting, and landing a job at an advertising agency gave me a new sense of purpose. Studying marketing was full of insights into human behavior, influence over how people think and act. It felt fun, energizing and closer to my true path, one that brought me to Canada and would eventually lead me to coaching and transformational work later in life.

Over a decade ago, when I remembered my childhood dream of being a diplomat, I shared it with people close to me. They looked shocked and told me I was “the least diplomatic person they knew.” They were right. At that time, I lost my spark again, was consumed by obsessive workaholism, and struggled to express my needs in a healthy way. I would either avoid speaking up entirely or lash out angrily when my needs weren’t met. I had no diplomacy in my communication with others and wasn’t any better at negotiating with my own inner demons.

Eventually, it was the combination of working with a life coach, going to therapy and training for triathlons that helped me resolve my internal battles. Slowly, I learned how to negotiate for my joy to take the front seat again.

Ironically, even my love of running (my main athletic identity today) began in the most unexpected way. Back when I was finishing my Advertising Diploma in Canada, I made a deliberate choice not to own a TV to avoid distractions. However, I couldn’t resist my love for the show "Friends". To balance my studies with this indulgence, I came up with a creative solution: I’d only allow myself to watch "Friends" at the gym, timing my treadmill runs with the airing of the episodes. That’s how my running journey started - just to watch "Friends"!

To this day, I’m not sure I would have become a runner, or later a triathlete, if I hadn’t came up with that clever compromise, driven purely by the joy of watching a TV show. Sometimes, the smallest, most unexpected choices can open doors to profound transformations.

My most meaningful experience have come from negotiating with my doubts and fears and following what brings me joy.

The idea for this article came to me this weekend when I was binge-watching "The Diplomat" on Netflix during training session on my indoor bike (yes, still multitasking during screen time!) and reflecting on how unpredictable life truly is and how the best parts of it were never something I could have planned.

I keep discovering life's magic in acceptance and surrender to things I can’t control, in seeing obstacles not as rejections but redirections guiding me toward paths I might not have chosen but was always meant to walk.

What about YOU, dear wisdom seeker?

What dreams, detours, or redirections have shaped your path in ways you couldn’t have planned?

Where in your life now are you being called to negotiate with the unexpected?

Take time to reflect: What would happen if you surrendered control and trusted joy to guide you?