Life is what to hold and what to let go

Life is about cultivating what will be rich and fruitful in our lives (holding on) and disregarding that which is toxic and harmful in our lives (letting go). Think about an ivy plant that wishes to flourish: it extends its branches to sturdy objects, like a tree trunk, to promote it's growth and development, but pays no mind to a passing mountain lion who could only serve to destroy it. If the tree contracts a disease and dies, it can no longer provide the ivy with the stability and access to the necessary nutrients such as sunlight that it requires, so it must move on to another source.

In short: hold on to what has value in your life and do what you can to keep it that way, but the moment it's clear that its value is lost and irreplaceable, simply move on devote your energy to the next beneficial source. Life is more about letting go. In that way your mind does not have to keep what is less important to you. Letting go something means you're ready for a new day, new life. A fresh start that is clear. And a light weighted mind and body goes to the right direction always and not the pre occupied one.

But on the right way. If you let it go then, let it go, better kill yourself. But if you try to learn something before you let it go then you are on a good path. After all remember: Everybody and everything can teach you something. Are you ready to hear it? There is a really great book by Richard Bach, who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and it is called Illusions. Supposedly it came to Richard like a lightning bolt almost completely written in his head, and the beginning has a short story in it that talks about letting go of the banks of the river and being thrown into the current and trusting that you will be carried safely to your purpose.

One should have a relationship that bloomed gradually. A relationship that was never characterized by promises but an unwavering trust and faith in each other. We don't bask in the overflowing love. We live in the moments. We cherish the togetherness. We don't talk about the sun, moon and stars. But we are grateful. We meticulously segregate what is important to us and things that can be done away with.

We nurture the relationship with utmost dedication and care. We are kind. We are generous. We are respectful towards each other. We say things not to please but in the best interests of each other. Of course, at times, certain things do not go down well but we are confident of each other's intent. We accept, we refuse, we decline the choices and opinions. We speak our heart and mind. We bare our souls, intimidated and unabashed. We take care of each other's dreams and ambitions. We push each other forward even though that might have temporary consequences.

We also differ. We argue. We debate. We fight tooth and nail literally. We face the downsides. We are reluctant. We are adamant many a times. But we understand. We apologize. Not because everything has a chance of falling apart but we endeavor to rebuild something stronger. There are also times when everything is on the verge of falling apart. But I reminisce the journey— our battles, our victories, our failures and most importantly our survival. And deep down, we both realize that it is truly worth it. I decide to hold on. I stay right there. Amidst nowhere, we still wouldn't mind being stranded with each other, any day, any time.

Sometimes, resistance is just futile. This is what it means by letting go, refusing to accept what is happening is futile. A few years back, while I was in the bus to work, my eyes were drawn to a Star Wars poster “may the forces guide you”. I knew the universe is giving me a message. At that time I was going through a stressful event affected my entire existence. My friend's family had taken legal action against him since he had challenged his mother's will. His brothers did everything they could to break him apart.

They wanted to see him broken mentally but to their disappointment my friend was naturally gifted with a powerful mind and the ability to contain fear. Anyhow, early on one has to learn to depend on no one except myself. Due to that, may be he attracted a useless woman, who was the first to find great pleasure in being against my friend rather than being a support and strength, unable to measure up. This is when he discovered that he has been sleeping with an enemy so to say.

Basically letting go is having the confidence that you will always be guided towards your highest good rather than holding onto the outcome that you seek. Letting go means learning acceptance to change our ways -choosing the wars that are worth fighting for. During this ordeal, which dragged on for a year, I realised I lost a year of being happy and enjoying with my family, who needed me more, I was irritable and tired. This is due to my false sense of loyalty to my friend who failed to appreciate the sacrifices that I made for him.

In general I find it better for myself if I let go of unrequited love, or hurts/pain that I’ve experienced. I find it better to let go of hateful thoughts or thoughts of I should have, I could have a.s.o. It’s better for me if I let go of grudges or revenge feelings. I try hard to let go of things that no matter what I can’t change. I try hard to let go of wanting the last word in an argument or feeling like I am right in arguments. I want to let go as quickly as possible of the negative thoughts about myself, they are a waste of time and I know enough about myself that I can feel good or happy at times. Cheers!