Life skills from my life-partner

We are a mixture of people we hang out with – a lot of our character is built on theirs. Next to our parents and siblings, it is our life-partner from whom we are influenced a lot, especially, if you get married quite young and become adults together.

I met my husband about 2 decades ago – he was one of the new students who joined the department of chemistry, and he was sitting right at my favorite spot in the class - it was not love at first sight, it was a fight for reclaiming my spot! We eventually became lab partners, friends and more than friends. And that is story to be shared for some other space. However, today, I am sharing top 3 life skills I learnt from my partner.

Being experimental and taking risks

My husband is a daring individual who is not afraid to take risks and experiment. His experimental approach to life has allowed him to push boundaries and challenge the status quo, resulting in a non-conventional career curve – from being a chemistry researcher to a teacher, to a project manager, then an entrepreneur opening 2 restaurants and presently an electrician. He taught me not to be afraid to question your path in life when you stop enjoying it and recalibrate to make changes. Sometimes, we keep on working on a familiar path because we fear the unknown, we are too comfortable to take a risk. However, in being too comfortable, we miss many opportunities, growth and learning. With him on my side, I had the strength to leave my job, my family back home in India and pursue PhD in Montreal.

Making friends, without any prejudice

My husband is handsome, witty, extroverted – and with that combination it is so easy for him to make friends or network. When I met him, I was a studious, reserved, solitary types who will never speak to a stranger, stick to a few of my close friends who are almost like me. Generally, my rule was to seek friendship in similar kind of people, with same philosophy, same values – not him. He would be super motivated to hear a story of someone with a different angle. He would tell me that people who are different from you are the most fascinating because they expose you to unknown emotions, unknown experiences, and unknown life. Thanks to him, I have a diverse set of friends with all their stories and struggles, and their different adventures, diverse backgrounds have enriched my own life.

Do not sweat the small stuff!

My husband’s superpower is to keep himself away from over analyzing and worrying about petty problems. He will never try to make people, situations, things or projects perfect – he will always try to make them work, that too, with humor, smile and confidence. We worry about what people are thinking about us, or what they said, or did they really mean what they said, should I wear this or not, should I start this project or not, do they like me or not, and the list goes on. Most of the times when we fuss about little things, they are so little or inconsequential in the bigger picture. His strategy is to see the bigger picture and I have tried to adapt to this strategy myself (in spite of being an avid over-analysis girl). Over the years this helped me execute projects faster, maintain my friendships, love my family more, conduct myself with confidence, and as a bonus – gave me fewer wrinkles.

On Valentine’s Day, I often ask myself – what is love? It is a million smiles and a thousand tears. It is hard work on both sides. We grew up together, worked hard to realize our dreams – still an A team on accomplishing any project we take on together. In the beginning we were two extreme personalities – in a way, we still are – but now we have merged. And this merger has allowed me to be a powerful leader, a loving mother, and a confident woman.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, dear. Thank you for constant source of hugs, love, understanding, inspiration, and courage in my life.?