LIFE UPDATE TIME!
But before that, a sauna story ??
Okay, so I go down to the sauna, I pass this ultra-friendly extroverted chick, and I’m just trying to play it cool. We had to wait for a few minutes and we started talking, it turns out she’s a digital nomad too, and she’s been travelling for years and years. Super friendly.
And yeah man, she takes her kit off and we go into the sauna. At this stage in the story, my brain had fully melted, complete emotional decompression. Didn't take long, I know ??
“What the hell is going on?!” Is pretty much my mantra. “How is this real?!”
Then, the person from my last sauna adventure comes in and recognises me. “Oh, hey, how are you?”
So now I’m flanked on both sides by these two friendly Colombian chicks in bikinis, in the sauna… and I’m having an out-of-body experience pretty much ??. My head is in a far away land. My mind was staggering down the street lookin’ for a bloody kebab after a night out, know what I mean?
Pffff, gone.
In other words, at this point reality seems to be outpacing my brain. I’m still thinking like a few days ago. Fortunately the sauna is the sauna, so you can not talk or be seen and it’s kinda okay, it’s more or less normal.
So we finish in the wet sauna and are moving to the dry sauna, and some dude is like “heyyy I know you”. I’ve completely run out of shock and surprise by this stage, but it turns out he was the boyfriend of one of the many ultra-hot-successful people I’ve crushed on and stuttered out a few words to this week. She told him she saw some dude with super colourful-looking crocs. Yeah, that would be me ?? so far out of my depth it’s not even funny.
Okayyyy, it is ??
So we go to the dry sauna and now I’ve actually got a reason to feel woozy… I start to feel how I felt in the hammam in Turkey. Numb hands and feet, tunnel vision, almost slurring my words… so I leave a little early. Before I felt like my mind was outpacing my body, now it actually is!
Okay, that’s quite funny ??
So then I go into the cold jacuzzi with two girls. And something happened there that really threw me off, even more. The really friendly girl next to me calls over to the like, in-house masseuse that takes care of the saunas. And she’s all like, hey, can you bring a bottle of champagne down from the bar?
And the masseuse is all like “of couuuuurse no problem” and they pop it and… my mind is struggling ?? this is a load that my council-estate-brain cannot yet lift ??
So anyway, I’m still stuttering a fair bit, due both to this cold as hell jacuzzi, and the fact that I’m genuinely in shock at sharing it with this woman (among a few others now). Other women from the hot jacuzzi see you can get drinks down and they’re like “we want some wine too! ??”
I try to get out, but I’m trembling so much that I fall and slip back in ??. I’m dead bro ??
The monkey inside my head is switching everything off, putting his jacket on and getting the hell out of there there's a fire in the building!
The croc-guy came and we decided to go back to the sauna to try out the Wim Hof breathing method. I’m along for the ride, I’ve got no idea what’s going on.
So me, the champagne girl and him are doing that in a 73 degree sauna… if you don’t feel like you’re in a dream beforehand, that’ll sort things out ??
And then… yeah. It was the end, there was just this group of friendly girls hanging out with glasses of champagne and wine, and I was just like… this cannot be real. This is like… this is like… something you’d see in a music video or something.
The idea that this could actually be my day-to-day existence now is… simply beyond my wildest dreams.
Anyway, so then the sauna was closing, and they invited me upstairs to the rooftop to order in burgers and pizza and stuff, but that was just… too much to me hahaha. I did go up to look for them, but I really didn’t want to wait. So I go up to the rooftop…
It felt like this ultra-exclusive bar. Well… it is an ultra-exclusive bar. I don’t even know how you’d get in, you’d have to book it and phone in, how do people do these things? You couldn’t get in off the street. Nice music, good lighting, hanging plants everywhere.
Two people all in black greeted me as soon as I left the lift. “Hi! Everything okay? Is this your first time? If you need anything, let us know.”
I swear to god, one of the staff looked like they had just been on TV. How long does it take to do make-up to that degree? Jayyyyyyyzus wept.
Dead! ??
And I’m there in my crocs ????♂? oh sweet black baby jesus.
(Aside: I bought clean shoes yesterday so I don’t feel like quite such a masterdweeb next to all these people.)
(As another aside: corsets, corsets, corsets… ???????? god bless them all. Just as well I didn’t see my people, I probably wouldn’t have slept for a thousand years ??)
I couldn’t find my people, and as half of my sanity had burned down already... I ran away to my room to eat fruit and things ??
The end.
Okay so, what’s actually going on here? A few things. A lot of shit has gone down for me recently, and I think it’s compounded.
1) First of all, my precious motorhome. She’s dead. She went from being worth an estimated ￡6k, to being worth ￡10k, to ￡2k, then ￡1k… and now, I’m looking to find someone to scrap her or take her away for free. She was the motivation for being a freelancer in the damn first place.
A lot of drama around her happened, but it looks like I was deliberately misled when I bought it, so I’ll be looking at lawyers and suing.
That’s the first big emotional tornado. And it’s big. The first real loan I took out, I may as well have set fire to it and then traded in a month or two of life. Ow! Ow!
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2) Secondly… my lil business has somehow worked. Like… pretty well. I’m not a world-class copywriter by any means, but when it comes to lifestyle, business, positioning and tactics… I’m pretty solid. I’ve raised my rates a lot this year. I’d love to chat specifics but as I know it winds some people up, I’ll mention the general stuff…
I started off this year thinking I was an absolute pimp-lord. But then I doubled my rates, then I gave myself a 50% rate increase, then gave myself another 25% rate increase… and I’m soon gonna… 5x my rate again. That’s a lot of multipliers ?? I’m relatively careful with money… and even when I got very sick for 10 weeks, I was alright.
Buuuut if I was alright this time, doesn’t that mean I could just work part of the year if I wanted to next year? Or every year?
??????
3) This coliving space was pretty mind-shattering. Where are the dejected people? Everyone seems pretty happy and friendly, active and grounded. Being in an environment like this is… I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this before. It’s a LOT more intense than uni or anywhere like that.
Everyone here seems to have their shit together and to be doing stuff. I’ve spoken to loads of successful people online this year, but actually physically mingling with successful people is a looooooot to take in.
I’d have boasted to my friends about meeting these people. Now… my friends ARE these people.
I think of this place like the Tower of Babel. (If I had a coliving space, that’s 100% what I’d call it! ??) So this is gonna be emotional tornado number 3.
4) I thought eating takeaways and drinking fizzy drinks whenever I wanted was success. I don’t know how to handle doormen and women in evening dresses, for pete’s sake ?? And heeey, now it’s practical to order food, take ubers, or pay more for stuff just because it saves time. These might sound like small things, but that’s a pretty big lifestyle shift to undergo.
Good stuff, but seriously… what the HELL is going on? Not ten months ago my greatest dream was to live in a van with a giant cat, wearing antique jewellery and colourful baggy clothing.
And now I’m all like “Ehhhh, I think I could retire by 40, it’s feasible that I’d buy lots of properties around the world and live off the rent if I play my cards right.”
And there’s all the little stuff that comes and adds to it. I was looking at those big flashy travel credit cards and after crunching the numbers, it’s actually like… practical for me to have a friggin’ Amex platinum card now? Then...
- I’m listening to audiobooks on investing and property management.
- I’m gonna have the draft for my book done next year, then I’ll be shopping around for a publisher.
- I managed to get a meeting with an airline higher-up this week, and a few seniors that used to work in Expedia?
Wha-wha-when the hell did THAT happen? Who-who-who’s doing that? Me?! Pfff, whatever, I guess ??
Nononoooo, this isn't a boasting thing at all, not even 1%. I'd happily tell you if it was ?? it's a lot of overwhelming stuff at once.
(Three years ago, whenever I got to clean up puke I'd get an extra hour's pay, so I'd always fight to go and clean up the vomit. So just keep that in mind as I write this stuff. Biiiiiit of a different situation now right?)
My brain is finally looking back at all this and it’s like ummm, what happened mate? Are you okay? Are you in a coma in hospital? About to get struck by lightning?
I have had and spent MORE than my share of bravado and self-confidence when it comes to making some big jumps. In fact, I love doing that kinda thing.
However… I was expecting to land at some point? Not fly off into the bloody stratosphere ??
Sooooo yeah, that’s me right now.
I’ll get there, give me a few more weeks, and a few more brain melting interactions in the sauna ??. There’s clearly a lot of deep, internal reconstruction going on right now, so I’m not gonna rush it. Old parts of Steve are being burnt down uncomfortably fast, and new seeds are being sown. For now, I’ll try to get accustomed to this. I think this is why I started being a digital nomad, I’ve just overshot my goals by quiiiiiiite a lot now, and a lot faster than I expected. But hey, until the party stops I guess I’ll just stay aggressive and continue? Seems reasonable? ????♂?
I know I would have been happy in the 31-year-old motorhome doing shrooms and chasing hippies on Tinder, I could have lived like that and been a content man.
I don’t see that happening now, at least not until I’m old.
I don’t think I was aware, I didn’t think that THIS was actually possible, though. So yeah, I do go to the sauna and I feel like some of my highest ambitions have taken shape, like some psychological earthquake is hitting. And a little more old Steve topples down.
I didn’t realise how quickly life could bloom into such completely wacko directions. I usually act as though I have a crystal ball and I know exactly what I’ll be up to at any given time in the future.
But now? I am cah-lueless. I think the ambition will keep things going along nicely and hey, I'm in a great mood.
So wherever it is, whatever it is, I know it’ll be cool.
Yeah, I think that’s how I’d sum it up. Probably a mix of imposter syndrome, shock at the speed of things, all tempered by this burning ambition that keeps urging for more.
But hey, it’s definitely a lot of fun man, it’s just gonna take REAL time to adjust to this.
Anyway, here's my new logo!