Life's Algorithm...Curating What Ends Up In YOUR Daily Feed

Have you ever noticed that life can get a little bit like that movie "Groundhog Day" sometimes?  Where you find yourself in an unwanted yet oh-so-familiar situation thinking, "This AGAIN?!  Why does this always happen to ME?!"

Well, in a word...you.  YOU actually decide what you get more of in your life.  Are you choosing wisely?

Turns out there's an algorithm to life--personally & professionally--not that different from what we experience on Facebook.  Put simply, what you put your attention on, you not only get more of but you also increase the likelihood those around you will get more of it too.

Say what?!

Let's look at an example.

A recent acquaintance from that business mixer your boss made you go to sends a you a Facebook friend request.  He seemed nice enough, so you accept.  Then one day, as you are innocently scrolling through your newsfeed, you see an article he posted showing that he is CLEARLY on the other side of the political aisle.  Not only that...you wonder how the heck he could POSSIBLY believe this drivel.  You can't help yourself.  You just HAVE to set him straight.  

So you make a comment.  You know...to show him how things really are.  He'll have to admit you have a point.

But come on...do people ever admit you have a point when you tell them they are wrong?  Not so much.  Instead, this guy gets defensive & answers back trying to set YOU straight.

Seriously?!  You're not gonna take this sitting down.  You immediately respond with an "Oh hell no..." and off you both go.

12 comments later, friends on both sides of the argument are jumping in to defend the ideas they believe in.  Suddenly you realize Bob from accounting is on THEIR side (and to think...you bought him coffee last week when he rushed your expense reimbursement check.  NEVER AGAIN!   You don't buy coffee for "those people.")

In the span of an hour:

• You've lost your best ally in accounting
• Driven this post higher in the Facebook rankings because of all the comments it has received (half of which were from you) even though you would have preferred nobody ever saw it
• Inadvertently communicated with Facebook that you'd like more posts from this person & links similar to this (because of your high level of interaction)
• Begun to tailor your newsfeed to be an environment that triggers + annoys you rather than a place you enjoy

That's a whole lotta crazy you just created.  Why do you do that to yourself?  Not just on Facebook...but in everyday life?!

Why?!

Well...because it's really hard to look away from a train wreck.  ESPECIALLY one you have opinions about.  And so...you've probably let the "look away" muscle get weak.  You may not have realized it was even happening.

Now what?!

For the next week give this a try: ignore the posts that anger you.  Yep.  Just.  Pass. By.  Better yet, click on that little down arrow in the upper right corner of the post & select, "I don't want to see this."  You can unfollow people (and even stay friends if you want...without being subjected to the bajillion political posts from new acquaintances or cute cat videos your Aunt Carol shares), select not to get posts of a certain type, or block content from pages your friends are talking about that you're just not interested in.  Huh.  Who knew?!

Even better...this skill translates into REAL LIFE!   When you hear a conversation that is headed into the deep, dark corners of Complaints-ville...stop the car.  Make a U-turn back to Solution-town or even a left turn towards What-If-burg.  Because anything that moves towards possibilities is way better than staying on course to a disempowering destination full of "too bad we ended up here again."  YOU'RE driving...don't let yourself forget where you're headed (hopefully a lovely little cottage in Happy Town).  

The farther down negative roads you go, the harder it is to find your way back to the positivity path.  You have to PRACTICE having uplifting, empowering conversations...or you just forget how.

You are the driver of your life.  What winds up in your Facebook feed & the conversations you're part of all start with YOU!  That recent acquaintance from the networking mixer isn't changing his politics & your Aunt Carol won't stop loving cats.  The only thing you have control over is YOU.  How you react, how you engage, & how you curate the interactions to lead you someplace you actually WANT to be.

So grab the wheel my friend.  And set your GPS to take you wherever you want to go.  Might there be detours?  Assuredly.  But you ALWAYS have the power to "recalculate" and find your way to route that will get you back on track!

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Are you ready to "recalculate" your course & build the mental muscles that will keep you from getting sucked into the NONSENSE?!  Click here to become part of Leslie's Penny Perspectives Positivity Community...a place to learn little shifts that can have BIG impacts!