Life in lockdown Age 11 3/4

Every morning starts the same. She wakes up naturally around 715am. She spends about 30 minutes deciding on her outfit (co-ordinating all accessories, changing her hairstyle several times to match, and checking the weather forecast on Alexa). If the weather allows, she does stretches and her yoga routine in the garden before taking the dog for a short walk.

If the mood takes her, she takes her breakfast in the garden and sits up a tree eating. If raining, she sits at the door looking out in the garden. She then disappears to her room for her first lesson.

At break time she comes and joins me in the kitchen where we play cards, and eat snacks.

After another lesson, she is back for lunch. We always sit down as a family and eat. After lunch, there may be another card game, or she disappears to play the piano, watch mindless YouTube videos or lay in bed.

90 minutes later and it is the end of the working day. At 320pm. At this point, we take the dog out for a walk in the fields. Depending on her mood she then starts crafting in front of the TV, or back to bed to watch something on her Chromebook. It’s her choice whether she wants my company or be alone but after 320pm I prioritise her, not work. Not always easy but something I decided was needed in lockdown 1: whilst challenging, the rewards have been worth the late nights catching up with work.

She has to cook a family meal once or twice a week. Most evenings we now slob in front of the TV with our dinner. We have been binge-watching TV shows like Vera, Jonathan Creek and Doctor Who. (TV shows from the days when we referred to series rather than seasons). Whilst watching she crafts – bullet journal, pompom making, drawing, watercolours. Any rules about the sitting room being an “adult zone” with no crafting or shoes allowed disappeared when lockdown 1 started.

By 830pm she is off to bed.

The weekend routine is fairly similar. We avoid putting the TV on until at least 3 pm. She occupies herself by crafting, sewing, gardening. Occasional days are spent in bed watching Disney reruns. We spend time at my mum’s house giving her different rooms to fill with crafting paraphernalia.

Her mood

80% of the time she is bouncing, chatting, laughing. She is the joy in the house. She cuddles and loves. She entertains and dances. She sets herself challenges and works on them until she either achieves them or moves on to the next with a skip.

20% of the time she is tired, with no energy and looks sad. She doesn’t want to talk to friends or go for a walk. That isn’t lock-down. It’s human behaviour, and she is nearly 12. I know that, but I still worry.

Her future life

In two weeks, she returns to school. In five weeks, she returns to tennis and can meet five friends outside. In seven weeks, she will return to ballet and dance. She will finally get the fringe cut that she wants, and can shop for clothes that fit. She can go to the zoo with her grandma. In twelve weeks, she can see her other grandparents, and have friends in the house. At some point, during that period she will return to Scouts, and we will go camping.

Her life will be very different.

She will be woken at 630am. Rushed, chased and probably shouted at to be ready for the bus at 730am. She will have no choice over what she wears and when she is ready. She will be governed by a bell and timetable. If she needs a cuddle with the dog, or me (I know the order) she will have to wait but at which point the moment would have passed. She will eat her lunch at an amazing speed before doing an extra-curriculum club. She’ll return home an hour later than her day finishes now. Three evenings a week she will need to get changed, quickly eat and leave again to do a club. The other two evenings will be spent catching up on homework.

Saturday she will work through her list of homework, and go to a dance class for two hours. Sundays will be split between seeing family and going out.

She will live to a timetable. With a mother who will constantly be chasing, writing lists and checking she is “on schedule”. With a mother who is unlikely to be at home that much, and when she is will have other priorities. She will hardly see her sister. She won’t have time to go in the garden and will be unaware of the bird and plants she has loved so much over lockdown. She will sleep less. She will countdown weeks to school holidays when she gains control of her life again.

With school and the removal of lockdown, there come many positives. She will be with her peers. She will learn, good and bad, from friends. She will gain a different sort of independence. She tells me she will work harder and concentrate more once back in a classroom.

The balance

I know it is the right thing – for her to return to school, and lockdown to end. She will lose her freedom, self-expression and choice but gain many other experiences.

She has learnt life skills and resilience in the past twelve months that will stay with her for life. She has been bored and dealt with it. She has discovered skills, activities and pleasures in simple things. She has lived the childhood of the early 80s with the benefit of tech.

I now need to figure out how to mix lockdown life and normal life to take forward the best of both worlds for her. And for me.