A life without a purpose is a life without a destination - Written by Richard Skaf

Written by Richard Skaf 

Do you ever think about the state of your life and think there is something more important you could be doing? 

We are continually seeking depth, meaning and connection but how do we uncover our sense of purpose in a balanced way without losing ourselves in the pursuit? 

Being in recruitment provides me with the vehicle and platform to truly make a difference in people's lives and through this I have been able to develop deep relationships. 

Having interviewed, mentored and coached more than 2500 people, I am commonly asked: 

“What should I do with my life?” 

“What is my life purpose?” 

"How do I find my purpose? Do I create it? Does it find me?" 

When you get to the core, what people are actually asking is “What can I do with my time that is important?” 

Purpose in your life and career has many benefits. A higher purpose gives you the energy and strength to go outside your comfort zone. It fuels your motivation. Purpose allows you to stop being focused on what other people think. This gives you the vulnerability and courage you need to achieve your big goals. 

Having a purpose larger than me has allowed me to do things, that in retrospect seems effortless to the majority. 

I don’t have to do, what I do every day. I choose to. This was a huge turning point for me.

I can’t say that I have always had this view but definitely as I write this, I’m positive that this statement is a true reflection for me.  

I have decided to put together a series of my top personal questions to help you identity for yourself what is important to you and what can add more meaning to your life. These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. 

? When do you most feel alive or in flow? Think of moments when your heart was singing. Those times when you feel in a state of ease, joy and creativity. What were you doing? 

? If you knew you were going to die 1 year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered? I know this sounds a little morbid and most of us don’t like thinking about death as it freaks us out but thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. One of those advantages is that it forces us to pin point in on what’s actually important in our lives and what’s just superficial and distracting. To take this a step further, ask yourself: 

-What is your legacy going to be? As for legacy, I consider it the punctuation for purpose. 

-What are the stories people are going to tell when you leave the world?  

-What is your memorial going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How can you start working towards that today?  

? What makes you forget to eat or s**t? I love this one! We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Oh s**t, I forgot to have dinner or go to the toilet.” Whatever it is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that captivate you - because they can easily be applied elsewhere. 

? If you had to leave the house all day, every day, where would you go and what would you do – essentially what would you do if you could just do it all the time? Think of that activity or act you could never get tired of doing or imagine you could wake up each and every morning and create your perfect day, what would you choose to do? What most people don’t realise is that passion is the result of action, not the cause of it. Discovering what you’re passionate about in life and what matters to you is a trial-and-error process. Try something new. Then ask yourself: Do I like this? Yes. No. Get a journal and start putting down your feelings, thoughts, actions, and behaviours. None of us know exactly how we feel about an activity until we actually do the activity. 

? How can you better embarrass yourself? Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasise about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself endlessly. But what are those reasons? I can tell you now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you really need to take a deep look at yourself. Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against the herd mentality and to do that is scary.  

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you; chances are the more you need to be doing it. 

? How are you going to save the world? This is a big one for me and the research also believes it, but to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction. Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself but you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfilment. 

? What are you AMAZING at? Think about you’re strongest skills or attributes, what you do extraordinarily well. 

Once you have your answers, look back over them and notice if there are any occurring themes or words. What’s interesting about your answers? What is new? Which answers do you feel drawn towards? 

Why do you need purpose?

If you don’t have purpose in what you do each and every day then you’re missing out and potentially suffering from burnout, negativity, lack of drive and all the other things that come with it. 

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s because they don’t know what’s important to them, and they don’t know what their values are. When you don’t know what your values are, then you’re essentially taking on other people’s values and living other people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery. 

Discovering one’s ‘purpose’ in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you. It’s not about some great achievement, but merely finding a way to spend your limited amount of time well. In order to do that you must be able to execute, and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself and paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself. 

When we shift our focus from just ‘having more’ to ‘being/becoming more’, having more just becomes a natural consequence of that. Intentionally adding value to others goes beyond the mentality of just ‘making a living’. It is about adopting a philosophy that helps us ‘make a life’.  

A ‘purpose’ sounds cliché but it really is worth trying to find.  

It may take time to uncover what that 'purpose' looks like for you, but once you do, everything changes.  

If you would like further advise or mentorship, please don’t hesitate to contact Richard directly. 

Richard's ultimate passion lies within people through the power of connection. What you hire in Richard is a burning desire to inspire greatness in the world. Richard wakes up every day living and breathing his purpose in life, to leave a legacy and make a profound positive change in people. This forms the driving force behind his passion, values and the work he does. Richard loves being able to practice wisdom to nurture, guide and coach people to be the best they can be. This deep purpose has allowed Richard to build entire finance functions and high performing teams by creating an extensive network and everlasting relationships.