Life is a sum of decisions

By: Jiayue Zhan

Life is the sum of the decisions you make.

If you invest in yourself, you will grow. If you invest in your kids, they will grow, if you invest in friendships they will grow. If you invest in your business, it will grow.

And it all starts with what you’re having for breakfast.?

Real investment is making a promise to yourself to jog 10km because you want to be better than yesterday. It’s about showing up every day for work without complaint even when you have no energy to get out of bed. It’s about spending 8 hours doing unseen work because you held yourself accountable when nobody else cared.

Real investment is cooking healthy meals for yourself and nourishing your mind and body. It’s expanding your mind with knowledge and skills that you didn’t have yesterday. Real investment is taking a look into the inner depths of yourself – to see the rawness of all your imperfections, faults, and inner demons… not to put yourself down, but to have the courage to face who you are and be willing to change for the better.?

Life is a game of endurance. You are rewarded not by what you did once, nor by the lofty goals that you have brewed in your mind. Rather, you are rewarded by what you actually did today and that you will continue doing tomorrow.

Regression of the theory

Some may rightfully ask: how can it be that I invest so much into my friendships, yet my friends betrayed me? Another may ask: how can it be that I invested my everything into my relationship, yet my partner ended up breaking my heart?

It’s either because you never made a real investment in the first place or that you misplaced your investment and self-sabotaged. Let me explain.

Let’s say your friend invited you to her birthday party. Is going to a birthday party called investing? Maybe. It’s an investment of your time. But that is not an investment of substance. Real investment is completely altruistic. It does not hinge on reciprocity. Real investment is a parent who is in the hospital with their child when they have a fever. It’s investing $85,000 to fund their children’s education without any expectation of return.

It’s everything that happens when no one is watching.

Real investment is doing the things that no one wants to do because they’re hard. And they hurt. And they might be painful.

The best thing to invest in is yourself.

Understanding another person is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of life. Every person in this world is different and unique. Yet, one thing that we have in common is the childhood wounds that we carry with us. It shapes our present and if we do not keep it in check, will shadow our futures. Hence, we must be wary of the expectations and assumptions we cast upon others.

Suppose you invest in something that someone doesn’t need or want – it’s misplaced. For instance, you spend an incredible amount of time, money, and energy planning an extravagant birthday party for your spouse. You invested 100+ hours and $3500+ but their result and reaction did not live up to your expectations. The reality is that our partners, friends, and colleagues may not place the same value on the things that we find pleasure, truth, and value in.

So, my best advice is don’t do things that subtract from yourself. Find every opportunity to find ways to enrich yourself whether mind – body – or soul.

There is an idiom in Chinese that says

雪中送炭 (xuě zhōng sòng tàn)

Literally, it means to send charcoal in snowy weather

Figuratively, it means to provide help in the hour of need

This idiom can inspire us all to be better people. Find ways to be someone’s hot coal on a cold day.

And most importantly, kindle your own fire before you give it away.