Life Skills - A Guaranteed path to lead Happy, Healthy and Energetic life.
Dr Sunnil Srivastava, PhD.
Mentor, Counselling Psychologist & Inner Transformation Facilitator.
We all are buyers, we all buy things that we use in our day to day life. We buy Television, Refrigerator, Washing Machine, Car or something similar to our use. If we notice there is a manual for the users to read it before we actually use these products. "User Manual" is the guided instructions as to how to use any such machine.
The day when we are born, we get a LIFE, but we are not given such user manual as to how to use this LIFE. What if we all have given such manual at the time of birth. Then probably we are not required to talk on this topics. LIFE Skill is one such things that no body get at the time of birth. LIFE skills need to be learned. We learn this skills as we grow. When situation comes we learn it automatically either consciously or unconsciously,
In recent times it is not that easy to lead a LIFE. These days we face challenges at every steps, expectation from self is increasing day by day, the competition is so much outside, the corruption all over, people are so demanding and impatient. All these have resulted so much unwanted pressure, stress, anxiety and frustration and finally we landed where we perceive that there is no solution and tell our self that LIFE is complex state of affairs, Life is not so easy, and we start blaming others for the complexities that we face.
However, if we shift our consciousness and concentrate on our own self we realise that this LIFE can be handled and can be taken into our control. That's when LIFE Skills comes into picture. Life Skills or Soft Skills is one the most powerful weapon which will support you to sustain the battle of life, right from the personal to professional life and from social life to spiritual life.
We will talk about few important LIFE SKILLS which everyone should learn and practice. WHO (World Health Organisation) has emphasised and listed about 10 must learn life skills.
We will discuss a few of these skills in this article.
To increase the self awareness, there are various popular self done practices, it could be Meditation, Yoga, sitting in silence etc. Johari Window Model of self awareness is another powerful exercise to practice.
2. Critical Thinking - Critical Thinking is the skills which allows you to think clearly, and rationally. You think not just once but keep thinking about the ideas that you have. Albert Einstein once said "If I am given 60 minutes to solve a problem then I will think for 55 minutes and 5 minutes for solution. Critical thinkers will identify, analyse and solve problems systematically rather than by intuition or instinct.
While practicing Critical thinking use the word like Who, What, Where, When, Why and How to question the ideas that you have. For Example, Think of anything where someone has recently told you. Then ask yourself the following questions:
Who said it?
Someone you know? Someone in a position of authority or power? Does it matter who told you this?
What did they say?
Did they give facts or opinions? Did they provide all the facts? Did they leave anything out?
Where did they say it?
Was it in public or in private? Did other people have a chance to respond an provide an alternative account?
When did they say it?
Was it before, during or after an important event? Is timing important?
Why did they say it?
Did they explain the reasoning behind their opinion? Were they trying to make someone look good or bad?
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How did they say it?
Were they happy or sad, angry or indifferent? Did they write it or say it? Could you understand what was said?
This is how one can practice improving critical thinking skills.
3. Effective Communication - This is such skill which will transform your life 360 degree. Acquiring effective communication skills is not just an academic exercise, it is one of the most important life skills you will need to succeed in your holistic life. Your success in this class may well depend on your ability to communicate. To become an effective communicator you should be able to ask and answer questions, summarise opinions, distinguish facts from opinion and interact fruitfully with your parents, peers, teachers, family members and colleagues. To become effective communicator, you should be a good listener too at the same time.
Effective communication has two components.
a) Intrapersonal Communication - Which means how you communicate with self, In other word it is self talk. It encompasses activities like your thought process, your perception, your emotions, your visualization and finally personal decision making. Intrapersonal communication or Self talk is very important. You need to consciously observe as you what kind of you talk and what quality of talk you do with yourself. If your talk are self motivating and positive your outlook will be positive, your surrounding will be positive and attractive. Remember, while doing self talk you are getting the possible solutions also of your issues that you might be facing in you life. You must be consciously aware while doing it.
b) Interpersonal Communication - Which means how you communicate to other people and form communicative relationships. Face-to-face and mediated conversation , interviews and small group discussion, public speaking activities are considered to be interpersonal communication. To improve upon interpersonal communication you need to work on your body language, tonality and rapport building exercise.
4. Assertive Skills - Assertiveness means personal rights and feelings. You are assertive when you stand up for your rights in such a way that the right of others are not violated. It is your right to protect yourself when something seems unfair because you the one who knows your discomforts and needs best. Beyond just demanding your rights, you can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously, you can talk about yourself without being self conscious, you can accept compliments comfortably, you can disagree someone openly, you can ask for clarification and and you can say "no". In short you are assertive person, you can be more relaxed in interpersonal situations.
Assertive behaviour may be contrasted with both non-assertive behaviour and aggressive behaviour. Assertive people express their genuine feelings, stick up for their legitimate rights and refuse unreasonable requests. But they do not insult, threaten or abuse anyone. Following steps are suggested to build your assertive skills.
5. Management of Emotions - Human mind is nothing but bundle of thoughts, we create about Seventy thousands thoughts in a day. Every thoughts are attached with certain emotions. Those emotions creates either negative or positive feeling. Based on our feeling we take actions. If our feeling is positive most of the time, we shouldn't be worried. If it is negative most of the time, we should be alert. Our feeling has the direct impact on the action either verbal or non verbal. It creates impact on our relationships, our professional life, our personal growth and almost every areas of our life.
Management of emotions is equally important life skills of these period. Emotions are subtle in nature and it gets triggered the moment we come across similar situation which we have experienced in our past life. It is therefore, it is advised that we must be aware of our thoughts and feeling particularly when adverse situation comes in. If we are aware we can control the situation without disturbing the environment. We must take a pause when we face any adverse circumstances which was not expected. Remember, no situation in your life is bigger than you. You will realise this fact only when you practice the steps or various methods on how to manage the emotions. No situation or event in this life can harm you, it is the distorted thoughts, emotions and feeling that creates disturbances in our life.
6. Management of Stress. Stress is very common feelings in these days. Stress is the?feeling of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with mental or emotional pressure. There are various stressor in our life. There are various reason of being stressed, it could be changes that is happening in life, work pressure in office, study, examination, interview, public speaking, fear, phobias etc. Some amount of stress is good as it allows to complete the task in time. However, if it becomes your habit then you must be alert.
You can learn to manage your stress?before it gets to be too much. Following tips would be helpful to keep stress at bay:
Finally, It is found in many study and research that Life Skills or Soft Skills alone able to help an individual to stand up in their personal and professional life, no matter how big the Hard Skills he /she has.
Hope readers will find it helpful.
Contact / Feedback:
Sunnil Srivastava, Research Scholar at the Yoga University of America, Florida, USA.
Email : [email protected]