Life is Unpredictable

Our family has learned just how real that statement is this year.

Over that past few years, the words memory loss changed to cognition decline to a much harder reality of a vascular dementia with frontal lobe loss not due to stroke diagnosis. What a mouthful. Had to take a step back and breathe.

I was and still will be fiercely protective of that term, dementia.

It is my stance that it should never be talked about so lightly in front of or in earshot of a person who is aware they could have it or know they have it. It is a frightening diagnosis to receive and I can say my Father wept knowing he could not stop it from running its course. Not to mention his other emotions he shared and still shares with me about it. It is not easy to hear him share and see him upset, because there is nothing I can do to stop it either, but he knows I am his rock...so, I listen and I love him with all the reassurance I can give.

On 10-16, his whole world, and ours, did a complete 180 after he was hospitalized. I wasn't present when the need presented itself, but I was told the next day. That day on, things took off at warp speed with how to handle Dad's care. I was so thankful for the 6 years of senior care experience I had and that I work for The Elder & Disability Law Firm. Esther has been amazing.

All of the colleagues I reached out too have helped immensely and we are so very grateful. The support has been wonderful. And here we are now, with my Dad safely in his new home at The Gardens of Riverside.

It was the hardest decision to make to place him and so scary to hand him off to them for his 24/7 needs. Needs that we knew could not be handled at home and that he needed this place.

Still, it does not make it any easier to say good-bye to a man, after each visit, that has always been a fixture in my life to turn too whenever I needed him.

His words are coming in less now, but he still speaks up just fine and has the notion to get it out and express himself more often than not! I know I am helping Mom understand him when we visit him together and it is helping her know what to do.

How I hate dementia! It steals, it robs, it ruins.

Watching my Mom handle her journey of acceptance has been hard. Not to mention, other matters that were unmerited. The focus is and always will be his best interest and Mom's interests next! No one really wins with dementia, you just get through it doing the best you can for your loved one and you anchor in for the ride...with the best plan and the best attitude you can. With me, it has been my faith and a good support system!

Stephanie Oden, David Bisaha & staff of The Gardens of Riverside, thank you! From the moment I first called Stephanie, I knew she would take on Dad's needs without any doubt. He wasn't exactly an easy case...lol! He is a self-made man and it still shows up within his behaviors. God bless him...he is a Fisher!

But, she knew what to do and so did David. Dad calls David a good man and a good friend and he is ready to play baseball with him soon! David, you won my Dad over and he really likes you.

Stephanie caught on to Dad the night he was discharged from the hospital... both Stephanie and David stayed until 10:30pm to ensure Dad fell asleep. And, made sure rounds would be done to ensure he had not fallen trying to get out of bed. Mom and I left exhausted physically and emotionally, but happy that he was sleeping soundly. Anthem Hospice did a wonderful job handling his transportation and medical equipment and more.

All along this day by day and moment by moment craziness, my Dad always reacted in joy and love when he saw Mom! He does with me too and I am sure with my sisters. But, Mom is the big deal!

He loves his family and I am so thankful he can still recall us! That moment, that day is coming. It will be one of the hardest ones I think I will ever know. There is not enough knowledge, training or forewarning that can remove that sting. It will ebb and flow and that's what I hold on too and I tell my Mom be prepared for it too.

For now, Dad is praying with the other residents and staff and trying to be the class clown! So him! Not to mention, rearrange his room or help do jobs. Again, that is Dad.

It does me good to see him settling and actually showing a content manner. I do see how the disease has progressed, but I also see how my Dad has improved from his hospital stay. He is more ambulatory and self-sufficient! That is a blessing!

Mom and I pray for him to know God's comfort and to hear God's voice. All things are possible...that's His promise!

God can reach my Dad when no one else can, regardless of the circumstance.

Mom is still working on many things to tie up and I do my part to help her see where they are, how to do it and what it all means. She gets overwhelmed at times...who wouldn't! I can be bossy! lol! Well, I am just a good project manager. That's because my Dad was and I learned from him. So, there you have it! I got his legacy. Yeah!

I do not plan to do a ton of sharing on social media. It just is not important to me. So, if anyone wants to know more, reach out to me privately. This is a family journey that I want to cherish more than I want to share about it on social media. Your prayers and encouragement are always welcomed! The journey is en route and we have much to traverse yet still.

So, as my Dad would do when heading out for a road trip, prayer for journey's mercies.

#dementia #family #journeys