A life in service of others is a beautiful thing.

Then.

Shortly before I dropped to my knees and screamed at my wife - "I am broken, fix me", I was at the depths of my despair and had been quietly nursing addiction most of my life. I had hit the bottom. - Bottoming out is a term in some 12 step programs that denotes a period where things have gotten so intolerable that positive change must come soon or total and absolute self destruction will have succeeded - This was the 18th Aug 2022. 1 Year, 8 months, 6 days, 15 hours and 26 minutes at time of writing this article.

Now.

The road to recovery is not a straight line and seldom is a straight forward one either.

The alcohol abuse was a symptom of the disease in my body. Much like giving a headache pill for a headache. it may subside the symptom, but the headache will return if you don't treat the source of the problem, perhaps dehydration for example.

So if alcohol wasn't the problem, what was?

Now starts a journey of self discovery and learning.

Along this journey, I have had a fantastic guide and partner. She was the one who had the courage to point out I was unwell, where everyone else just let me continue. My wife.

I have since learned that in order to truly heal and stay there, you must perform daily work. We must practice every day. Service to others, is one form of my daily work and practice.

My business Digital Presence UK serves my community to enrich their experience in life and business. My directorship at Save A Warrior UK CIC is my life's work. SAW gave me the knowledge and understanding I needed to piece together my world. It gave me the ability to LOOK and let go of the stories that were keeping me stuck but most importantly, it gave me the the opportunity to become complete with my past and declare myself as being something more than a tormented young boy who didn't know who he was, but thought he knew who he was.

Sometimes things get placed into your path, and at the time you don't realise or can see the opportunity that it presents. Of course, no one can see into the future and predict what's going to happen. But if we trust in a process and belief that if we are honest, and kind we will be met in kind with the same people, then what we are doing is giving our plans over to a higher power, and trusting that he knows what's best for me. Because let's face it, how I was running the show prior to this point in my life, wasn't working.

Since trusting my gut, and looking for the clues left by my blue whale, things have started clicking into place. One such meeting as a result of listening to the gut was with the PaveTheChange.org/People . A group of likeminded, service orientated individuals.

Thank you for reading and being part of the story. I welcome any and responses and am open to conversation, in full confidence. If you are done suffering, and ready to let go of the "nothings wrong with me" story, please get in touch.

Love

Tom