"If Life is a Game, these are the Rules"

"If life is a game these are the rules" is one of the first psychology/self-help books I bought in 1998. I was still at university but the title caught my attention and although I was studying business, psychology was a passion of mine. Sometimes the topics I choose to talk about here are inspired by conversations I have with people or coaching sessions I have with clients. This week I decided to go through my bookshelf and see what calls me.

When I opened the book and saw the 10 rules I am sharing as an image here, I realized how much the ideas in this book have impacted me over the years. It feels like I had made the choice to follow these rules when I decided to live more consciously.

I can of course analyze these rules, change or add to them a few but this is not where I want to go today. I thought a book of simple rules deserves a simple reflection.

I am choosing three lessons to focus on and share my own thoughts about:

no. 4 Lessons are repeated until learned

Life has a way of throwing the same lesson at us time and time again until we learn it. Sometimes people come to me for help when they are going through a tough time and the one common sentence I hear is "why does this keep happening to me?" I always invite them to change the question to "why am I attracting this event into my life? What is the lesson I need to learn here?" These questions require a mindset shift, a movement from being a victim to becoming the person in charge. An openness to curiosity and seeing through the heart, beyond the ego, into what the soul wants to achieve in this life, and get a glimpse of purpose. Instead of being a spectator in my own life, I start clearly seeing the part I play in it. Only then can I start to change my behavior and as a result, create a new reality for myself.

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist called this synchronicity. He wrote:

"It's as if we attract experiences to us that allow us to become conscious of limited or restricted parts of ourselves in order to transform".

no. 6 "There" is no better than "Here"

Yes it may seem greener on the other side. People who have more money, a better car, who seem more successful or happier and the list can go on and on... Surely they're doing something I'm not! There must be a way for me to get from "here" to "there"! The truth is that the here and now is all there is. "There" is only an imagination of the ego, a state in the future that motivates us to keep moving forward because we grow up learning and believing that life is about the goals we set for ourselves and achieve. The issue is with the nature of the goals we design. They are always external to us when in reality they should be internal. Instead of moving out towards a "there" that is yet to exist, the invitation is to relish and rejoice in the "here" of truth, self-discovery and light, in this present moment.

no. 7 Others are only mirrors of you

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves." ~ Carl Jung

It took me years to understand this one. This rule highlights the idea that our perceptions of others can provide valuable insights into our own inner world and offer opportunities for self-awareness and personal development. The way we interpret and respond to the actions, behaviors, and characteristics of others is influenced by our own experiences, beliefs, and emotions. We see in others the limitations of our own self; it's as if there are filters in front of our eyes that only allow us to see a truth we create through our own life experience.

This is sometimes a difficult concept to understand, so here a few ways I can explain how others are mirrors of us.

Projection: Sometimes, when we notice certain traits or behaviors in others, it may be because we possess those same qualities but are either unaware of them or find them difficult to accept in ourselves. In this sense, what we perceive in others is a projection of our own internal state.

Relatability and Understanding: Our ability to understand and empathize with others is often based on our own experiences and emotions. When we observe someone's actions or feelings, we may draw from our own experiences to better comprehend and relate to their situation.

Triggers and Reflections: Sometimes, the emotions or reactions triggered by others' behaviors can provide insights into unresolved issues within ourselves. For example, if someone's behavior consistently makes us angry, it might indicate that there is an underlying issue or insecurity within us that needs attention and resolution.

Self-awareness and Growth: Recognizing that others serve as mirrors can be an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. By paying attention to our reactions and judgments of others, we can gain valuable insights into our own strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement.

In service of your growth, I would like to leave you with a challenge. I am away next week so my next newsletter will only come out on May 17th. Over the next couple of weeks, I invite you to observe how the above 3 rules show up in your life. I am sure there will be an opportunity for you to observe how someone else can be a mirror of you, or how your own projection into the future may make you wish to be somewhere else other than "here", or to reflect on a pattern that keeps showing up in your life and for the first time change the question from "why me?" to "why am I attracting this right now?"

Happy exploration! I would love to read how it goes if you wish to share.