Life is a Train | #MyFridayStory No. 348

The person the world sees changes throughout our lives, continuously transforming, always influenced by the circumstances we face.

Between the ages of 18 and 42, I hosted some epic parties. There were birthday celebrations, a wedding, a divorce, and even a few "just-for-mos" gatherings. I organised parties to rekindle friendships or celebrate Christmas in July. We had black-tie Casino Nights and countless themed dress-up parties. One party began ten minutes after midnight and involved teams racing to an unknown location in the morning, solving cryptic clues along the way. The race ended at an upmarket hotel for breakfast – everyone barefoot!

That era came to a close when I checked myself into rehab, having become an alcoholic and addict. Those wild parties became distant memories. There was one last blowout for my 50th – "F*ck Fransie is Fifty." The theme? Come dressed as something starting with the letter “F.” I went as Fred Flintstone from the waist down and Freddie Krueger from Friday the 13th on top – Fred Flintstone meets Freddy Krueger!

After I married, I bought my first house – a neat, three-bedroom home with a stunning kitchen, a sparkling pool, and a sizeable garden. Around the same time, I opened an American Diner just a few blocks away, and our first child was born. The diner quickly became a popular hangout for a group of young adults, including my first customer, who became one of my best friends. We spent a lot of time at my house, having dinners, playing board games, and hosting pool parties that stretched from day to night. We played cricket, rugby, and soccer, made braais, listened to music, and had heaps of fun.

Then came the crash. My business partner vanished to Australia with all our money, leaving me with nothing. I lost the business, the house, and my car. He left me with a Maserati that needed parts from Italy, and stupidly, I had signed surety. That decision led to a lifelong financial blacklisting. My ex-wife, our son, and I moved into my childhood bedroom at my parents' house. Eventually, we managed to rent a tiny two-bedroom flat, but the damage was done.

Growing up, my parents cooked together, seamlessly sharing the preparation of meals. My dad did the bulk of the cooking, passing that love of food to me. Throughout the 17 years of marriage, I did most of the cooking and baking. I’ve always been happiest behind a stove or a braai. Every day, I made fresh meals for the family, and Sunday lunches or Thursday dinners were elaborate affairs, complete with desserts. I loved baking, from cakes and biscuits to fridge tarts and puddings – the kitchen was my haven.

After the divorce, I moved into a small townhouse. The space was tiny – two small bedrooms, one bathroom, and a postage-stamp garden. There was no room to entertain, and the joy I found in cooking and baking faded until it disappeared entirely.

During my marriage, people often said that if we ever divorced, I would be the one to fall apart, possibly ending up in the gutter. They might have been right, had I not gone to rehab. It’s fascinating to reflect on how people perceive you depending on when they meet you. There are so many labels one could assign to the different phases of life: student, father, patient, musician, addict, husband, artist, employee, failure, uncle, employer, bankrupt, mentor, graduate, ex-husband, alcoholic, grandfather, Man of God, and humble servant.

Life is like a train. As your train moves forward through time, people get on and off. At each stop, passengers disembark, and new ones board, travelling with you for a while. They share in your life’s journey, experiencing only the chapter you’re living when they’re on board. The aspects of your life that have already passed, those layers of experience and personality, remain hidden from view.

To fully understand me, to see the complete picture, you'd have to ride my train with me from the beginning, which none of us can do. Of course, you have your own train. We all do. Recognising that there are stations you’ve passed without me helps remind me that there are many layers of your personality I have yet to discover. Through compassion and patience, we can take the time to learn about each other's lives, growing our bond of friendship and love ever stronger.

HT ~ Rev Shona (HOT 102.7 FM)

Have a great weekend and please remember to be generous! ??

As always, thanks for reading. ??

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