Life is a Rollercoaster!

So you may as well enjoy the ride!!

This is an interesting time of year for me.?Imagine this..............

It's the 10/12/ 2015 and you are about to give a presentation to a group of people, in my case it was a group of delegates who were attending a training course I was running, when you receive a call totally out of the blue saying "your partner has died".

I am sure you can picture my shock, confusion, disbelief, and devistation on hearing the news, especially as when I left for work that morning the last thing?my partner said to me was "I love you so much".??

Visualise, 5 years to the day in 2020, my ex-partners mum dies.?So I guess you can envisage why it is an interesting time of year for me.

This email isn't an autobiographical message by any means, although it may have come across that way.?The point of the article is that change can happen at any time, sometimes when we least expect it.

"Change is the only constant in life" - Heraclitus

Hopefully the changes in life you experience aren't as profound as mine and here are 3 simple steps that may help you, when change occurs in your life:?

1.?Choose the meaning you give to the situation.

Things are going to happen that you have got some control over, and things will happen that you have NO control over whatsoever.

Here's the thing, it has happened anyway so it is then how you react to it.?You can either let the situation dictate you or, take control of what you can.

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason although we may not understand or appreciate the reason at the time.

I was recently watching the film We Were Soldiers which, is one of my favourite films.?Personally, I just think the film is amazing, that it is based on fact, and the way the stories of the people involved are told.

Anyway, in one scene, Col Hal Moore (played by Mel Gibson) is talking to Galloway who is a photographer (played by Barry Pepper), and the interaction goes like this:

Gibson: "Why aren't you a soldier, you've got the guts for it."

Pepper: "My daddy was a soldier, my Grandaddy, two of my Great Grandaddies were soldiers.?Hell that is how I came to be.?See, each of them lost a leg in the civil war.?My Great Grandaddy Galloway lost his left and Great Grandaddy Reid lost his right.?They met in a shoe store in Galston.?Every year after that, they met on the same date in the same store to get together to pick out a brand new pair of shoes for the two of them.?One had a daughter and one had a son, my Grandparents."

Sometimes things happen and sometimes it is for the greater good although we can not see it at the time.

2.?Create an outcome you want.

Your mind is an extroadinary piece of kit.?It is like a really powerful computer, it is just we haven't been given a user manual with it!

Therefore, it is so important to know what you want as your outcome/result/target.?You mind works like a guidence system on a heat seeking missile (sorry it is another war based metaphor) meaning, when your mind knows it's outcome, it becomes both a conscious and unconscious thought pattern.??

When you focus on what you want, you may well get 'blown off course' with challenges that come along the way, however; you also attract things unconsciously that you need to achieve what you are looking for.??

Let me ask you a question, have you ever been in a situation where you have just purchased a new outfit, handbag or possibly a new car.?You then wear it/use it for the first time and you see others just like it??So what changed??Nothing really as those items were always around.?It is your subconscious mind that is now recognising these opportunities.?To be exact, it is the Reticular Activating System (RAS) that normally deletes these images when you see them as 'unimportant' but when it is connected to your desired outcome, you become more aware of them.?

3.?Take action.

For many people, they decide what they want but then don't take action and procrastinate.?Why?

Fear!

Most people don't take action because they create fear and doubts that then hold them back.?The thing is, to achieve what you want, you need to take the action you need to, despite these fears.?We are born with two fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling.?The rest you have generated yourself through references in life.?These references can be personal experiences, other peoples experiences or something you read or see.

Here's the thing though, you will have already overcome some fears to get where you are today so many congratulations!?So if you have overcome some fears previously, you can do it again if what you are looking to achieve is a strong enough want and desire.

I had the pleasure of working with a HR Director client recently, who had an issue with her MD?as she felt he was a bully, impacting her confidence.?Because of this, she tended to withdraw when it looked as if a confrontation was occuring.?After working together, she stood up to him at a Directors meeting and, because it was a Zoom meeting, she could see the faces of all the other Directors.?Picture this, all the other faces staring back at you with open mouths and their jaws dropping with what had just been said.?

My client 'went for it' and although fearful, she knew what she needed to do and what was right.?Because of her outcomes, she took the actions to make it happen and because of this, she became the first lady in the company's history, to Chair a Board of Directors meeting and I for one, am so proud of her.??

"Change is inevitable, growth is optional" - John C Maxwell

Embrace the changes that will happen in life and although they may be challenging at the time, you will decide what they mean and how best to act.

Keep on being the special person you are and stay safe!!

Dave